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Being an alpha male
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Author:  Jaybot [ Fri Apr 03, 2009 11:28 am ]
Post subject:  Being an alpha male
Firstly I'm gonna have to thank Tony_T for getting me to look at this stuff. Anyways, I have seen lots of threads lately which seem to have a misguided view of what an alpha male is, more of a jock male. Each to their own but I don't think that is the best way to be and we are here to better ourselves.

As I mentioned in another thread I think there are two main components (as with game), inner alpha and outer alpha.
Outer alpha is body language, being the centre of attention, having people around you etc basically it is anything that conveys you are alpha to anyone who sees you at a distance.

Then there is Inner alpha, this is the ability to show weakness, be polite and kind, not be controlled by emotions, in essence to be a man and not a hollow version of Tyler Durden (fight club not pua).

So in the spirit of this, what do you think makes a man a man and what makes a man alpha?

Personally I think it is being a leader but not through any sort of aggression or having to show you are alpha. I also think it is being man enough to admit/show emotion, without being consumed by it.
Kinda like the rich person theory, if someone is rich they don't talk about it or try to convey it.
Author:  Ezo [ Fri Apr 03, 2009 12:07 pm ]
Post subject: 
Great post Jaybot, I support you opinion on this. So many people misunderstand this concept. I think it is a matter of development, you start off as beta, go on to playing alpha, faking alpha and then go on to become alpha for real. In the end you can accept some beta behaviour because you are beyond the shadow of a doubt the alpha male.
Author:  Sexcellent [ Fri Apr 03, 2009 4:09 pm ]
Post subject: 
if what you are saying is that sometimes an alpha frame is so strong that even acting a lil beta won't effect it, then i definately agree. but i don't agree that when someone acts beta, they can still really be acting alpha.

i think it's important to draw the distinction between alpha and beta behavior. nontheless, i'm finding that the more you get to know a girl, the more BALANCE breeds success.
Author:  expat_of_love [ Fri Apr 03, 2009 10:48 pm ]
Post subject: 
Most posters on here are still kids in American high schools. That means that a football stud or some tv character will be their idea of the ultimate guy. So, don't sweat it.

The fact of the matter is that we all should spend our time on what is on the inside. The outside world is total bullshit. When some of you get older you will see what I mean. The outside world is nothing more than a circus of clowns performing silly tricks for each other. It is the greatest thing if you understand that. You can enjoy watching the show and not get too emotionally tied to it.

Attracting others comes not from trying to attract others. It just happens when you are comfortable with yourself. That comes from looking inwards. I continue to stress the importance of spending as much time as you can alone with yourself. Spend a year with no parties, not females, no activities that involve so called friends. Just focus on finding out your real self. You will learn that you don't need others to feel good. You will stop comparing yourself to others. Competition will be fun instead of a matter of life and death. And guess what? You will become highly attractive. Only thing is it won't mean as much then.
Author:  Sexcellent [ Sat Apr 04, 2009 3:44 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Most posters on here are still kids in American high schools. That means that a football stud or some tv character will be their idea of the ultimate guy. So, don't sweat it.

The fact of the matter is that we all should spend our time on what is on the inside. The outside world is total bullshit. When some of you get older you will see what I mean. The outside world is nothing more than a circus of clowns performing silly tricks for each other. It is the greatest thing if you understand that. You can enjoy watching the show and not get too emotionally tied to it.

Attracting others comes not from trying to attract others. It just happens when you are comfortable with yourself. That comes from looking inwards. I continue to stress the importance of spending as much time as you can alone with yourself. Spend a year with no parties, not females, no activities that involve so called friends. Just focus on finding out your real self. You will learn that you don't need others to feel good. You will stop comparing yourself to others. Competition will be fun instead of a matter of life and death. And guess what? You will become highly attractive. Only thing is it won't mean as much then.
that advice is ass-backwards. inner game is great, but if you wanna neglect outer game at the expense of inner game, you are really short-changing yourself.

what sources are you using for giving this advice?
Author:  scott89 [ Sat Apr 04, 2009 4:13 pm ]
Post subject: 
I agree strongly with one thing expat has said and that is BEING COMFORTABLE WITH YOURSELF. I think a true alpha male can be himself without fear of rejection or people looking down on him, I would like to expand on this, however, by saying that an alpha male must also ENJOY being himself.

Obviously this only works in context with the traits that Jaybot has listed as outer alpha.
Author:  expat_of_love [ Sat Apr 04, 2009 5:53 pm ]
Post subject: 
Guys who react angrily to my posts are at the lowest level. When you react in anger you are the slave. How can one not agree with growing inward? When you grow from within the pleasures of the outside world are so much more intense! I will promise you one thing. NOBODY will ever make you joyous in this life. It has to come from inside of you. Focusing on the outside world will only make you angry and bitter. America is a great example of this.

Defining yourself and others is so silly. Just go out there and live. Throw to the side the silly names and grow the hell up.
Author:  Sexcellent [ Sat Apr 04, 2009 7:02 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Guys who react angrily to my posts are at the lowest level. When you react in anger you are the slave. How can one not agree with growing inward? When you grow from within the pleasures of the outside world are so much more intense! I will promise you one thing. NOBODY will ever make you joyous in this life. It has to come from inside of you. Focusing on the outside world will only make you angry and bitter. America is a great example of this.

Defining yourself and others is so silly. Just go out there and live. Throw to the side the silly names and grow the hell up.
Firstly, you made an assumption that my post was made in anger. This is not true. Sometimes people can disagree on a message without being angry at the messenger. Secondly you put some kind of value judgment on people who do react angrily. What scale are you referring to when you say they are on the "lowest level"? Thirdly, if you read my post carefully, and it wasn't very long, you would see that I do agree with growing inward. My argument was simply that your proposal to replace outergame with you utopian inner game suggestion was not a solution.

People don't come here to become one with the self, or to be enlightened withinner game or buddhist princples. They come here to become better PUAs and learn or discuss PUA concepts. I agree with you that inner game is an important concept, but I don't think it is the be all end all of PUA. Much like I wouldn't tell someone to neglect inner game, I don't think you should tell someone to neglect outer game.

You seem to have a lot of knowledge on inner game. That's awesome, we need people like you here. Inner game is an important aspect of PUA. But if you are gonna give bullshit advice to people, I am gonna call you out on it. I call you out on itn not because I want to humiliate you, but because I want people looking for advice to benefit rather than be more confused.

Peace and love brotha :)
Author:  -Achilles [ Sun Apr 05, 2009 3:57 am ]
Post subject: 
I'm currently studying the 4 aspects of an alpha male given by Mystery,

Preselected by other women
Leader of men
Protector of loved ones
Willingness to emote
..and other less important characteristics


I'm trying to go deeper than just those four sentences to undertand them better and ence convey them in a more efficient way. So far I'm studying Leader of men (Social Proof actually), and found the following

-The man for which everything start and with which everything ends.
-The man capable of establishing rapport with virtually any set of person.
-The man that, when leaving a set, takes with him half the set's energy and joy.
-The man, observed by others.
-The tribal leader of other men

I'll post as I progress here.
Author:  Lestat [ Sun Apr 05, 2009 4:49 pm ]
Post subject: 
An alpha male, in my opinion, is a guy who can be the centre of attention and enjoys it, but doesn't need to be. They enjoy hanging around with other people of value and they respect their value; they are willing to let other people lead when they want to. Most importantly they're willing to be themselves.
Author:  done [ Mon Apr 06, 2009 3:35 am ]
Post subject: 
Being a true alpha male is being a leader of men. A person who has to manage subordinates, resources and multiple responsibilities. The type of person, if he were gone, would cause the economic system to crash. He inbeds himself within associations of people instead of cliques.

I think people mistake an alpha male to being a court jester. The latter brings life to the court while being completely useless in all practical sense.

Its a bit like chess. The game is over when the king falls. Thats when youre an alpha.

But im talking in a practical sense. It doesnt really make you pickup women. It feels like most women are interested in court jesters (ie mystery), but thats okay.
Author:  kvee [ Mon Apr 06, 2009 5:07 am ]
Post subject: 
the guy who knows how to please the crowd but yet has some substance behind him/her...I've been noticing in my life a lot of fake friends (even family members) which is sad. They can talk the talk but they can't walk the walk.

I recently read a book by Victor E. Frankl, "Man's search for Meaning".... I suggest everybody read it because it is a touching story and especially if one is in to self-improvement.

Be introspective...take criticism well...never stop changing

"Life is a process not a result"

put your selves in other people's shoes, have some substance behind you

-Kvee
Author:  UndeniableSpirit [ Mon Apr 06, 2009 5:37 am ]
Post subject: 
that was sick man. much love
Author:  kasabi [ Mon Apr 06, 2009 7:32 am ]
Post subject: 
If you have to ask . . . you're beta or omega. There is no book, training, or monkey back flip trick that will make you alpha. In regards to alpha, you are or you are not. You are alpha because of WHO YOU ARE and WHAT YOU DO in life.

Few months ago, a poster suggested, "Yo mama" jokes to "amog" other males. This is totally, utterly ridiculous. Not only do these jokes make you an instant class clown, to even think that a few spoken words or some dumb ass dance moves could make you alpha is a pipe dream.

There is no such thing as "alpha" if you're in a vacuum. What expat wrote above doesn't apply AT ALL to the OP because without an social group, no "identities" can possibly exist. "Alpha" exists because there is a beta and an omega. Everybody in a group serves clear, recognizable purposes. . . and as there can be only one king, one CEO, one president . . . there can only be ONE alpha in a night club period. There can only be one alpha on one table. There can only be one alpha in a any identifiable social group.

Betas get laid all time. . . it's really not a big deal. Statistically, nearly everybody in the World is beta. However, if you're the eunuch Omega, you should work on your life a bit more.

Anyhow, no amount of "trying" to be alpha is going to get you there. Work on your lives.
Author:  David~ [ Mon Apr 06, 2009 7:51 am ]
Post subject: 
aren't we forgetting something here?
the alpha male can gauge how much he wants something, and go through the consequences to achieve it.

that falls under responsibility, initiation, and congruency.

i feel like if these three things develope within you as a person, you will get what you want, even if you are not the best cold approacher, rapport building, conversationalist out there.
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