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"What's ur name?"
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Author:  Mr. Amador [ Sat Jun 20, 2009 5:20 am ]
Post subject:  "What's ur name?"
Its been a long time since my last post. I've been busy, and I've been aproching a lot of girls. Often success depends on little details, like noticing small details and using them:

"Your pupils are really wide now, in medieval times noble women used to put poison on their eyes to make their pupils bigger, cause its a sign of arousal"

"Why do you scratch off your nail polish? (while grabbing her hand) dont do that"

It sounds really simple and non-obvious. I use stuff like that as a turning point, the interaction goes from "just talking to this cool interesting guy" to "something os going one here".

Using a person's name helps to create rapport "So, Johana, thats pretty cool, when was the last time you felt like that" (simple NLP)

And thats when I have a problem, that is getting increasingly annoying: I cant remember her name.

The loud music, the alcohol and my mindset make me forget names real easy, and I cant use them in my favor.

Besides, its uncomfortable, and even akward to have to ask for her name again as I get her number. And sometimes they tell me "look me up on facebook"...I cant find her without her name.

Any ideas on how to remember names? Please consider that it has to be fool-proof, I have to remember her name even if I'm a lil' bit drunk.
Author:  Regional King [ Sat Jun 20, 2009 8:02 am ]
Post subject: 
I need help with this too...

I number closed one night, got the number, ahh how do you spell your name :)
Author:  Watermelon [ Sat Jun 20, 2009 12:40 pm ]
Post subject: 
Use associations.
Author:  LaVitaèBreve [ Sat Jun 20, 2009 3:25 pm ]
Post subject: 
ditch the alcohol and use kino to be close enough so that you can hear each other. If this is a group set in a club or otherwise loud situation you'll just have to listen harder. Once you've isolated the target hearing shouldn't be an issue.
Author:  Pontalito [ Sat Jun 20, 2009 4:26 pm ]
Post subject: 
As watermelon said. Try to associet her name with something like a celebrity or anything else that can give you a hint of her name :P
Author:  Marc [ Sat Jun 20, 2009 5:32 pm ]
Post subject: 
I'd always GIVE them a fun name, like a "troblemaker", "coolcat","annoyingkid", " pain in the ass" etc etc.. Wht it does for you: it sets the stage for day 2 !! You can call her that name and she would associate it with the GOOD time she had with you. I have been on day 5-6 w/o callin them by their real name :) And after that you dont even need one.

I have had this habit since I was a kid, everytime I like someone, a friend or relative, I'd give them a special name and thts more like and inside secret thing between the person and me and it make sthem feel closer to you.
Author:  winkyy [ Sat Jun 20, 2009 6:24 pm ]
Post subject: 
If she asks you to add her on facebook or if you're putting the number in your phone, just ask her how to spell her name.
Author:  trixsta [ Sun Jun 21, 2009 2:01 pm ]
Post subject: 
"so, how do you spell my name?"

"you can't spell 'meg'?

not foolproof, especially if it's easy like "mia" "may" "meg" "anna" or "becky" or"laura"

but the best you've got i suppose.
Author:  zhukaching [ Mon Jun 22, 2009 4:28 am ]
Post subject: 
not a pua trick but i did this ALOT in uni ;)

when you get her number just say "how do i spell your name?" LOL
Author:  Pepsi [ Mon Jun 22, 2009 5:27 am ]
Post subject: 
What's wrong with just saying "haha I forgot your name, what is it again?". I don't think any girl would mind if you said it jokingly and with confidence. If anything it would just show you're not putting huge emphasis on the interaction.
Author:  R.G. [ Mon Jun 22, 2009 4:11 pm ]
Post subject: 
I agree with Pepsi.

The two things I usually do is:

-Never use the original name (except for playing psychological tricks) - If a name was, say Johanna, I would turn that to Joey. Rather than making a totally unrelated playful name which you can throw in anyway, this creates intimacy and you're much more likely to remember it.

-If you forget, just like Pepsi said, just say it. Remember it's not what you say but how you say it. I often just say, plain and simple, "what was you're name again?" Don't be apologetic or nervous, because that will only make the HB feel worse. Just have a strong frame, convey non-verbally that you're interested and be plain about it. She will understand that you're sincere and that everyone forgets names. Big deal.

Contrast this with if you apologised, blushed, stuttered and asked the same question...game over.

You can also verbally pace and lead. E.g. "This is a bit of an anti-climax, but I've forgotton your name." Don't make excuses, and say it matter-of-factly. All's good.
Author:  Mr. Amador [ Fri Jun 26, 2009 4:19 am ]
Post subject: 
Thanks, your comments helped a lot.

I wanted to use names for NLP routines, cause is easy to call a girl the same way that everyone is. (the joey example), and having as much info on the girl gives me resources to move foward.

Alcohol is, and always has been a lubricant in social interactions, it helps me to aproach, and to be a lil' bit more agressive on my advances.

Usually I start opening a lot when I have a few to many drinks, and as I work the room I try to sober up, to be on my full mental capacity fo the close.

The association technique that Watermelon suggested proved to be not adecuate for my pourposes, cause in my "diminished state of mind" I couldnt find more than 3 things to associate over 15 girls with....

The thing that finally worked was to repeat to myself (in my mind of course) the girl's name, three times.

I got over it and I had a great night.

The lesson here for everyone is how getting rid small but annoying stuff can help you be sharper. I tried to barrel trough this particular issue a few times, and yes its possible to get away with it, but it damaged my sense of control over the whole interaction, and my confidence.
Author:  Rye Lee [ Fri Jun 26, 2009 5:57 am ]
Post subject: 
Instead of doing it yourself, hand her your phone after you have opened it to the enter new contact page and tell her to enter her full name, or something you can remember her by and then just call her that. Even if she doesn't enter her name and she just enters something silly, you can make that into a nickname and by making her associate the nickname to herself using NLP techniques you can use the nickname just as effectively as her real one, sometimes more.
Author:  [Vegas] [ Fri Jun 26, 2009 7:35 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Instead of doing it yourself, hand her your phone after you have opened it to the enter new contact page and tell her to enter her full name, or something you can remember her by and then just call her that.
That's usually how it works itself out for me. I hand out my phone to her about chest level and somewhat close (not like that you perverts :lol: ) and make eye contact and smile and say "Here, throw in your digits" followed by whatever reason her and I had just talked about or because I'm closing.

I think it works out for me because it's done in a dominant manner. It really leaves little room for her to question it. She sees it like "oh, okay... well there's the phone and I was told to enter my number" and so it's done.
Author:  Pepsi [ Sat Jun 27, 2009 4:46 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I agree with Pepsi.
-If you forget, just like Pepsi said, just say it. Remember it's not what you say but how you say it. I often just say, plain and simple, "what was you're name again?" Don't be apologetic or nervous, because that will only make the HB feel worse. Just have a strong frame, convey non-verbally that you're interested and be plain about it. She will understand that you're sincere and that everyone forgets names. Big deal.
Sometimes just to make the girl gasp I'll say "Wait, what's your name again?" with a smile. Then the girl will smile, playfully hit me then I can grab her be like "No, no NOW I remember your name" and play a little game with her. Most girls really don't care.
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