PUA Forum
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/

***STOP PUTTING GIRLS ON PEDESTALS***
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=25&t=36384		 Page 1 of 2
Author:  Solomon II [ Tue Jan 06, 2009 2:21 pm ]
Post subject:  ***STOP PUTTING GIRLS ON PEDESTALS***
I don't know why I didn't see this yesterday but holy shit. I want everyone right now to look at this thread and tell me what is wrong here.

if-youve-had-a-girl-this-hot-congrats-y ... 36260.html

If you've had a girl this hot you're a master? Please tell me I'm not the only one who sees how wrong that mindset is. Someone, please, restore my faith in humanity. I don't see what's so special, do you? She's an average, attractive girl. Actually I'd say she's more cute than hot, but whatever, that's just me and it's not the point I'm making here - I'm writing this to emphasise how important it is that you stop putting girls on pedestals based on their looks.

This is why men have problems approaching the women they really want. The original poster of that thread is somehow convinced that because she is hotter than other girls she is special, and that any man who can get a girl like her is some kind of legend. If you share this sentiment, you need to get a grip and stop this kind of thinking. If a girl is attractive it doesn't mean shit... you know those girls who every guy in the club has his eyes on and sit there talking shit and making excuses for why there's no point going to talk to her? Yeah, I've been with that girl... a few of them, actually. That's not special. What was special to me was that they weren't complete bitches and had their heads up their collective arse, which is a common misconception. How attractive she is does not define her as a person and treating her as such is the whole reason most guys don't get anywhere with the girls they really want - stop putting her on a pedestal and talk to her like a human being for fuck sake. I'll say it again just to make sure you get this into your head - how hot she is doesn't mean anything, the only thing that's special as far as most guys are concerned is that she's the most attractive one in the room for some reason. And it's putting her on a pedestal like that that fucks them up.

I know the first thing you notice about a woman is her looks and how she carries herself, but for the love of god stop judging them by their looks alone... it's the reason you're scared shitless of them. She's hot - SO WHAT? She is not her looks. She's not some status symbol for you to put on your arm and you can't afford to fuck it up... you don't need to go to crazy lengths to get her so stop thinking like that. Go talk to her and see if her personality matches her looks, then make up your mind whether or not you want to take things further. If you make an immediate decision that you want to be with this girl based on her looks alone you're not gonna be yourself, and you're not gonna be real with her. You'll try to be perfect so you don't fuck things up. You'll act like a complete pussy because you don't want her to think anything negative about you. Either that or you're just not even gonna approach her.

If something is on a pedestal, you want it too much - and for the wrong reasons. Kick the fucking thing over and let her fall to earth so you can really appreciate her. You can't do that if you let her sit all the way up there.
Author:  revolver [ Tue Jan 06, 2009 4:26 pm ]
Post subject: 
By the power invested in me, I now restore your faith in humanity. :D

Seriously, great post! I couldn´t agree more. I personally only have sex with a girl if I am certain that she can give me intense sexual pleasure. And looks has absolutely nothing to do with that.

I think this is one of the better posts I´ve read lately, becouse it highlights one of the biggest mistakes that guys do. They rate girls! That can only lead to possesion mentality. Start treating them as people.
Author:  V1V [ Tue Jan 06, 2009 6:25 pm ]
Post subject: 
Of course your right again sol and its not the fact that shes only worth a squirt, it also has much to do with how easily the girl is bought. She could be the hottest girl on earth, but a complete slut. Does nailing a slut make you a master?
But the one main thing to bear in mind is that this was posted by a total noob. Give them time :P.
Author:  Solomon II [ Tue Jan 06, 2009 6:35 pm ]
Post subject: 
The sooner they learn, the better. Ironically though, the sooner such ideas are introduced, the harder it seems for them to accept.
Author:  [Vegas] [ Tue Jan 06, 2009 6:50 pm ]
Post subject: 
Could not agree with your post more, Sol. 'Pedestaling' women is what leads to AA. "Ohh, she's way to attractive for me." and that's a complete bull way of thinking.
Author:  L.H. [ Tue Jan 06, 2009 7:09 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thanks for making that clear solomon.. youre totally right..
Author:  Plethora [ Tue Jan 06, 2009 7:41 pm ]
Post subject: 
If you believe you won't get a girl because she is too hot, or you have to be a 'master' to land her, then you are absolutely right. You won't get her.
Author:  madals [ Tue Jan 06, 2009 9:21 pm ]
Post subject: 
I know what your saying, but i still think you should have a passion for the women (or men) you approach / talk with.
There is a big diference between:
- realising 1 women is amazing and you feel something special with
AND
- thinking she is BETTER than you or other people.

Personally, its only when you start to think of a women as better than you or other women you will have issues. I also think you have a problem if you can honestly say you are 100% indifferent to the outcome when you approach a girl. Because if you do honestly feel like that, would you approach?

Good post tho.

Madals

An in-depth post I made on this idea is semi-onites-vt35305.html
Author:  Solomon II [ Tue Jan 06, 2009 9:44 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
There is a big diference between:
- realising 1 women is amazing and you feel something special with
AND
- thinking she is BETTER than you or other people.
Exactly. This topic is aimed at those who fall into the latter category. Still, nomatter how special a woman is you need to be able to let her go because if she calls it quits it will drive you up the wall.
Quote:
Personally, its only when you start to think of a women as better than you or other women you will have issues.
Very well put; I agree 100% with you here.
Quote:
I also think you have a problem if you can honestly say you are 100% indifferent to the outcome when you approach a girl. Because if you do honestly feel like that, would you approach?
Of course! There's a difference between not caring if you get what you want and not caring to the point that you don't feel you have to try. The former kind of indifference makes it easy to approach because the outcome isn't important to you - you're not dependant on certain results. You'd like to have it your way, but you accept that sometimes that's just not the way it goes.

To me, only the approach is important, because her reactions and responses are out of my control for the most part. A good approach with no real outcome is still a good result in that I find out what I want to know (if she is into me or not, and if she wants to get together). We're not carved out of stone of course, even I feel the fear sometimes. If you're scared that things might not go your way it doesn't have to hold you back... if you can accept it as an inevitability and realise that it isn't personal, you are able to go ahead despite the presence of fear.
Author:  sfpsb10 [ Tue Jan 06, 2009 11:11 pm ]
Post subject: 
I'm so happy to see this. I think this saved me. I'm really close to bagging this one of the hottest HB's in my school, but now that i think bout it, i've def been putting her on a pedestole
Author:  Playerone [ Tue Jan 06, 2009 11:56 pm ]
Post subject: 
Honestly Solomon, ever since day one you've always helped me the most in here :) great post.
Author:  ConvAZN [ Wed Jan 07, 2009 9:14 pm ]
Post subject: 
*claps*

I had the hardest time struggling with this particular inferiority complex. I used to always feel out of shape, uninteresting, and unattractive the minute an attractive woman came within my sight. Coming from a family mainly comprised of women, many of whom have had horrible relationships with men, it took me a while to accept that women are just as horrible as they claim men to be in the relationship department. As well as that I deserve what I want if I'm willing to take a little non-existant verbal slap.

Learning PU has put me face to face (literally) in dark corners with the 'girl next door.' Many of whom confessed to being in a relationship before and/or after (either it's a shield or not, I don't care).
Author:  FNB [ Wed Jan 07, 2009 10:34 pm ]
Post subject: 
I totally agree with you. One can think that Vicky is extremely beautiful. I think Vicky is a hottie. :) I just love hotties! ;) That is not bad in my opinion as humans do like what is beautiful. Would I place her above myself just because of that? No way! Every time I go out partying and have a good time I see some guys standing in some corner looking at the hotties and be afraid of speaking to a human being. I see this as weird! The even more irritating thing is that there are guys that see me as some kind of legend just because I am with a hottie or even the fact that I'm very good looking. AFCs think that I can get a hot girlfriend and that they can not. So when AFCs put hotties on a pedestal they speak about hot guys as "them" instead of us guys. We are all humans! This same thing happened in that thread. First I said "Don't put people in categories like that!" but still I was placed in that "you" hot people category with the answer "Then it doesn't count FNB"...
Author:  stevo91 [ Thu Jan 08, 2009 12:21 am ]
Post subject: 
great post sol. you have no idea how many guys i know in my high school start to do this and wonder why there love life sucks. however the one thing worse is thinking that evrey girl is not up to your standards and i don't mean the guys who use CnF i mean the guys who's bar is so high that they can't get anything and talk crap about girls and how its always the womens problem why there not with good looking girls.
Author:  FrequentFlyerCA [ Thu Jan 08, 2009 12:55 am ]
Post subject: 
Amen! You speak the truth. This is one of the most important things guys need to learn. If you can lean to talk to a 10 like she's just another person, aproach anxiety will be a thing of the past.


I'd rather be blown off by a complete bitch than not talking to a hot girl who my be a genuinely interesting person.
Page 1 of 2 All times are UTC
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group
http://www.phpbb.com/