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Strong Female Character vs. Damsel in Distress
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Author:  RTTastic [ Thu Jan 29, 2009 9:25 am ]
Post subject:  Strong Female Character vs. Damsel in Distress
I was thinking today about personality types, about what men are looking for, and about a pattern I’ve noticed among many of my male friends. This also may be interesting to think about because it might change different methods of gaming to cater to the type of woman you want to attract.

I have many male friends, and many of them are highly attracted to strong female characters. For example: Angelina Jolie (and the characters she plays), Starbuck (from Battlestar Galactica), Hallie Barry (as Jinx in Die Another Day), Summer Glau (in the Terminator television series), and Catwoman (I’m going to go with Michelle Pheifer’s verson or the comic book version on this one). I understand this attraction, probably because I consider myself to BE one of these strong female characters. The males that I know and am friends with are attracted to the woman who can take care of herself, kick ass in a fight, if need be, or possibly he hopes to rise to the challenge of taming the shrew. It is also possible that a male who is not necessarily an alpha male may be attracted to these strong women because “opposites attract” or that they want a woman who can order them around (which would explain the rise in the dominatrix profession). It seems that only these types of women could really keep up with, match, and intellectually stimulate a true Alpha Male.

On the flip side, I also know many men that are attracted to the “Damsel in distress” type of girl. Examples of this type of character: Lucy in Across the Universe, Maid Marion in Robin Hood, Mary Jane from Spiderman, and of course all of the princesses of fairy tales. This attraction is understandable as well. The man wants to be the one to provide for the woman. He wants to be seen as a hero, strong, intelligent, cunning, and ALPHA. This attraction is built into our sociobiology, can it be helped? Are we moving away from this? Or are all men (even the ones who claim to be attracted to people like Angelina and Starbuck) secretly looking for Maid Marion to sweep off her feet and save the day?

There are, however, examples of women who fit both categories, and it may just be that these females are the ones that men are most attracted to. Think of River Tam in the series Firefly and movie Serenity, Leeloo in The Fifth Element and Pepper Potts from Iron Man. Each of these women are attractive, and fairly self-sufficient, however in the end, they still needed a little bit of saving.

So, you tell me….what do men really prefer? Do you want a Strong Female Character to keep up with you? Or are you looking for your princess to ride off into the sunset?
Author:  Plethora [ Thu Jan 29, 2009 9:54 am ]
Post subject: 
Well, those are two archetypes that I cannot necessarily associate with. Obviously they are an extreme and such flat characters do not exist in real life as they do in fables or comics. I understand what you are getting at though.

Personally, for some reason I am less attracted subconsciously with women who are personally strong and self-sufficient. When a woman expresses sexual desire and independence, if she tries to 'pick me up' or expresses noticeable interest (SOI) in me, it is an automatic turn-off. I cannot explain it but... if a woman becomes too easy for me I am just not interested. Call it what you want, but there is probably some hunter aspect in me that needs to feel like I've conquered her before I can feel aroused enough to go all the way.

I guess if I had to choose between the two unrealistic archetypes, then I would pick the damsel in distress.
Author:  Rye Lee [ Thu Jan 29, 2009 11:59 am ]
Post subject: 
I like women who are more Alpha character types aka the "strong women", but I desire some vulnerability and willingness to accept my help when it would be beneficial. I'm pretty much the same way though, I tend to be a leader and a strong personality, but if someone can give me a hand then I'll gladly accept, the fact that it's a girl I'm interested in will only make me more interested in her because she is so capable.

I find it a huge turn-off if she needs me to take care of every little thing for her and she's completely un-capable of taking care of herself which is something I see a lot in girls who jump from one boyfriend to the next and can't be alone for more than a week or two. It's also a big turn-off if she refuses my help when she knows it would benefit her because she's too stubborn and insists on handling things herself even if she can't seem to do so.

So...somewhere in the middle, but more to the strong side than the damsel side.
Author:  The Big Bad Wolf [ Thu Jan 29, 2009 2:51 pm ]
Post subject: 
The strong woman, beautiful, confident in all other areas...
Taken out of her element.

The alpha woman in distress :P


The gentle shy woman can be cute to hang around with, but I don't think I would be able to keep her for a GF... Maybe.

But the strong character, the Alpha female, who knows her direction, and lets nothing stop her.. that's something I enjoy being around.
They are generally more entertaining.

(I currently have the paradigm that the world is but a stage... as Shakespeare would have called it.
So I want to sit back and enjoy the show, remember it is just like a dream and we are basically free to do whatever we want.

So I like to spend time with women who are entertaining to be around, so I can return their favor, in bed or outside it :P )
Author:  Jaybot [ Thu Jan 29, 2009 5:12 pm ]
Post subject: 
Strong women who will stand up for what they believe in (why I always fall for veggies). As for the damsel in distress type thing, you want to be their bf or a lay not their therapist so it is easier to stay away from them.

I was listening to the pickup podcast and they were talking about how something is desirable or un-desirable so "she is perfect except...." is bad news and there are plenty of 'perfect' fish in the sea
Author:  C-Diesel [ Thu Jan 29, 2009 5:45 pm ]
Post subject: 
I think I go for the strong female in distress type! I was raised around cars so it's natural that I learned to fix them as well. Somewhere along the line I realized I like to fix everything I come across...which has it's ups and downs!

But what I've realized even more is that I go for women who are in some way unattainable...and I don't mean I can't or havn't closed women like this...I mean the ones who are in a sketchy relationship(not married though...I don't mess with those)but still attached to the guy in some way, or the ones who are getting ready to move.

Now If I'm understanding the differences in the 3 types, then I would have to say I enjoy gaming...or actually just interacting...the strong but distressed types. Usually they are stable enough not to let their shit effect your life, but they warmly welcome the offered hand!

-Crain Diesel
Author:  Artax [ Fri Jan 30, 2009 7:52 am ]
Post subject: 
I don't really know if strong is the word for it. I don't go for the wilting flower type, and I don't really like a project. I like women who are more independent, but I don't really care for women who are bordering on manly (i.e., Starbuck). I'd have to say many men will say they want strong women, because just once they'd like to find a woman who will just throw him down and screw his brains out instead of playing games. To hell with the shrew, she either has too much baggage or thinks her feces is made of gold.

If I were to point to a fictional female character I like I'd have to say Linda Hamilton as Catherine in the 1987 Beauty and the Beast TV series, or Paula Marshall as Dr. Claire Allen in the 1998 TV show Cupid. Strong, independent, able to take care of themselves, but not tomboyish at all.

Oh, and while I love the way Angelina Jolie looks there are only a few things about her personally I like, and the adopted kid thing is creepy as hell.
Author:  ConvAZN [ Fri Jan 30, 2009 11:10 am ]
Post subject: 
Personally, if a woman knows how to box, it is a HUGE turn-on for me. I completely love it when a woman not only intellectually intimidates me, but when I feel physically threatened by a member of the opposite sex as well, I swallow my cyanide pill and approach for a kamekaze mission!

I just can't help feel attracted to a woman who knows her place in the world and I just can't accept that I'm not part of it! Shallow and selfish, I know, but hey, we all have our guilty, sinful desires.
Author:  smartass [ Fri Jan 30, 2009 4:31 pm ]
Post subject: 
This seems more like the good girl/bad girl debate to me than anything else...
Author:  jurupa [ Sat Jan 31, 2009 10:23 am ]
Post subject: 
I would say I more prefer a strong woman but not one like Starbuck. As I want a girl that is still feminine. Damsel in distress girls in my opinion create way to much drama as they seem to always need to be "rescued". And such they seem to be dependent more than independent.

Quote:
This seems more like the good girl/bad girl debate to me than anything else...
I think its more bad girl/nice confident girl/nice girl. :wink:
Author:  The Doctor [ Sat Jan 31, 2009 1:36 pm ]
Post subject: 
I go for the super feminine women... it works for me as I am a super masculine man.

If she's a damsel in distress thats fine... I'm strong enough for the both of us.

If she's strong enough to take care of things on her own thats fine too... but the issue we have sometimes with these 'strong' women who often have more masculine energy is if they forget who wears the pants... I'm kind of like the lead dog on a sled team... I cant help it... do not test me for control... AKA alphaness of the relationship... something clicks like a switch in my head and you'll get smashed back down into place... There can be only one lead dog.

The women I like the most are intellegent and posses that "quite strength"... to modify and paraphrase a Jo Dee Messina song... I want a woman to stand beside me, not infront of or behind me.
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