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Where would your morals lay?
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Author:  scott89 [ Tue Mar 17, 2009 4:01 pm ]
Post subject:  Where would your morals lay?
I'll get straight to the point. Would you have sex with an ex knowing full well that it could trigger deep emotional attachment again? Would you take the gamble that it wont be anything more than a good time for both of you? Although it's probably best I make my own mind up it would still be interesting to see what you guys would do in my shoes :)

In context to my situation... We mutually ended the relationship about 3 weeks ago give or take because she will be moving away soon and a long distance relationship would be too much of a strain for both of us. I've been pushing this whole time to friendzone myself because I do value her as a really good person and would want to stay in touch, and before last night I think I was succeeding.

Basically I think the opportunity has presented itself for sex again and although I do want to take it I am unsure whether I should or not. If I take it I'm scared we'll end up getting emotionally attached again and although I will admit I know there's a strong chance of it happening to me I'm more worried about hurting her.
Author:  madals [ Tue Mar 17, 2009 5:06 pm ]
Post subject: 
Have you thought of explaining to her that you only see it as friends with benefits (although worded better obviously)?
Author:  Jaybot [ Tue Mar 17, 2009 9:00 pm ]
Post subject: 
I think it would be fine as long as you both knew the score
Author:  scott89 [ Tue Mar 17, 2009 9:11 pm ]
Post subject: 
Oh I think this is what the assumption would be anyway, she was the one that brought up sex in the first place, joking about her lack of it lately.

I think I might go for it anyway, will do us both good, she's pretty strong willed :lol:
Author:  madals [ Tue Mar 17, 2009 10:15 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Oh I think this is what the assumption would be anyway
There is a time and a place for assumptions, this isn't one of them in my opinion.
Author:  scott89 [ Wed Mar 18, 2009 12:42 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
Oh I think this is what the assumption would be anyway
There is a time and a place for assumptions, this isn't one of them in my opinion.
I completely understand where you are coming from there. I do want to point out that i'm not one of those idiots who's only looking to the next lay and doesn't care how they get it.

I genuinely enjoy the company of this person and when we ended the relationship it was me who brought up the idea of a long distance relationship for discussion.

I feel that if I open up, things will lean away from being fun and become slightly more serious. I would have no problems telling a girl who I didn't know exactly where she stands but I think that we know each other well enough to understand one another's thoughts without having to necessarily spell them out.

Then again, I've said it before, I DO value her a lot as a friend and it might be best to make sure she knows exactly where we're at rather than pissing away a friendship for nothing.
Author:  Xecutioner [ Wed Mar 18, 2009 5:21 am ]
Post subject: 
I believe that emotionally involved or motivated sex is the most passionate, and the quality is great. Whether or not the relationship is doomed, you both want sex, and rather from someone who has that connection. What i would give to have at least a severance fuck from some of my exes lol.

If she knows the inevitable outcome is eventual separation, I doubt she will allow herself to become much more emotionally invested than she already is. You as well.

If ya both want it, then get it. The worst that could happen is that you are both remembering each other on good terms, rather than the resentment left over from the actual breakup.
Author:  Konerak [ Wed Mar 18, 2009 8:54 pm ]
Post subject: 
Your both adults right? She want it, you want it, you go and have fun!

Offcourse if you start lying and telling you love her when you don't, that's no gamble, that's just stone-cold abusing your ex. But you're not talkin' bout that right?

Me and my ex, we had that thing for a while.. got back together after a few weeks too, had some great months after that. Nothing much to lose as long as you keep it honest man.
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