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| About Negs https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=25&t=37051 |
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| Author: | Mr. Amador [ Wed Jan 14, 2009 5:01 pm ] |
| Post subject: | About Negs |
Just read this. It always amuses me how people talk about stuff they dont know anything about. I know that is an old article, but is still kind of funny. There are a bunch of links to the background research in the original page, so here's the link: http://freakonomics.blogs.nytimes.com/2 ... hod&st=cse ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- August 10, 2007, 2:03 pm The Science of Insulting Women By Melissa Lafsky Picking up women has been getting plenty of press these days, leading up to this week’s premiere of the VH1 reality show The Pick-Up Artist. The show follows eight “socially inept” men through an eight-week boot camp on seduction techniques, led by a self-proclaimed Lothario called “Mystery.” The headliner (whose real name is Erik Von Markovik) initially found fame after being profiled in Neil Strauss’s 2005 book The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists, and went on to co-write his own book, How to Get Beautiful Women Into Bed: The Mystery Method. Under particular discussion is a pickup technique that Mystery advocates known as “negging” — a move that involves interjecting an insult during an initial conversation with a woman. The motivation behind the insult is, as Esquire’s A.J. Jacobs puts it, to “lower her self-esteem, thus making her more vulnerable to your advances.” While this tactic has provoked considerable ire, by all accounts from Strauss and his skirt-chasing Svengali, it seems to work. Meanwhile, the psychologists Steve Stewart-Williams and William F. McKibbin have been researching the topic of men insulting women, publishing a study called “Why Do Men Insult Their Intimate Partners?” in the July Journal of Personality and Individual Differences. Their first set of data consisted of a survey of 245 men with a mean age of 25.8, all of whom had been in heterosexual relationships for a mean length of 43.1 months. Each man was asked to record how often he insulted his female partner in the course of a month, choosing from a list of 47 insults divided into four categories: “derogating physical attractiveness” (e.g. “You’re ugly”); “derogating value as partner/mental capacity” (e.g. “You make my life miserable” or “You’re stupid”); “derogating value as a person” (e.g. “You’re useless”); and “accusations of sexual infidelity.” These men were also asked to record how often they performed any of 104 acts labeled “mate retention behaviors” during that same month, including “direct guarding” (e.g., secretly following a partner when she goes out alone) and “public signals of possession.” A second set of data came from 372 women who were asked to detail the number and type of insults they received from their partners, as well as the males’ mate-retention behavior rates. The results showed that men who piled on the insults (particularly those in the “derogating value as partner/mental capacity” group) were far more likely to engage in mate retention behaviors, suggesting that “men’s partner-directed insults may be deployed as part of a broader strategy of mate retention.” Next, maybe Stewart-Williams and McKibbin will turn their attention to the relationship-initiation phase and gather data on “negging.” Or maybe they’ll tackle a question that many would surely like to know: if it’s successful for men, does it work for women as well? (Hat tip: The British Psychological Society Blog.) ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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| Author: | Jaybot [ Wed Jan 14, 2009 5:07 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
I love how the concept of negging is so misunderstood, everyone thinks it is about insults and destroying self-esteem ah well the longer the rest of the world falsely believes they have us figured out the better. |
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| Author: | Fin [ Wed Jan 14, 2009 5:52 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Quote: I love how the concept of negging is so misunderstood, everyone thinks it is about insults and destroying self-esteem ah well the longer the rest of the world falsely believes they have us figured out the better.
Well thats what a neg is.It's end is to disqualify yourself, but it's means is to insult her, and make her feel as though you don't value her. |
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| Author: | Mr. Amador [ Wed Jan 14, 2009 6:24 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Let me backwards engineer negs. I belive that negs are only damage control mechanisms, or preventive strike weapons. When you need to show deinterest you use one top get you back on "safe ground". Negs also can be used to counter the target's thought processes; She is probably thinking "This guy is hitting on me like every one else" and before that thougt gets too big you use a neg to reset that, giving you more time to build enough attraction. So its not an insult. Insults degrade the target, thats not what we need. So the best example of a neg is: "That guy in the corner; He is totally your type" |
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| Author: | Agent Whore 32 [ Wed Jan 14, 2009 6:29 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
its not meant to hurt her directly, and yes i agree the term negging is misunderstood greatly, especially because the males they used for the experiments were not PUA's first of all, and whos talking about secretly following you partner wherever she goes? Bunch of crap Either way i dont go too far with negs, in my book it is teasing, and disqualifying |
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| Author: | Fin [ Wed Jan 14, 2009 6:39 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Quote: Let me backwards engineer negs.
Let's straighten this out. Negging and teasing, two tottaly different concepts.I belive that negs are only damage control mechanisms, or preventive strike weapons. When you need to show deinterest you use one top get you back on "safe ground". Negs also can be used to counter the target's thought processes; She is probably thinking "This guy is hitting on me like every one else" and before that thougt gets too big you use a neg to reset that, giving you more time to build enough attraction. So its not an insult. Insults degrade the target, thats not what we need. So the best example of a neg is: "That guy in the corner; He is totally your type" When you neg. She has no idea that you are into her, she thinks the opposite. When you tease, I.e. "That guy in the corner *point to a clear loser*; He is totally your type" SHE KNOWS YOUR INTO HER. You are making her laugh and having fun by playing with her. She isn't an idiot, she will take that as a clear "IOI". Not hitting on her is just as unsafe ground as hitting on her. You get her to think she is not being hit on by making a comment which then makes her think. "He doesn't find me attractive, or he's above me he'll just reject me" |
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| Author: | Jaybot [ Thu Jan 15, 2009 3:26 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
I see negging as what you do to female friends, more banter than anything. however, without the basis of friendship it serves the purpose of letting her know you are not really interested/don't buy into her illusions of grandeur. |
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| Author: | Rye Lee [ Thu Jan 15, 2009 7:17 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Negs are basically insults with just enough of a compliment in them to keep the girl from getting pissed off at you. Their intent is to feel like a backhanded compliment to her and cause her to feel inferior to you in order to lower her self esteem and perceived value of herself, in turn increasing her perceived value of you. Generally they're NOT genuine and are typically overly sarcastic. Teasing is playful and a kind of flirting. Teasing should never hurt anyone's feelings or lower their self esteem or perceived value. Instead teasing often works to increase their feeling of value and cause them to enjoy being around you because you make them feel good about themselves. Teasing can be done in different ways. Sometimes teasing is an obvious lie when you say something mean in order to let her know that you actually think the opposite of what you've said which is a way of complimenting her. Sometimes teasing is sarcastic but based on a genuine compliment or criticism of something insignificant that you find cute. When it is all boiled down, negs hurt people, teasing makes people happy and have fun. |
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| Author: | callmecaptain [ Thu Jan 15, 2009 8:54 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
I think from a pragmatic perspective it may be safe to say that whether you are negging or teasing (the distinction of which appears to be gray depending on your target's perception of your meaning) if you do it with care and close attention to the social dynamics of the situation you can successfully create or at least catalyze an attraction between you and your target which might otherwise lose momentum and go flat. I would assert that the article is erroneous in that it implies negging is a tool used in long term relationships. I don't think any PUA with credibility in the field would assert that you ought to neg your girlfriend. Managing a relationship and sparking attraction are two very different things. CPT |
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| Author: | Fin [ Thu Jan 15, 2009 10:58 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Quote: I see negging as what you do to female friends, more banter than anything. however, without the basis of friendship it serves the purpose of letting her know you are not really interested/don't buy into her illusions of grandeur.
That's just teasing, if it's "banter" then it's friendly fun. And she will take it as a sign you like her.
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