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Purity Rings
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Author:  Stallian [ Mon Mar 09, 2009 11:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Purity Rings
Im sure many guys on the forum have encountered girls with purity rings. My question is are they breakable, It seems that girls that wear them are very strict and would not have sex, but arent most girls the same and are looking for sex. What do you guys think.
Author:  ZEGlass [ Tue Mar 10, 2009 12:02 am ]
Post subject: 
I won't pretend not to have an ulterior motive. I wear a purity ring myself, so I think it's kind of sketchy that you'd ask this. My question for you is why you'd want to do this. A purity ring, in my opinion, is like a wedding ring or an engagement ring. It's a symbol of a commitment that the woman has made. Why do you want to tempt her to deviate from her commitment? Even if you succeed, there's a high probability of leaving her feeling guilty about it. How does that leave her better than you found her?
Author:  Stallian [ Tue Mar 10, 2009 12:09 am ]
Post subject: 
It looks like your trying to make me look like a bad person. Maybe using the word breakable is a little strong.That is why Im asking because, I respect the girl and she is totally awesome and weve gone out several times. So your saying unless I plan on marrying the girl I shouldnt bother being with her. Yes I want to be with her, BUt I feel sex is a part of connecting with someone. Question: DO you wear your ring and commit to it?
Author:  ZEGlass [ Tue Mar 10, 2009 12:29 am ]
Post subject: 
I wouldn't approach the matter from trying to persuade her to have sex with you. Be forthright about your desire to have sex with her, but I'd say you probably shouldn't GAME her into anything. Seduce slowly and when you stop, don't do it just to get her more excited. Actually stop. If she's going to decide to change her mind, let it be on her terms. No, that's not Game advice, but nor is it chump advice. IMO, that's the only way to be decent to her.

I wear my ring sometimes, but not always. I had it sized for my left ring finger before anybody ever told me that it's fashionable to wear a purity ring on your right ring finger or your left middle finger. It really looks like a wedding ring, which I'd prefer to avoid. When I think to wear a chain, I usually string it from the chain.

I DO stick to it. I've not had intercourse and even my experience with oral and manual sex is very limited for a 27-year-old man. I am no longer sure that I want it to mean "no sex until marriage." I still believe in the idea that "true love waits" for the right time, but I am not so sure that marriage is exclusively the right time.
Author:  Jaybot [ Tue Mar 10, 2009 1:45 am ]
Post subject: 
I see all things like these as gimmicks enforced by parents etc (I know this isn't true in all cases but meh). I have made it almost a mission of mine to game as many devout christians as possible, most don't even know why they do what they do, long story short rings, vows, gods are all pretty fluid beliefs in my experience.

Also find out what they really believe then often they will notice that they have a pretty narrow view of the world and need someone to expand it. Yes I realize what an asshole I sound like with my sweeping generalizations but in my experience this is all true and a little hint for them to question what they actually believe will go a long way/
Author:  ZEGlass [ Tue Mar 10, 2009 2:36 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
a little hint for them to question what they actually believe will go a long way/
I can't really disagree with this. I won't deny that my biggest gripe with many other Christians is dogmatic thinking. Nonetheless, I would urge sincerity in this pursuit. Encouraging a girl to exercise more critical thinking with regard to her faith and then using it as a window to get laid seems poor to me.

Obviously, as a man of faith, I consider matters of faith somewhat more important than just about anything else. So if you're going to try to persuade a girl to accept her sexuality more freely, do it sincerely. Don't try to guide a girl to become more sexual just because that's the way you want her to be.

To me, this is an area where the PUA creed to leave her better than you found her is really put to the test. Helping her find her sexuality might seem like a very noble goal to you. In this specific instance, though, I think you have to do it in a way that doesn't undermine her values or make her feel shitty about herself. That might mean accepting her frame when it comes to matters where spirituality and sexuality collide. Her spiritual frame is going to reassert itself after you leave, and you'd best leave her able to accept herself when it does.
Author:  Sun of Nothing [ Tue Mar 10, 2009 6:13 am ]
Post subject: 
I find people who need to wear trinkets in order to remind themselves of their "purity" weak, much like those who take oaths in order to remain trust worthy.

If the ring weren't there, would the girl be not as pure?

I stay away from most girls like this, not because they're celibate, but because they generally turn out (in my experiences) to be elitist bitches who fancy themselves to be cut from a higher cloth. Wait, I thought we were all equal?

And I, myself, am Catholic, although distant from the Vatican and archdiocese.

^agrees with jaybot btw
Author:  Jaybot [ Tue Mar 10, 2009 9:42 am ]
Post subject: 
Yup I think sincerity is quite important but if I like a girl, then its just another thing in the way before we can have a relationship.
Author:  ZEGlass [ Tue Mar 10, 2009 11:30 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Yup I think sincerity is quite important but if I like a girl, then its just another thing in the way before we can have a relationship.
I don't understand this attitude in general. Put less tactfully, this statement sounds like, "I want to get with her, but there are things that I intend to change about her first."

I don't see a purity ring as being on the same level as a shit test or a bitch shield or an anti-slut defense. Those, as generally described, are mechanisms applied by sexually active women as obstacles to individual men. To some people, though, the choice of whether or not to have sex in the first place is a big life decision.

Sun of Nothing, you suggest that a purity ring implies weakness, but like I said earlier, I consider it a symbol in the same frame of mind as an engagement ring. If the ring weren't there, would the girl be any less engaged? Of course not. That's ridiculous. Nonetheless, it's a symbol that many people, pickup artists included, respect.
Author:  Links [ Tue Mar 10, 2009 10:10 pm ]
Post subject: 
Having never been in this situation, I can only speculate how I'd react.
That said being an atheist, I'd struggle to come to terms with a purity ring if it was either 'pushed' upon her from a young age by parents, or as a service to God, or whoever.

Long story short, I like to develop my relationships emotionally and physically, if that's not possible due to a belief or vow she had made, it would cause issues.

I would firstly find out why she has taken the vow, then carefullyexpress my feelings about it.

If it's still a no-go 'til marriage - I've got the wrong girl.
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