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Dating a Girl with a Boyfriend
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Author:  SeanMessenger [ Fri Dec 12, 2008 9:59 pm ]
Post subject:  Dating a Girl with a Boyfriend
A friend asked me what he should do. See, there's a girl that's into him, and he's into her. But she's got a guy. A real boyfriend. Like, dating for years.

So.... what to do?


I've been thinking this one over, and here's my take.

I have never knowingly slept with a girl with a boyfriend. No, wait. Untrue. One time I drunkenly hooked up with a married woman. I honestly don't remember if I knew before the hook up.

But my personal guideline is this: if she is with someone she honestly considers a monogamous partner, I will not sleep with her until after they break up. Its not just about being respectful, its about being clear for her and me. If she wants a fling, I'm not interested. She has to be willing to try it for real, and she cannot do that while she is still with someone else.

Most girls with boyfriends keep that boyfriend around even after the break up. So imagine the conflict if he's still there.

Plus, aint no pussy worth a well deserved ass kicking. If you fuck another dudes lady, he is allowed to fuck you up. If they've already broken up, fair game.


Thoughts? Experiences? Jokes? ;)
Author:  Kontrol [ Fri Dec 12, 2008 10:13 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dating a Girl with a Boyfriend
Quote:
Plus, aint no pussy worth a well deserved ass kicking. If you fuck another dudes lady, he is allowed to fuck you up. If they've already broken up, fair game.
lol true that...
Author:  madals [ Fri Dec 12, 2008 10:26 pm ]
Post subject: 
Girl with a BF:
1) Do I like her?
2) Is she happy with her BF?
3) Is BF happy with her?
4) Would she be better with me?
5) If it doesnt work out, will she still be better off?

Assuming my idea of a good result to that, i will go ahead.
I will NOT do anything physical with a taken girl (if i know ofc). Not even k-close. Some of you are probably thinking "WHY THE HELL NOT? its her choice".
I have respect for myself, her and her BF. No dude deserves that. I want her to know i expect her to be respectful, i dont accept things like cheating. If your in an exclusive realtionship, built on trust, you shouldnt ruin that trust. If some1 breaks my trust, they will work a long time to get it back, if ever.
I will tell the women I wont do anything, no matter how much she tries i wont. If she really wants me, really thinks its better. She should have enough respect for the guy to break up.

Madals
Author:  Mr. Fickle [ Fri Dec 12, 2008 11:04 pm ]
Post subject: 
madals has 666 posts, make a wish!
Author:  madals [ Fri Dec 12, 2008 11:18 pm ]
Post subject: 
667 now, :twisted:
MUHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Author:  Sexcellent [ Sat Dec 13, 2008 7:53 am ]
Post subject: 
i agree with this philosophy

but...

once they are broken up, i don't think it's necessarily fair game if the ex bf is one of your friends. in this case, i would only say to proceed if you knew the girl longer than you knew the bf.
Author:  Youth Riot [ Sat Dec 13, 2008 5:08 pm ]
Post subject: 
I have made out with a friend while she had a boyfriend. I have known my friend since I was probably 15. I'm 20 now and times have changed. She has a baby now and she's been with her boyfriend for about 3 years now. We made out recently because of the sexual tension that we have been creating for ourselves for the past year. It was never planned. It just happened.

I love my friend to death not just as a female but as a person and I was happy to make out with her. I don't regret it at all and I know she doesn't either. The only reason why I was so hesitant for so long was because I was worried that I would ruin her relationship with her boyfriend and then fuck over the baby. I don't think I did that though and I know her well enough to know that she's not the type to be monogamous for so long. In the end, they're pretty much still together because of the baby.

EDIT: You know it's funny because most girls who are upfront with hooking up with me usually have boyfriends for more than 2 years. Perhaps they're looking for something that I can give them that their boyfriend can't. I'm not really sure because I always turn down a girl with a man. She has been the only exception thus far though.
Author:  The Wild One is back [ Mon Dec 15, 2008 3:46 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dating a Girl with a Boyfriend
Quote:
A friend asked me what he should do. See, there's a girl that's into him, and he's into her. But she's got a guy. A real boyfriend. Like, dating for years.

So.... what to do?


I've been thinking this one over, and here's my take.

I have never knowingly slept with a girl with a boyfriend. No, wait. Untrue. One time I drunkenly hooked up with a married woman. I honestly don't remember if I knew before the hook up.

But my personal guideline is this: if she is with someone she honestly considers a monogamous partner, I will not sleep with her until after they break up. Its not just about being respectful, its about being clear for her and me. If she wants a fling, I'm not interested. She has to be willing to try it for real, and she cannot do that while she is still with someone else.

Most girls with boyfriends keep that boyfriend around even after the break up. So imagine the conflict if he's still there.

Plus, aint no pussy worth a well deserved ass kicking. If you fuck another dudes lady, he is allowed to fuck you up. If they've already broken up, fair game.


Thoughts? Experiences? Jokes? ;)
That's exactly why I don't put labels on relationships.
Author:  SeanMessenger [ Mon Dec 15, 2008 4:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Dating a Girl with a Boyfriend
Quote:
Quote:
A friend asked me what he should do. See, there's a girl that's into him, and he's into her. But she's got a guy. A real boyfriend. Like, dating for years.

So.... what to do?


I've been thinking this one over, and here's my take.

I have never knowingly slept with a girl with a boyfriend. No, wait. Untrue. One time I drunkenly hooked up with a married woman. I honestly don't remember if I knew before the hook up.

But my personal guideline is this: if she is with someone she honestly considers a monogamous partner, I will not sleep with her until after they break up. Its not just about being respectful, its about being clear for her and me. If she wants a fling, I'm not interested. She has to be willing to try it for real, and she cannot do that while she is still with someone else.

Most girls with boyfriends keep that boyfriend around even after the break up. So imagine the conflict if he's still there.

Plus, aint no pussy worth a well deserved ass kicking. If you fuck another dudes lady, he is allowed to fuck you up. If they've already broken up, fair game.


Thoughts? Experiences? Jokes? ;)
That's exactly why I don't put labels on relationships.

That's great. Except...

SHE WILL. SHE DOES. SHE HAS.

The woman is always going to need to know how what you are doing together fits in to the larger social context. Why? Cos all her friends and family will continually ask her and pressure her for an answer that makes sense until she gives them one. So if you really care about helping her feel good instead of bad, you have to be clear and kind with her.

It's not about having a "relationship" talk, it's about behavior. Basically, if you only do things that Lovers do (like have sex in secret), it's an affair. She knows it's not built to last, and can enjoy it. But if you do things together in public, you are dating, and at some point dating is expected to be a relationship. You may not have to deal with it, but she does.
Author:  SeanMessenger [ Mon Dec 15, 2008 4:17 pm ]
Post subject: 
Let me flip this.

Say you are with a girl, and she's awesome. Maybe you're exclusive, maybe not. But you like her and she likes you. Then one night you are out having a drink, and some dude is real obvious in putting the moves on her, and she's reciprocating.

Are you cool with it?
Author:  Chief [ Mon Dec 15, 2008 4:20 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Let me flip this.

Say you are with a girl, and she's awesome. Maybe you're exclusive, maybe not. But you like her and she likes you. Then one night you are out having a drink, and some dude is real obvious in putting the moves on her, and she's reciprocating.

Are you cool with it?
yes
Author:  The Doctor [ Mon Dec 15, 2008 8:23 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Let me flip this.

Say you are with a girl, and she's awesome. Maybe you're exclusive, maybe not. But you like her and she likes you. Then one night you are out having a drink, and some dude is real obvious in putting the moves on her, and she's reciprocating.

Are you cool with it?
Hell no, lol... but then again I know that one of the things I need to work on is a tendancy to get jealous. Now depending on my mood, I'd probably either just for lack of a better term 'AMOG' the guy... or 'mark my territory' such as interjecting in the group, while making it very clear through body language/ actions that this woman is mine.

Personally I see this as a matter of respect... I would never hit on another woman when I'm with a girl who I am dating an any capacity, as a simple matter of respect... she is with me and hence deserves my mating/breeding/dating/etc... attention while she is with me.

God I could write a thesis about my feelings on breeding rights, implied pair bonds and social respect of those 2...
Author:  SeanMessenger [ Mon Dec 15, 2008 9:00 pm ]
Post subject: 
not me.

i expect respect and loyalty.

and i'm jealous. it's a natural outcome of love. i mean, fuck, if you went to the park and your dog jumped in someone else's car and they took him home, wouldn't you be upset?

i'd kill a motherfucker. :)
Author:  Rye Lee [ Mon Dec 15, 2008 9:30 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
not me.

i expect respect and loyalty.

and i'm jealous. it's a natural outcome of love. i mean, fuck, if you went to the park and your dog jumped in someone else's car and they took him home, wouldn't you be upset?

i'd kill a motherfucker. :)
I used to be terribly jealous. To the point where I sometimes found it debilitating. I think I got over that about 2 months ago, so I'm no longer jealous without cause, but if I'm in a relationship with a girl and it's not just a completely openly casual thing where we just have fun together and have sex occassionally, but where we are in a real relationship, then I expect that she won't do that sort of thing.

Now if she's just harmlessly flirting, just like I do with some of my female friends, that I don't have any real plans of sleeping with, then I'm not gonna get super upset because I figure that's just kinda human nature. If I'm gonna do it, then she can do it, just as long as it isn't serious flirting and it's just that playful screwing around kind. I know that there is a huge grey area there and that raises the question of how much do you trust him/her to keep it just playful, but if you get mad every time she flirts with a guy just a smidgen, you're gonna end up with a broken relationship before too long. Either that, or all the fun and zest for life drains out of the person because they're moderating their personality and not just enjoying life freely.

Like I said though, I expect the same level of respect and loyalty that I'll give her. That means that I'm not going to be kissing, grinding or having any sexual contact with other girls and she shouldn't be doing any of those things with other guys. A little harmless wordplay is one thing, but soon as it gets physical, then you're crossing the line.

I think a certain level of jealousy is healthy. I'd like to say that I'm a big enough person that if a girl cheated on me I'd just walk away and forget about her. In reality though, I always remember something Sean said to me.

You think you're cool with her being with another guy? You think that it isn't a big deal and won't bother you? Ok, cool. Imagine you're out at the bar. You've been having some fun with the boys, you've had a few drinks, the night is going really well, you're thinking about heading home and makin' some sweet sweet lovin' to your gorgeous girlfriend waiting for you there.

You get up to go to the bathroom and when you walk in, you see a girl on her knees giving a guy a blowjob. Your first thought is, "Nice! Good job buddy!" She's not just sittin there sucking his dick though, she's fuckin taking the whole thing, she's sticking it so far down her throat that she's gagging! She's got drool pouring out of her mouth and her hair is all messed up cause he's gripping the back of her head. Then you see her face and realise that it's YOUR girlfriend! Her eyes are all puffy and red cause she's just givin it all she's got! Then you look up and the guy notices you and it's your WORST ENEMY. The guy you hate more than anyone else on the planet, standing there, giving you the thumbs up with a big cocky grin, with his hand firmly on the back of her head, planting his cock down your lover's throat. Then he pulls out and cums all over her face and not just a little bit, but one of those HUGE messy loads. Picture that scene.

Still ok with her fucking other guys? :)

I know what I'd do. I'd smash the bottle over his head and start breaking his ribs with my boot. There might be a murder on my hands. Not proud of it, but that's the truth. Are you man enough to admit your true feelings?
Author:  Mr. Fickle [ Tue Dec 16, 2008 12:25 am ]
Post subject: 
I went to a football game with friends and I saw the girl I 'really really liked' or (thought I liked at least) making out with another guy. I was completely distraught until something magical happened that guy knew the friends I had come to the football game with. And he completely read my body language and he pulled me aside and said:

"hey look I can see you are mad about me being with her, I cannot make her like you more and I cannot stop her from meeting new people. But what I can do for you is help you meet someone new, so what do you say we just put her behind us and go meet someone new?"

We must have approached 50 sets that night...my first time sarging.

That experience put everything in perspective for me. I loved this guy, he taught me that it isn't personal. He taught me that the guys, girls cheat on me with, are not going worse than I am. They are better, way better. After that night, I would not mind walking in on my girlfriend deep throating Dracula. Because I would just tell myself that Dracula is as good of a guy as the one who stole my first girlfriend.












it just got kinda ridiculous when he stole my second girlfriend though :roll: but that's a different story. but you can bet your sweet ass we met her at that football game that night.
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