PUA Forum :: I'm just gonna spill my guts

No, I don't have "one-itis"

If I play push-pull, she just pushes back and gives me a taste of my own medicine

Only one or 2 negs have ever phased her.

The main problems are I got partially paralyzed in a car accident which makes it hard

bigger problem is her perception of me

She was my friend's gf for over 3 years so she knows me and though we didn't get to know each other like that until they broke up but she still sees me as just Dave, not a potential boyfriend

her looks are killer but she and I just relate on that level that I don't with anyone else

nail another chick and see if you still feel the same. if you don't then you can just move on, and if you do then at least you have DHV'd. hell, you might even make her realize her feelings towards you!

you could trying being real with her and try something new
Like i cant be around you anymore beiong friend isnt going to cut it and i need to put you behind me and move on its a suggestion not recommending
But ive noticed ure Problem ( FEAR OF LOSS)
the woman you're reffering is just a human being notice how you let you're guar down and now you're in the hot seat i would Recommend Acting/while being real
Use some david D angelo stuff Let go of the inner wuss

Madals, Every post I read from you I respect you even more. Good stuff buddy.

My input is that you've definitely got some limiting beliefs that are holding you back. 'I'm not good enough' Whether that's a result of your accident or because of some belief you've created earlier in your life. That tiny little belief is holding you back from falling in love with another equally beautiful and awesome girl.

I think you're also holding on to this girl for the reason that you have at least something with her. You haven't got it all, (LTR) but you're brain has played a dirty trick on you and made you think you're halfway there, feeding you the philosophy of 'just keep going the way you're going and you'll get there' Unfortunately this is not the case, and the only possible way out I can see, is that you get away from this girl and develop yourself.

When you can let go of the little belief, 'you're not good enough' it's incredibly relieving and empowering. It greats a powerful state of mind in which you can accomplish so much - Anything! My suggestion would be to check out the web for a Life Coach and organize to have fortnightly or even weekly sessions with them. They'll guide you conversationally through you're limiting beliefs and teach you alot about yourself.

And when you get down to the core of your problems you'll be able to build a strong foundation of Core Confidence which, because you're mindset will have completely changed, lead you into fantastic new relationships!

Just realized how much I've written - just seems to spurt out when we're on limiting beliefs.

No harm in trying a life coach out.

LoveJunkie,

I think you're also holding on to this girl for the reason that you have at least something with her. You haven't got it all, (LTR)

Author:	Constantine00 [ Wed Apr 08, 2009 12:51 pm ]
Post subject:	I'm just gonna spill my guts
I've asked questions related to this several times and have gotten very few responses but fuck it; gotta get it off my chest. I can go try and sarge all day if I want but I don't really care anymore because I'm in love with this girl. No, I don't have "one-itis", this girl's my best friend and a perfect 10 (her biggest problem is she knows it) but I'm stuck in the friend zone and nothing works on this one. If I play push-pull, she just pushes back and gives me a taste of my own medicine. Only one or 2 negs have ever phased her. The main problems are I got partially paralyzed in a car accident which makes it hard enough to begin with (yeah, I know all about Sean Stevenson) but I think the bigger problem is her perception of me. She was my friend's gf for over 3 years so she knows me and though we didn't get to know each other like that until they broke up but she still sees me as just Dave, not a potential boyfriend I guess but then sometimes she does stuff that only a gf would do... and the thing is yeah, her looks are killer but she and I just relate on that level that I don't with anyone else. I trust her more than anyone on earth. I just can't get this one out of my head. I'm thinking there's gotta be a way cause there's definitely a will. I don't know

Author:	madals [ Wed Apr 08, 2009 1:11 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: No, I don't have "one-itis" yes, you do have oneitis. Quote: If I play push-pull, she just pushes back and gives me a taste of my own medicine and let me guess, you give in first because your afriad if you push to far you will lose her Quote: Only one or 2 negs have ever phased her. Don't neg Quote: The main problems are I got partially paralyzed in a car accident which makes it hard Get over yourself, stop using this shit as an excuse. Flame me all you want but read this: sarging-without-stairs-vt31690.html?hig ... ing+stairs Quote: bigger problem is her perception of me You have identified the problem here. There is one person who can change her perception and that is you Quote: She was my friend's gf for over 3 years so she knows me and though we didn't get to know each other like that until they broke up but she still sees me as just Dave, not a potential boyfriend Thats because you are happily in the friends zone, unless you do something to show her your a different man to the last 3 years guess what, your going to stay there. Quote: her looks are killer but she and I just relate on that level that I don't with anyone else Get a grip, yes she is probably very nice and I dont endorse not going after women you really like but seriously, you acting so wierd by acting like your in love with her when she isn't in love with you. How many other women are you currently seeing? You need to make yourself sexually attractive to her since that's all that's missing from the relationship. You have the trust etc but she has no ATTRACTION to you. If your a MM junky then you have comfort but no attraction.

Author:	R.G. [ Wed Apr 08, 2009 1:57 pm ]
Post subject:
Yeah, totally agree with Madals. The old NLP axiom comes to mind - to paraphrase: 'If what you're currently doing isn't working, DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT!" Good luck buddy. 9's and 10's can become a real thorn in the side...

Author:	Hutti [ Sat Apr 18, 2009 4:54 pm ]
Post subject:
I also agree with Madals. Building attraction with her however will totally depend on how close friends you guys are... and by that I actually don't mean how close you feel she is to you but how close she feels you are to her. I think that you have to act very differently whether she sees you just as her best guy friend, or just genuinely as THE best friend i.e. better than any of her girl-friends and that you would be the person to call in emergencies etc... if it is the second kind than you are 75% there because she already loves you anyways, it just hasn't crossed over to the sexual part yet, but it's easier to make it happen. If it is the first kind then there is a lot more work involved, because you basically still need to get to the above everything best friend stage. Since she trust you already, be observant, figure out which things would really leave a great impression and do exactly those. Just in case this isn't clear though... going from friend zone to relationship tends to end in serious LTRs. So make sure you want that before you do it.

Author:	Constantine00 [ Sat Apr 18, 2009 5:28 pm ]
Post subject:
She is MY best friend, I would be just her best GUY friend I guess so I'm not 75% there I guess but yes, there is no woman on earth I would want to be with. I'm in love with her and I want a serious LTR with her...I just need to know how to make it happen

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Author:	Jaybot [ Sat Apr 18, 2009 7:08 pm ]
Post subject:
Why don't you just game her, I have a distinct feeling you have never made a definite attempt to nail her. Sounds a lot like you are thinking in months and years you need to be thinking in hours. Make a definite move on her, or meet other women, I used to think it was bullshit but in the past week I have found 2 girls which are gf material (they aren't as magical and rare as they seem).

Author:	Ryuuku [ Sat Apr 18, 2009 8:40 pm ]
Post subject:
nail another chick and see if you still feel the same. if you don't then you can just move on, and if you do then at least you have DHV'd. hell, you might even make her realize her feelings towards you!

Author:	Constantine00 [ Sat Apr 18, 2009 10:08 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: nail another chick and see if you still feel the same. if you don't then you can just move on, and if you do then at least you have DHV'd. hell, you might even make her realize her feelings towards you! Na, I've never actually tried to game her real hard in fact my friend says I act like a girl around her. I've never had a girl "friend" that didn't have to rape me in order for me to fuck her or that I was fuckin anyway so i don't know how to act with her...I could fuck another girl (I have she doesn't know) but it wont make me love her any less; she really is IT

Author:	half_natural [ Sun Apr 19, 2009 7:23 pm ]
Post subject:
Just send this thread to her.

Author:	Manda Chuva [ Sun Apr 19, 2009 11:03 pm ]
Post subject:
you could trying being real with her and try something new Like i cant be around you anymore beiong friend isnt going to cut it and i need to put you behind me and move on its a suggestion not recommending But ive noticed ure Problem ( FEAR OF LOSS) the woman you're reffering is just a human being notice how you let you're guar down and now you're in the hot seat i would Recommend Acting/while being real Use some david D angelo stuff Let go of the inner wuss

Author:	Constantine00 [ Mon Apr 20, 2009 6:03 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: you could trying being real with her and try something new Like i cant be around you anymore beiong friend isnt going to cut it and i need to put you behind me and move on its a suggestion not recommending But ive noticed ure Problem ( FEAR OF LOSS) the woman you're reffering is just a human being notice how you let you're guar down and now you're in the hot seat i would Recommend Acting/while being real Use some david D angelo stuff Let go of the inner wuss you may actually be onto something kind of like "if you love someone set them free, if they come back to you they are yours, if not it wasn't meant to be"...I do need to try something new because what I've been doing is never going to get me with her. Her perception of me needs to change and she needs to let go of my friend her xbf she was with for 3+ yrs. She clearly means more to me than I do to her so maybe I do need to do something to make her realize that I mean a lot to her or she may just realize I mean nothing to her at which point I guess I'll have to get over it...

Author:	~L.J~ [ Mon Apr 20, 2009 12:14 pm ]
Post subject:
Madals, Every post I read from you I respect you even more. Good stuff buddy. My input is that you've definitely got some limiting beliefs that are holding you back. 'I'm not good enough' Whether that's a result of your accident or because of some belief you've created earlier in your life. That tiny little belief is holding you back from falling in love with another equally beautiful and awesome girl. I think you're also holding on to this girl for the reason that you have at least something with her. You haven't got it all, (LTR) but you're brain has played a dirty trick on you and made you think you're halfway there, feeding you the philosophy of 'just keep going the way you're going and you'll get there' Unfortunately this is not the case, and the only possible way out I can see, is that you get away from this girl and develop yourself. When you can let go of the little belief, 'you're not good enough' it's incredibly relieving and empowering. It greats a powerful state of mind in which you can accomplish so much - Anything! My suggestion would be to check out the web for a Life Coach and organize to have fortnightly or even weekly sessions with them. They'll guide you conversationally through you're limiting beliefs and teach you alot about yourself. And when you get down to the core of your problems you'll be able to build a strong foundation of Core Confidence which, because you're mindset will have completely changed, lead you into fantastic new relationships! Just realized how much I've written - just seems to spurt out when we're on limiting beliefs. No harm in trying a life coach out. LoveJunkie,

Author:	Constantine00 [ Mon Apr 20, 2009 8:33 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Madals, Every post I read from you I respect you even more. Good stuff buddy. My input is that you've definitely got some limiting beliefs that are holding you back. 'I'm not good enough' Whether that's a result of your accident or because of some belief you've created earlier in your life. That tiny little belief is holding you back from falling in love with another equally beautiful and awesome girl. I think you're also holding on to this girl for the reason that you have at least something with her. You haven't got it all, (LTR) but you're brain has played a dirty trick on you and made you think you're halfway there, feeding you the philosophy of 'just keep going the way you're going and you'll get there' Unfortunately this is not the case, and the only possible way out I can see, is that you get away from this girl and develop yourself. When you can let go of the little belief, 'you're not good enough' it's incredibly relieving and empowering. It greats a powerful state of mind in which you can accomplish so much - Anything! My suggestion would be to check out the web for a Life Coach and organize to have fortnightly or even weekly sessions with them. They'll guide you conversationally through you're limiting beliefs and teach you alot about yourself. And when you get down to the core of your problems you'll be able to build a strong foundation of Core Confidence which, because you're mindset will have completely changed, lead you into fantastic new relationships! Just realized how much I've written - just seems to spurt out when we're on limiting beliefs. No harm in trying a life coach out. LoveJunkie, What I have with this particular woman is a relationship that is based on trust, reciprocity, and a very good friendship. The only thing that is missing is a reciprical sexual attraction and I'm not sure if that is even it. She has to be a little attracted to me, most girls are and she's said I'm cute several times. I do feel less than this girl but its her perception of ME that needs to be altered in order for me to have a healthy LTR with her. I need to learn how to alter that perception and I agree, I need to do something different because I won't get anywhere like this...so what do I do to change her perception of me?????

Author:	Bonita [ Tue Apr 21, 2009 1:23 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: I think you're also holding on to this girl for the reason that you have at least something with her. You haven't got it all, (LTR) Maybe you are referring to something else so my comment may not reflect what you are trying to say, but they say anytime you have over 70% compatibility with someone then that is a good match. So holding onto this girl isn't a bad thing....finding someone that you are highly compatible with can be very difficult. I just wrote a thread about this actually. Highly attractive/socially desired women know that they are desired and thus are more choosy with whom they date. They don't realize that a 70% match is really good...they try and hold out for something better. However, this hurts them in the long run because they turn down all the high-value guys. So yeah she may be passing up something good, but it isn't all on her shoulders....you have to give her a reason not let you get away.

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Author:	madals [ Tue Apr 21, 2009 9:36 am ]
Post subject:
How to change her perception of you? CHANGE YOUR PERCEPTION OF YOU! When i read this post all I see from you is: "she is perfect" "I'm not good enough" "I REALLY WANT HER" "she doesnt really want me sexually" "Tell me how to do it with magic words" "She is different, she is special" 1) she is not perfect. She might be very very good, but she ISN'T perfect. There are thousands of other women who would seem as good if not better if you got to know them. If you really want a LTR with her, you need to be prepared to lose her. No risk no reward. 2) Stop thinking for whatever reason you should be getting her. Your assuming you have to impress her doing something amazing. What has she done to impress you? Make her compete for your time, make her realise you are in high demand and if she wants some of you then she is going to have to fight for it! 3) Start looking at how much you actually want her. if you didn't get a LTR with her how would you feel? Jump off a cliff sad (if so see a professional psychiatrist) or eat a load of ice-cream and cry yourself to sleep until you realised there were more women. You have to realise not getting her isn't the end of the world, you have survived just fine all this time without dating her. 4) Your friends, congratulations you have all this trust and whatnot. This will not get you a LTR! When you start trying to do that she is thinking just the same as you are (do I want to risk it). Guess what, she is perfectly happy having you as a friend, so why the hell would she risk losing that unless you make the moves so she has to? One of you has to grow a pair and make things happen.... and it isn't going to be her! 5) You have to realise there is no easy way to do this. It will suck, there will probably be fights, moments you think you will never speak again and amazing make up sex. Nobody here can be there with you telling you exactly what to do. There are no magic lines to get this. Think of it this way: two people are having a race. One starts walking and the other starts thinking about a way to move faster. The walking one might be slower and harder, but he is making progress. Ever second the other guy spends thinking, the faster he will have to go to catch up. Are you moving towards your goal or are you sitting looking for an "easy" way to get there? If your waiting (which i think you are) then do you really think this women will want to be with a guy who is afraid to put some effort into what he wants and only wants to do whats easy, not whats best? I dont think she will. If I sounded mean to you in this post, it was not my intent. Some of the things I said are morally questionable, are you willing to do that? Only you can change her perception of you. Stop acting like the friend and start acting like the HIGH VALUE GUY she wants to date.