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Should I freeze her out for flaking, or is it my fault?
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Author:  smartass [ Sun Feb 15, 2009 9:25 pm ]
Post subject:  Should I freeze her out for flaking, or is it my fault?
Okay, so I went on a D2 with a girl and we really hit it off. I had to cut it short because I had a test to deal with in school... But I had been planting seeds in her head saying we should get together "later in the week" afterwards... She is completely psyched at this point...

That was sunday I believe. She texts me tuesday asking when we're going to hang out again... I told her I had the test on wed, but I'd be free later in the week. She did msg me wed asking how my test was... I hadn't taken it yet and said so, but that seemed like an IOI to be interested... Thursday rolls around and I'm off school, so I send her a text around 4pm. It went like this: (my comments in brackets)

Me: Doing anything exciting?
Her: :) I'm running errands with tina and my brother
Me: Errands? yaaawn... lets meet up after dinner! ppl keep telling me about that tea n coffee place [we'd discussed going to this place before]
Her: I don't think I can today =/ i'm busy til like sunday. I have to finish my online class =( [she mentioned trying to finish this class before, and the specific day, sunday, seems like it isn't a flake per se???]
Me: No prob! Hit me up when you get bored... :-p
Her: I'm sorry! I want to see you! Just as soon as I'm done with this class
Me: Lol! Don't worry! School comes first... I had that crappy test to deal with this wk... it's totally cool :-)
Her: =)

Well, now it's sunday. I haven't talked to her since thursday. I checked her myspace and it says she's "chillin today".....which I guess means she's probably free. So........ should I text her again or hold my ground? maybe I'm overthinking this, but I don't want to seem needy. On the other hand, we've only met twice, and hung out for a few hours over the past week... I don't want it to get stale?
Author:  trackjunkie [ Sun Feb 15, 2009 10:23 pm ]
Post subject: 
i'd wait for her, sounds like she's interested
Author:  T8SIG92 [ Mon Feb 16, 2009 10:28 am ]
Post subject: 
if she doesnt try to contact you before monday afternoon, i would contact her. i dont think that would come across as needy. she may be forgetting about you because it has been since thursday. you need to talk to her monday, even if its you initiating it

and one little side note...you kind of negged yourself by saying "hit me up when you get bored"...like she wouldnt contact you unless she was really bored. she should want to contact you whether shes bored or not!

just step it up and be confident, it sounds like shes in to you but starting to forget
Author:  kasabi [ Mon Feb 16, 2009 10:56 am ]
Post subject: 
Dude,

This whole "needy" thing in my opinion, is way overblown within this community. NEEDY = calling that chick every freaking moment asking her, "Where are you? Who are you with? What are you doing? When will you come over? You told me you'd hang out?" . . .

I think more guys(within this community) make the mistake of being too "aloof" than being "needy".

Remember . . . YOU are the man. SHE is the girl. Yeah . . . girls still think it's cool for guys to initiate shit. It's cool to call first and show some interest. This is a good thing! "Hey Ms. Honor Student, I'm going to reward you for finishing that class! I'm picking you up at 6." - DONE!~ ice cream!!

There's nothing worse than stinging a girl by letting her sit around all day long waiting for your call. This is punishment. . . .but she did nothing wrong.
Author:  smartass [ Mon Feb 16, 2009 4:38 pm ]
Post subject: 
hmm... I think you guys are right. I probably should have took initiative and talked to her yesterday. I mean she did say she would be free that day... probably a pretty big hint. I'm an idiot.

actually, on the plus side, she probably thinks I'm not interested since I didn't call... lol... so it might come as a surprise today when I contact her...
Author:  smartass [ Mon Feb 16, 2009 6:19 pm ]
Post subject: 
hahaha... I was literally 30 seconds away from calling her when my phone buzzed with a text from her...hahaha!!
Author:  T8SIG92 [ Mon Feb 16, 2009 9:24 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
hahaha... I was literally 30 seconds away from calling her when my phone buzzed with a text from her...hahaha!!
and.......??
Author:  smartass [ Mon Feb 16, 2009 9:56 pm ]
Post subject: 
Possible D3 tonight...

She goes: Hey stranger!
I go into this C&F callback to mine/her nickname
she says I'm cute
I say we should do what we talked about last time.
She says "Maybe later today? :)"
I say, "I could probably swing that."
She says "Okay I'll txt u if i can :)"

? I don't know. Doesn't sound like I'm fully in control of the situation. On the other hand, she could just be lying to burn daylight so she has an excuse to see me "after dinner" when it's dark and dangerously seductive out... :D
Author:  smartass [ Tue Feb 17, 2009 2:34 am ]
Post subject: 
hahaha... 9pm and still nothing... what kind of mind fuck is she playing here? I'm so confused... she shows a lot of interest then nothing... Is she push-pulling me?

I feel like I'm in a nuclear control room in Kiev when all of a sudden there are alarms and flashing yellow and green lights... And shit, I don't speak Russian.

Somebody tell me what the hell is going on. Maybe I need a 2nd (read: female) opinion here. I don't know if I should call her out on her shitty behavior or ignore it (and her).
Author:  kasabi [ Tue Feb 17, 2009 3:30 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I feel like I'm in a nuclear control room in Kiev when all of a sudden there are alarms and flashing yellow and green lights... And shit, I don't speak Russian.
Oh man, it's your job to make HER feel this way. . .

Instead of sitting on your ass and waiting for her call, it should have been, "Cool, I'll call you at 8pm." - Done.

You let her dictate the "fun event" and its schedule. You let her dictate when she will call you. (any F'ing time she pleases)

Here's something you should keep in mind. . . Do you know why GUYS should never ask GIRLS for directions? (Because girls don't even remember where it is they are going half the time. . . But they sure are quick to complain when you get there late.)

1. She did nothing wrong. Asking a nervous little girl to be calm and collected and call you on time for a date is like asking a schizophrenic monkey to sit down for two hours to take the SAT's. So you shouldn't complain, whine, or do anything even close to that. Don't even bring it up.

2. Take control. Stop asking her for shit. Stop letting her "get away" with shit. "school comes first?" "Her errands come first?". . . wow, you must be a real bore. Dude, you dig her . . . how about demonstrating to her that you REALLY, REALLy dig her? There's nothing wrong with this! (Not to be confused with telling her, "Eh, I like you."

3. Call her up, "Hey, so I'll pick you up at __ for ______ (Whatever you had planned) If yes, good. If no, you go, "Oh, that's too bad. Alright, I'll call you next week." - Then hang the fuck up.

Don't coddle her with bullshit. Don't allow her to "release" her sexual attraction/tension towards you through meaningless chatter. Get the hell out and have fun. Meet other people. When she texts you or calls you for meaningless shit, you go, "Gotta run, chillin' out with _____ and _____ right now. later. Still on for Fri?"
Author:  smartass [ Tue Feb 17, 2009 3:52 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:

Oh man, it's your job to make HER feel this way. . .

hahaha I'm being gamed!!

You are right on the money. I need to stop being such a chicken shit and man up! I have such a problem with being decisive, it's not even funny.
Author:  kasabi [ Tue Feb 17, 2009 4:17 am ]
Post subject: 
Hey smartass,

Start owning up to your name. This girl isn't "gaming" you. She's not sitting at home asking for advice from her female pick up artists. She's just INTO you big time and she's just nervous. Get this straight, unless you get your act together and start running the show, she's going to get tired. She's going to be tired of her stagnant emotions that are going no where. She's going to be tired that this "tennis match" is a bit once sided and the ball doesn't seem to be bouncing back.

You have to FLIRT with your texts. "Yeah, what we talked about before. That sounds fun. . . " is a bore. Make her totally excited to see your next text!

Giver her a pet name now. Your very next text should begin with her pet name. Escalate . . . Doesn't this sound better? "Hey Muffins, I hear you've been naughty. Afraid you need a spanking." . . . "I'll pen you in for a Friday night appointment."
Author:  smartass [ Tue Feb 17, 2009 4:57 am ]
Post subject: 
good advice. And I already gave her a pet name. :wink:

I'll text her tomorrow morning... basically pretend today didn't happen. I think I just need to set a definitive date so she can't flake. I'll be stealing your material. ;)
Author:  smartass [ Tue Feb 17, 2009 6:31 pm ]
Post subject: 
Fail.

Her: I'm sorry! I'm not playing hard to get, things are just a little crazy for me right now. =/ don't wait around on me. I'm pretty much in a world of mess right now.

/sigh
Author:  T8SIG92 [ Tue Feb 17, 2009 8:48 pm ]
Post subject: 
i dunno, that sounds legit to me. maybe she just got out of an intense relationship. just give her time, keep gaming other girls. she might come around later, and then you will have a choice


is she even that hot anyway?
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