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It's About You--Not Her.
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Author:  David~ [ Wed Dec 24, 2008 7:45 am ]
Post subject:  It's About You--Not Her.
A lot of you men seem to be misguided in the sense that Pick-Up revolves around the girl. It isn't about the girl, it's about you.

Remember in-field that it doesn't matter how beautiful or stunning the girl is, how charming she is (or he--no prejudice here), but what it boils down to is you. How you run your game on the target should not be affected by your target. The only person's judgment that matters is yours and yours only.

You are significant. And you are the main role in the play, so focus on yourself. Equip yourself with the tools you need to please the audience--yourself. It doesn't matter what the outcome is, as long as your happy.

Don't focus on results, but just enjoying what you are doing, and for those of you that are beating yourself up for not getting a kiss-close or a lay, just think about how far you came, that you built the courage and gave in the effort to talk to a girl you would have never even dared talking to before all of this.

Too many of you take failure too seriously. Give yourself a pat on the back even if you fail because you had the balls to go in there and try. And don't ever get discouraged. Enjoy it, pertend the girl (or boy) you're talking to is just another nobody because that's what they are--a nobody that you will never see or come across again. You are the audience, you are what's important and you're judgment is the only that matters. People emphasis inner-game, but how are you ever going to build inner-game if you cant ever feel good about yourself or your outcome? Don't let your circle of influence affect what you want out of this--try and try again. Even if you fail give yourself kudos for having balls and trying because a lot of guys run the talk but don't ever apply things.

How you feel about yourself is projected outwards, and even if you fail, feel good and move on and try again.

Even failure can be defined as success. We were blessed enough to have the freedom to interpret things as we wish, so don't let social pars tell you what is right or wrong or what was success or failure.

From personal experience, in terms of a Pick-Up Artists "goals" I have failed an exponentially large amount. Countless more times than successes in the eyes of most, but I redefined my reality--I laughed it off, it made a great story to tell, it was a learning experienced and because I defined it as that, it was a success.

Success is what you make it--

Peace, Love, Hiphop,

Beschatten.
Author:  Dangerboy [ Wed Dec 24, 2008 8:05 am ]
Post subject: 
good post man.
however, i dont like to think of failure as "failure" but rather as a lesson learned in a process of constant improvement.
there is no failure if you managed to do what most are too afraid to do - start a convo with a hb. you're already far above average.
Author:  Reminis [ Wed Dec 24, 2008 8:06 am ]
Post subject: 
Good post Beschatten.
Great read
Author:  madals [ Wed Dec 24, 2008 11:14 am ]
Post subject: 
I see what your saying, however, in my opinion its not all about you. We affect peoples lives whenever we interact (not just with PUA) and I always intend to leave people better than i found them.
You just have to remember that you have to put urself first in a non-selfish way (its a hard thing to explain that).
Author:  David~ [ Wed Dec 24, 2008 3:27 pm ]
Post subject: 
Leaving her better off than you found her should not be a priority IMO.
Your emotions and stability should always come first, especially when we are tinkering with PUA which is such a life altering way of life that involves such a large amount of social interaction.

But that was far from my point. I was trying to get across that a lot of guys beat themselves up for failing and not getting immediate success. This was more of an encouragement post to keep plowing through sets and to create your own definition of success.
Author:  David~ [ Wed Dec 24, 2008 4:48 pm ]
Post subject: 
I wrote this to encourage people with inner-game issues
Author:  Fin [ Wed Dec 24, 2008 5:47 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I wrote this to encourage people with inner-game issues
What hobbit is trying to say is...

that worrying about YOU as an individual is not a good sign of inner game. Infact it's almost the opposite.

If you have inner game, you shouldn't worry about yourself, you should worry about other becuase YOU KNOW YOU WILL GET BY.

Someone who has issues with their inner game will undoubtedly worry about themselves, and telling them to focus even more on that, does not solidify their inner game.
Author:  David~ [ Wed Dec 24, 2008 8:02 pm ]
Post subject: 
Okay let me tell you why I'm so against the motto "Leave her better than you found her" for some clarification.

There was a point in my life where I juggled 3 girls at once, and it was possibly the most awful experience of my life. Because I was so wrapped up in making the girls happy, I was emotionally draining myself, stressing, and taking a dump on my mental health by having my life revolve around the commitment of having 3 girls at once, they were all miniscule flings, but that still didnt change the fact about how draining it was to maintain all 3 of the happy. In the end I was absolutely fucking miserable and losing my head, but because I was so wrapped up in the motto of leaving themselves better off, I forgot about myself, and in the end I blew them all off.

Im not saying worry about yourself, but put yourself first, your needs and wants and desires, and if other things cant fall into your life, don't get out of your way to leave a girl better off.

Maybe that'll clear things up because you seem to be misled on what I am trying to say.

And what I am saying is even if you dont get a kiss close or a lay, pat yourself on the back for having a pair and approaching and trying with a HB instead of beating yourself up. Inner game isn't built out of thin air and in order to grasp any sense of confidence when you are assuming someone has NONE at all, you have to start by accepting little things as successes--because they are successes.
Author:  madals [ Thu Dec 25, 2008 4:04 pm ]
Post subject: 
Besch, you shouldnt sacrifice yourself but you should aim to leave her better than you found he. Thats what i meant by "putting urself first in a non selfish way".
e.g. if she is in a LTR both loving etc etc and u run a BF destoryer and cause them to break up even tho you know in 2-3 weeks u will get bored and move on. Is that fair? its putting your need to close her over her long term happyness.
eg2.
Telling a girl you into commitment etcc etc make her fall madly in love with you and then cheat on her time and time again. Breaking her heart and making her hate men.

Do you see what i am trying to say?
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