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Qualifying
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=25&t=44794		 Page 1 of 2
Author:  PUAdave [ Fri May 08, 2009 6:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Qualifying
The routine I use mostly is the common community one...

"so you're very pretty, but there are lots of pretty girls. What else have you got going for you that would make me want to know you?"

In my experience it falls flat much of the time because the girls are caught off guard & many really don't know what to say or perhaps don't want to turn into a salesman. I was wondering if there is a slightly more toned down version or how some of the rest of you guys go about qualifying. Do you just ask simple questions or do you just skip it all together as it should be implyed & go into comfort & # close. I have got by it with out at least technically knowing I'm doing it, but I'm looking to increase my success rates.
Author:  870 [ Fri May 08, 2009 7:05 pm ]
Post subject: 
In my opinion trying to force a qualification like that is just another form of rapport-seeking, and I don't like how it puts the girl on the spot. Honestly, how many times has somebody asked you a simple question to which you knew the answer right up until the second they asked?

I find it far more useful to make statements without following them up with questions. For example:

*looking around the room* "Man, it really drives me crazy. I meet soo many women where I'm like ... 'it sure is a pretty house, too bad nobody's home!' I don't think I'd know what to do with myself if I met a girl who was cute and smart."

"Yaknow, everybody likes to talk about being in charge of their lives and doing what they want to do, but when it comes down to it most people just don't have the guts to go after what they really want."

Or my personal favorite, the flake destroyer:

YOU: "I have really high standards for the people I allow in my life."
HER: "What do you mean?"
YOU: "Well, for example, if a girl I'm interested in ever flaked on me, I probably wouldn't ever take her seriously."

The key to all of these is that you're not asking her to qualify herself, you're just talking about your preferences and life experiences, and it just so happens that the structure of the sentence is such that it presents her with an opportunity to qualify.

Hope this helps.

Your boy,
870
Author:  PUAdave [ Fri May 08, 2009 7:50 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thanks 870. Good points. I don't like that qualifying routine but the thing I do like about it is the intent that is shown in that SPAM, as that's my sticking point. It's easier to say & transition when you open opening indirect & situational, which I have gotten pretty good at & getting into good conversations. Going from being the fun social guy to the seducer is where I am stalling with the women I really want.

With HB7’s or less, they give lots of IOI’s that make it easy to ask for a number & move forward on them as they are basically jumping me. With 8-10’s they don’t give as man IOI’s where I feel as confident qualifying & closing. Kind of get a scary approach anxiety feeling at this stage like I used to opening with those level of women.

The ones I have plowed on & used that line on to some success because when they didn’t know, I have said well you should give me your number so we can hang out & find out. Several have given me the numbers, but they eventually almost all flake. Basically I need a smooth transition with that level of women so she knows my intent & so we can get into comfort.

Got any suggestions to help this part of my game?
Author:  R.G. [ Fri May 08, 2009 8:10 pm ]
Post subject: 
Qualifying is a massive massive massive part of my game. I often do it right off the bat if you're in an environment conductive towards pickup, usually most nightgame arenas. It's great; it instantly increases your value, sets the frame of them chasing you and makes you dominant and leading. Here is an online 'field report' (not really field but whatever) which I C & P'ed from my group to help illustrate:

I don't have the time to read over this but I'm pretty sure I made her qualify right off the bat.
Author:  870 [ Fri May 08, 2009 8:18 pm ]
Post subject: 
Yes, but I don't want to derail your thread on qualifying. Check your PMs.

Your boy,
870
Author:  super natural [ Fri May 08, 2009 8:27 pm ]
Post subject: 
I want to go back to your first post for a second.

"so you're very pretty, but there are lots of pretty girls. What else have you got going for you that would make me want to know you?"

Im trying to find a link to a really good post on qualification, but I cant find it at the moment. Part of the reason this might not be working is that it sounds like this is the first qualifier you are using and this qualifier is technically a large hoop. If you go for too big of a hoop with out enough compliance or investment it will fall flat. To explain the hoops.....

Small hoops are basically of little investment and usually have a yes no response. For example "would you say your adventurous" Most of the time you will want to use a small hoop to guage her interest. If she says yes then you can go for a medium hoop.

Medium hoops are have more investment and usually qualify something more personal like her nationallity, ambition, among other characteristics. A famous meduim hoop is "what would you do if you had no chance of failure"

Lastly large hoops are the most investment and make her qualify usually her personallity like "your attractive, but whats your most attractive features thats non phyiscal"

To help this part of your game try to work them more natually into your conversations. For example Ill have a DHV story talking about how I did something fun or wild with my friends and then qualify her to see if she is adventurous. Also too if you are throwing qualifiers out and they dont bite it doesnt mean the set is over you just need to build more attraction to get to that level of investment or compliance. Lastly, you will want to make a list of things you want to actually screen the women for so they become more natural and you dont have to worry about lines.

Also for the number trouble, its very hard to get solid numbers without some sort of comfort. First saying you should give me your number gives her some sort of way to say no. Tell them she seems like she might be cool whats your number? Its a slight qualifier and there is no way to say no really.

I hope this helps....
Author:  PUAdave [ Mon May 11, 2009 3:56 am ]
Post subject: 
Thanks super natural. I think you are correct. It is to much to soon.

Interestingly last night I had a great interaction & came up with a pretty natural qualifier I think. Basically I had a really long & interesting conversation. As she was leaving to go to the bathroom I was like...

"you know I have dozens of conversations at the bar every week, most are pretty boring conversations about nothing, but I really have enjoyed talking to you"

I wanted to make sure she came back, & I think it went over really well & honestly I genuienly did & it was the truth. For future fun conversations I will certainly use that again.
Author:  Jaybot [ Mon May 11, 2009 11:13 am ]
Post subject: 
I use this quite often to break rapport kinda like a push pull type dealio. So before it I will start building rapport drop this then can naturally show interest etc.

This said it is annoying how many attractive women I have written off recently because they have nothing going for them other than looks. I mean they are perfect for ONSs but meh they still annoy me.
Author:  Lion Cub [ Tue May 12, 2009 3:55 pm ]
Post subject: 
super natural, that is an awesome explanation of HOOP THEORY!!!

---------

"you know I have dozens of conversations at the bar every week, most are pretty boring conversations about nothing, but I really have enjoyed talking to you"

"This said it is annoying how many attractive women I have written off recently because they have nothing going for them other than looks. I mean they are perfect for ONSs but meh they still annoy me."

THESE TWO ARE AWESOME. I WILL DEFINITELY USE THEM MYSELF IN THE FUTURE!!!! I'm gonna give all three of you rep points over the next couple of days because It can't be done in one go. PM me if I forget.
Author:  PUAdave [ Tue May 12, 2009 6:42 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
"This said it is annoying how many attractive women I have written off recently because they have nothing going for them other than looks. I mean they are perfect for ONSs but meh they still annoy me."
What I found this weekend specificly paying more attention to this subject after this post, is that you probably qualify in a lot of of ways without being aware of it. or without planned lines when you get in natural unforced conversations where the girl is really interested.

This line made me recall another qualifier I also used with that same girl made up on the spot, kind of unknowingly & just now remembered it. Probably something I will also used again if the situation is suitable. (IE girl not in college)

I've graduated & she had as well (she was 24 years old). We were talking about her sister who she was visiting being in school & how being in college & out in the real world was totally different.

I said that I had dated girls from ages 20-36(which is true) in the last year & that I was looking for someone out of school because the 20 year olds just didn't get it & weren't really on my level & wouldn't be fun for anything but a little fun & how I was ready to get past that & meet someone on my level I could have it all with.

Obviously not something you want to used on a college chick unless you say it & then say "but you seem more mature than your typical 20 year old"
Author:  super natural [ Wed May 13, 2009 10:22 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thanks!
Quote:
super natural, that is an awesome explanation of HOOP THEORY!!!

---------

"you know I have dozens of conversations at the bar every week, most are pretty boring conversations about nothing, but I really have enjoyed talking to you"

"This said it is annoying how many attractive women I have written off recently because they have nothing going for them other than looks. I mean they are perfect for ONSs but meh they still annoy me."

THESE TWO ARE AWESOME. I WILL DEFINITELY USE THEM MYSELF IN THE FUTURE!!!! I'm gonna give all three of you rep points over the next couple of days because It can't be done in one go. PM me if I forget.
Author:  Lemarc [ Wed Jun 24, 2009 10:30 am ]
Post subject: 
"This said it is annoying how many attractive women I have written off recently because they have nothing going for them other than looks. I mean they are perfect for ONSs but meh they still annoy me."

I like it but is the "meh" a word or simply a sound spelled out haha
Author:  tutankamon [ Thu Jun 25, 2009 8:51 pm ]
Post subject: 
I do the qualifying part every single time, but I skip a few lines and go directly to sex.

me: what do you think is the most important thing in a relationship?
her: Mutual understanding, good feeling......
me: what about sex? I had a relationship for 6 years. Everything was great, she was on my intellectual level, very kind-hearted, fun....everything was perfect.....but sex was just soso....and i found out soso is not enought as I want to have great sex with the woman even after 20 years. And so we broke up because of boring sex.
I also like confident women who know who they are. And if you do not know who you are and you do not know your body, you will never enjoy sex in a way I do :)
And you´ll also make it too difficult for me to please you. If you do not know the buttons i am supposed to push, then how should I? :):):)

What it does it not only puts her into qualifying mode, but it also tells her that I am not gonna stick around for too long and she better f me as soon as possible if we are ever going to to anywhere ...lol

Some girls are put of by this attitude.....but then....maybe they do not qualify :)
Author:  Lemarc [ Fri Jun 26, 2009 1:22 am ]
Post subject: 
tutankamon that was nicely said. I actually never really focused much on my qualifier and never really cared about which kind of hoop she jumped thru. But if you think about it every form of communication has those hoops as you start to build rapport and comfort the hoops increase and maybe since I never put too much focus with this in my game that in fact it was actually indeed a sticking point under my nose the whole time. That if you use qualifiers periodically the more she's open to u inside and out because she'll be willing to show u she's this and that and ALL women are happy once they prove you wrong hahaha.

LIke in my days before the game I would build lots of comfort and sexual tension with women and tease them saying they couldn't get me to orgasm during sex cause I have some freakish kind of stamina and only certain girls can make me orgasm(The ones i truly like). From there they would be so eager to wanna fuck just to prove me wrong because in their head they're thinking.. hmm.. I'm pretty? the last guy I slept with had the time of his life? Maybe Sparks is that sexually experienced that he gets bored with women fast or maybe he just hasn't met someone worth while? I definitely can prove him wrong! they love the challenge and intrigue.

afterwards u make them feel as if they've landed on the moon, like they accomplished such a big feat
Author:  tutankamon [ Fri Jun 26, 2009 10:10 am ]
Post subject: 
right sprks.

so add to my qualifuing ¨trick¨ after mentioning the buttons....

......and i am so bored with women who don´t know what they want and who do not know how to enjoy sex....that i just can´t go with a girl just cause she is beautiful. (condidering my target is beautiful) :)
so,do you think you know who you are and do you think you know your body?
Really? so tell me what do you like in sex....:) :) :) ............

and we are on a good way me thinks :)
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