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Dealing with existing negative impressions of you
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Author:  scott89 [ Thu Apr 02, 2009 4:28 pm ]
Post subject:  Dealing with existing negative impressions of you
If anybody wants to know the story behind how this applies to me then I'll post it but I wont bore you with any unecessary facts.

How do/would you guys deal with girls (when talking a minority i.e a separate social circle) having a bad impression of you before even knowing you when it's been brought on by somebody else?

For me I've basically just ignored the whole thing and treated them as I would any other girl and I've had little problems doing this. The difficulty, however, is that I feel it takes longer to establish any connection with these girls because you're already starting on "negative points" with them and these negative views can be reinforced by their friends which leads to them not wanting to be seen getting with "that guy".

I don't have any issues with carrying on the way I have been, 99% of the time I win people around anyway but I just feel that I shouldn't NEED to be doing this, especially when it's somebody else's doing.

Any of you guys have any experience in this area and know any faster/better ways of dealing with this? Just curious :wink:
Author:  nightrider767 [ Thu Apr 02, 2009 9:28 pm ]
Post subject: 
Hmm,,, let's see. You're saying that someone went out of their way to ruin your reputation? ANd now you're "marked".

It sound sounds like you're dealing with it the right way.

Seems like the issue is that you're sort fo upset about the whole thing. I'd move past that. Life's full of bullshit, expect that. Cop gives you a ticket when you weren't speeding? Big deal, shit happens.

I'd learn a lesson from it. The person who did this to you,,, there must have been a lead up with some signs. What did you miss? Is there a lesson there?
Author:  scott89 [ Thu Apr 02, 2009 11:22 pm ]
Post subject: 
Oh I know exactly why they did this, as for learning from it there really isn't much to learn as it really is a 'shit-happens' scenario, people change and not always for the better.

Not really been phased, the only people this person has influence over are the people I meet through them, it will get to the point soon where they run out of people to influence, I've actually gained a couple of good friends through them anyway :)

I'm almost past all this anyway (for said reasons), was just curious if there were really any better ways to deal with situations like this than I already have, for other people's benefit as well as my own.
Author:  nightrider767 [ Thu Apr 02, 2009 11:35 pm ]
Post subject: 
I'm sure there are ways of dealing with it directly. The problem you can run into, is it might look like you're trying defend yourself. Most people don't need to defend themselves and view people who need to, with suspicion. Think about it.

So just keeping it positive and letting people get to know the real you seems to work the best in those circumstances.

I've been in a situation like that before. And the weird thing is, no one is liked by everyone. So the people who never really liked the other party, really got to liking me even more. Fact is,, people who spread nasty rumors lower their own value to others. So by staying cool,,, it really made me look look like the person of higher value in the dispute.
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