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Going out with no expectations!
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Author:  Korruptx [ Fri May 01, 2009 1:52 pm ]
Post subject:  Going out with no expectations!
I'm so confused now.

The last 5 times I've been out I've got 4 phone numbers, one kiss close and one f-close, all because I didn't go out aiming to pick up a woman, I litteraly went out just to enjoy the evening.

I didn't even treat these women well, I didn't pay them attention to any great degree, I was just so wrapped up in funny conversations and having fun that they just seemed to drift towards me.

Is ignoring women as powerful to me as it seems now? its conter-intuitive but it seems to be working. Anyone who can sympathise with this struggle to understand? Cheers
Author:  Wolfus [ Fri May 01, 2009 2:14 pm ]
Post subject: 
I had a similar experience when I had my first proper long term relationship. I'd been having pretty good success with girls, getting results, but then all of a sudden, without obvious reason, things seemed to dip.

After a couple of weeks with sub-par game I finally thought "Fuck it, there's more to life than girls".

And literally, no sooner had I thought it, a confident girl strolls up me and I end up in my first proper long term relationship.

What had happened in my case, was i'd begun focusing too heavily on girls/sex/relationships etc. and started becoming slightly needy.

As soon as I thought "Fuck it", not only did I reallocate my attention and remove the neediness that was detrimental to my game. But also changed my state. I was more at peace with myself, and I felt more expressive and carefree.

Though turns out, inner peace, and freedom of expression are massive DHV's. And ended up solving the very problem i'd given up on.

Seems like our subconscious is always working on things, even when it tricks us into giving up :wink:
Author:  kanaansea [ Fri May 01, 2009 2:15 pm ]
Post subject: 
This is a great topic! I think it's something that many men have noticed and become confused by. The mere fact you went out just to enjoy yourself is what made it happen! When you're not worrying about picking up, gaming and trying to get laid sometimes the best in you can come out. Now, if you can mix the two perfectly, game and natural personality, you'll be golden obviously. I'm sure those nights you went out with your mates exuding a great deal of confidence and a contagious fun loving personality. I don't know if it's that you didn't treat them well, I would venture to guess that it just wasn't foremost on your mind! When you seem like you embody your own sense of self and you can be your own man - women find that sexy and attractive. I would say that you didn't ignore her per se, I would say that you just lit up the room and were more luminescent than normal when you're worrying about working a girl. Push-Pull (kind of ignoring) works wonderfully. Ignoring, I feel, isn't always the best approach especially when you're that early in the game. Overall, I would say your push-pull is working well, but moreso it is your confidence and personality you've been exuding your past few nights out! Good work!
Author:  kasabi [ Fri May 01, 2009 3:55 pm ]
Post subject: 
What's there to be confused about? It's working. . . roll with it.
Author:  Jewness [ Fri May 01, 2009 4:31 pm ]
Post subject: 
This is a realization I came across awhile ago.

Going out with the goal to get laid or pick up women is not the correct mindframe. Getting laid is NOT a goal. It is a result or outcome. The goal is to actually go out and enjoy yourself. Have a good time. Getting laid is the result that can and will happen when your enjoying yourself. Women pick up on this and will gravitate to you.
Author:  kasabi [ Fri May 01, 2009 6:41 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
This is a realization I came across awhile ago.

Going out with the goal to get laid or pick up women is not the correct mindframe. Getting laid is NOT a goal. It is a result or outcome. The goal is to actually go out and enjoy yourself. Have a good time. Getting laid is the result that can and will happen when your enjoying yourself. Women pick up on this and will gravitate to you.
This works for some people yes . . . But . . .

Apple didn't set its goals on having a good time and come up with the Ipod. The goal of the Olympic athlete isn't to have a "good time".

By definition, the goal is what comes after executing your tasks. For most of you . . . this is to get laid.

The problems rises when kids confuse their goals with their strategy and their tasks. Most don't even know the difference. We ALL do this for everyday mundane things . . . and executives of big corporations are obviously excel at it but I have no clue as to why even the best strategist just lose it when it comes to women.

If you want to eat pizza.(This is your goal) You're going to have to set some sort of strategy. (Stay in? Go out? Choose best flavor? Best price? Convenience?) Then you exectute your tasks in order (Call your buddy. Drive your car. Walk into the store. Take a look at the menu . . . etc . . . ) AND we do this without even consciously thinking about it.

Looking to get laid is no different. You need to simply follow the steps that are required. Have fun with it. . . .And if you've figured out that you can do these things without consciously thinking about it. Then PERFECT. Just roll with it. Most people can't do this.

If having fun and enjoying yourself leads to getting laid, then Disney World tickets would come with free condoms.
Author:  swish11 [ Fri May 01, 2009 7:28 pm ]
Post subject: 
I like to go out and have a great time, it just so happens fucking at the end of the night is a great time. I like to go out to get laid, if it doesn't happen I tried and need some improvement, after a while it just seems natural and you have no reason combining having a great time with picking up some extra baggage.
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