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being our best selves
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Author:  Mr. Fickle [ Wed Jan 14, 2009 2:35 pm ]
Post subject:  being our best selves
Does anyone here know how to teach a young one to use the toilet? Well... it doesn't involve sticking the kid on the toilet and telling him to be his best self. Everyone insists this advice is best even though very few have actually achieved results from it. Everyone knows it sounds good on paper cmon who wouldn't endorse a method where you just wake up one morning and snap out of being afc.

Sorry dudes that's a pipedream. If your mommy stuck you in that bathroom and left ya in there the place would be covered in shit. Not just a little bit I'm talking about SHIT EVERYWHERE. So whose going to smother in their own feces and whose going to clean the place up and walk outta that bathroom depends entirelly on how quickly they can learn. oh god contradictory advice allert yep I said it ya gotta learn how to be yourself which isn't really going to be yourself at all by the end of the day.

So please quit idealizing this philosophy to everyone like its some magical afc cure. its not. tell them how to learn to drop their insecurities so they can be themselves or at least point em to a reputable guru, fuck, saying 'just be your best self' is just as good as watching a kid wallow in his own shit.
Author:  lawls [ Wed Jan 14, 2009 2:54 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: being our best selves
Quote:
Does anyone here know how to teach a young one to use the toilet? Well... it doesn't involve sticking the kid on the toilet and telling him to be his best self. Everyone insists this advice is best even though very few have actually achieved results from it. Everyone knows it sounds good on paper cmon who wouldn't endorse a method where you just wake up one morning and snap out of being afc.

Sorry dudes that's a pipedream. If your mommy stuck you in that bathroom and left ya in there the place would be covered in shit. Not just a little bit I'm talking about SHIT EVERYWHERE. So whose going to smother in their own feces and whose going to clean the place up and walk outta that bathroom depends entirelly on how quickly they can learn. oh god contradictory advice allert yep I said it ya gotta learn how to be yourself which isn't really going to be yourself at all by the end of the day.

So please quit idealizing this philosophy to everyone like its some magical afc cure. its not. tell them how to learn to drop their insecurities so they can be themselves or at least point em to a reputable guru, fuck, saying 'just be your best self' is just as good as watching a kid wallow in his own shit.

Its not an ideal philosophy, one can say it is but imo its not. "Just be your best self" is a simple phrase but it gets to the point. How you do it is by dropping your ego, insecurities, and basically doing things to improve your life- which YOU find as valuable such as delving into your passions more.

As I said last night...its not a magical cure, there is no cure. However at the same time it rings true cause you are your best self NOW, your just bringing every piece of baggage with you which essentially hinders you.
Author:  Chief [ Wed Jan 14, 2009 3:22 pm ]
Post subject: 
Telling an AFC to be his best self is like telling a white belt to win a sparring match against Goku.

Once that white belt goes through a full, rigorous training regiment after an extended period of time, telling him to win such a match will make perfect sense to him.
Author:  Fin [ Wed Jan 14, 2009 7:23 pm ]
Post subject: 
You have to learn to be yourself, more importantly to express it, and change it.

I'd wonder into where "be your best self" comes from?

PU is about the student, it is about them. Fuck the method. That's not attractive, it's who's using it. At the end of the day she wants to fuck YOU not the PU manual stuffed into your bookcase.

It's strange how as PUA's develop you'd think they would get more conciously technical, yet the opposite tends to hold truth.

Yes the experienced PUA's can break down what their doing, but in reality they are just doing it by themselves.

Example: I asked around about mehows group attration manifesto, considering buying it, only to find that alot of the main principles I was doing naturally.

Often PU's development of inner game tends to be the stripping away the anxieties and the internalisation of a few simple beliefs.

In effect being yourself is a GREAT tip for anyone. But most people don't understand it.

Example: If an AFC was being honest and being himself, free of anxieties and pressures to "do the correct thing"

He wouldn't be paying for drinks, he wouldn't give needless compliments he would do what is genuine.

Things like supplicating and holding the woman above you are really unnatural behaviours to have. They just don't make sense.

I can see where your coming, guys are going to need more than "be yourself as advice" to make them good, they need to have a wider understanding of whats happening in interactions, and they are going to need to practise this in social enviroments.

The attraction code I liked, becuase it was really a no bullshit this is how women are this is how men are, this is what you want this is what they want. Now go and talk to them.

It was a really good peice on PU yet it was strangely incredibly vague in how to go about working these factors. It gave you what you needed and let you build on that.

Could I question into what specefic kind of advice you'd offer instead? Or are you just ranting for the sake of it ;)
Author:  =Prize= [ Wed Jan 14, 2009 9:50 pm ]
Post subject: 
"Be your best self" is a valid expression that addresses a part of learning seduction.

It is a contrast to the common phrase "Just be your best self". "Be your best self" is used as a catch phrase/memory hook/master sentence when trying to help someone understand that there is nothing wrong or unnatural with consciously trying to change ourselfs long-term.

It is however not a magical pill, or something that says anything at all if it's not said in the right explanatory context.
Author:  Mr. Fickle [ Wed Jan 14, 2009 10:47 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
"Be your best self" is a valid expression that addresses a part of learning seduction.

It is a contrast to the common phrase "Just be your best self". "Be your best self" is used as a catch phrase/memory hook/master sentence when trying to help someone understand that there is nothing wrong or unnatural with consciously trying to change ourselfs long-term.

It is however not a magical pill, or something that says anything at all if it's not said in the right explanatory context.
exactly, kinda. most people say it as a beif explanation to solving a problem i cannot tell you how many times i've heard someone say something to the effect of:
afc: "oh god how do i get this girl to like me (or something)
pua: "oh just be yourself"

hence the rant
Quote:
Could I question into what specefic kind of advice you'd offer instead? Or are you just ranting for the sake of it Wink
I am compiling a list of resources that help you achieve this feat I'm still working on compiling such a list so stay tuned it'll probably be posted in a thread of its own in a couple of days.
Author:  ZEGlass [ Wed Jan 14, 2009 11:06 pm ]
Post subject: 
I haven't had many coaches yet, but none of them have ever used "be your best self" as standalone advice. The advice is always given in the context of learning pickup to better my situation. The takeaway is not that I don't need to improve but that I shouldn't improve in one direction or another just because somebody tells me to or because it's "what works." Ultimately, the methods that will be most successful for any individual PUA are the ones that over time, they'll be able to integrate naturally and organically into their own best self. For example, you'll never catch me using The Cube. It just doesn't feel like a fun routine to me. Maybe it works, but I won't become my best self by using it.
Author:  =Prize= [ Wed Jan 14, 2009 11:32 pm ]
Post subject: 
That's an interesting way to interpret that line ZEGlass. It is a different aspect than the one I've had. I'll add yours too to my thinking.
Author:  expat_of_love [ Sun Jan 18, 2009 4:50 am ]
Post subject:  Re: being our best selves
Quote:
Quote:
Does anyone here know how to teach a young one to use the toilet? Well... it doesn't involve sticking the kid on the toilet and telling him to be his best self. Everyone insists this advice is best even though very few have actually achieved results from it. Everyone knows it sounds good on paper cmon who wouldn't endorse a method where you just wake up one morning and snap out of being afc.

Sorry dudes that's a pipedream. If your mommy stuck you in that bathroom and left ya in there the place would be covered in shit. Not just a little bit I'm talking about SHIT EVERYWHERE. So whose going to smother in their own feces and whose going to clean the place up and walk outta that bathroom depends entirelly on how quickly they can learn. oh god contradictory advice allert yep I said it ya gotta learn how to be yourself which isn't really going to be yourself at all by the end of the day.

So please quit idealizing this philosophy to everyone like its some magical afc cure. its not. tell them how to learn to drop their insecurities so they can be themselves or at least point em to a reputable guru, fuck, saying 'just be your best self' is just as good as watching a kid wallow in his own shit.

Its not an ideal philosophy, one can say it is but imo its not. "Just be your best self" is a simple phrase but it gets to the point. How you do it is by dropping your ego, insecurities, and basically doing things to improve your life- which YOU find as valuable such as delving into your passions more.

As I said last night...its not a magical cure, there is no cure. However at the same time it rings true cause you are your best self NOW, your just bringing every piece of baggage with you which essentially hinders you.
HE GETS IT!!!! :D :D :D

If you are yourself you will have a life of pure bliss! You will go to bed with a smile on your face and get up with tears in your eyes from the gratitude you have for your life. I promise you that. 100% true.

Ok, the problem is that it isn't easy being you. It is the greatest challenge known to man. Requires total dedication. Requires you to be honest with yourself.

The entire PUA industry is based on playing off young boys' insecurities. I'm sorry, but it is the truth. Telling you that you have to be something that you are not. That is just wrong. If you are who you are you will actually attract people to you. You will unleash an energy that can be dangerous. Please use it wisely.

Try loving yourself. I mean REALLY LOVING YOURSELF. Loving all the unique aspects of who you are. Expose those aspects of you to the world. Scary, isn't it? Just try it. You will be shocked at the results.
Author:  Cane53 [ Sun Jan 18, 2009 5:48 pm ]
Post subject: 
i'm pretty sure it means
dont rely on canned stuff all the time

my friend told me the other day
i'm not into the game cuz its like lying to girls
i told him its not like that at all

what you are supposed to be learning is how to express your personality
in playful and socially open manner
thats what that quote is aiming for
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