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The most Ridic-you-fucking-lous Openers.
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Author:  David~ [ Mon Nov 24, 2008 5:23 pm ]
Post subject:  The most Ridic-you-fucking-lous Openers.
I want the dirtiest, nastiest, most absurd and impractical openers from you guys/girls. I want to individually field test all of them for the sake of putting some joy back in my life.


Here are some examples of the quality I'm looking for.


Yell "HOLY FUCKING SHIT, CAN I HAVE YOURE PHONE NUMBER?" in her ear.

Approach a random girl and call her a celebrities name "OMG, It's Britney Spears".

I want them all.

And if anyone says "Annihilation Opener" I'll personally pick on you for the rest of your life.


On we plow.
Author:  Rex Parliament [ Mon Nov 24, 2008 5:29 pm ]
Post subject: 
I was with one of mah best buds. We're outside of his university. There's a couple cuties nearby..

He walks near them, 'slips' on some ice, and falls on his face right in front of them... They help him up.. and the ice has been broken ;);)

Rex Parliament, wingman of the gods
Author:  Okiokdan [ Mon Nov 24, 2008 5:37 pm ]
Post subject: 
"You're hot, lets make out."
Author:  Marco Polo [ Mon Nov 24, 2008 6:23 pm ]
Post subject: 
I used few times only: "Let`s fuck" :D

It were situations when I felt like a superman, having ridicuosly great time, partying with buddies and behaving like a king of the world. And I never got slaped. Said it with a huge smile on my face and sounding half serious and half like I am just kidding. None said "yes" immediatelly :D and none said "go away creep" :D . They would smile and said "you are crazy". My answer would be "No, I`m just honest and don`t have patience to bullshit you all evening so I decided to tell you how I will about you right this moment. But, it is kinda to fast so how about that we get to know each other before doing anything like that. My name is Marco!" And after that, voila, we would fuck eventually :D


It`s almost no matter what you say, it`s all about how you say it, inner game and vibe you are spreading. Nonetheless, good looks don`t hurt so well built, trained body and nice clothes and smell is preferable!
Author:  Sicario [ Mon Nov 24, 2008 6:50 pm ]
Post subject: 
nice shoes, wanna fuck?
Author:  Sardonyx [ Mon Nov 24, 2008 8:30 pm ]
Post subject: 
"You remind me of my grandmother...except I haven't seen you naked yet"

"Just so you know, I'm gonna have sex with you tonight...so you might as well be there."

My personal favorite: In close proximity, stare at the girl until she says something then come back with, "Well, it's not gonna suck itself"
Author:  sp00n43 [ Mon Nov 24, 2008 8:31 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I was with one of mah best buds. We're outside of his university. There's a couple cuties nearby..

He walks near them, 'slips' on some ice, and falls on his face right in front of them... They help him up.. and the ice has been broken ;);)

Rex Parliament, wingman of the gods
haha I dig it


"OH SHIT YOU HAVE KNUCKLES TOO?" grab her hand

"MY FAVORITE IS THE MIDDLE ONE IT'S A WARRIOR COMPARED TO THE OTHERS" and flip her off
Author:  Mr. Amador [ Mon Nov 24, 2008 8:45 pm ]
Post subject: 
You start talking on your cell phone

"Yeah wait a sec I'm gonna give her the phone"

You give her the phone

"Its for you"

She grabs the phone, and obviously there's no one calling

"Ohh! they hung up? dont worry, give me your number just in case they call again"
Author:  Monkey [ Mon Nov 24, 2008 8:45 pm ]
Post subject: 
I went through a phase about a year back where I was obsessed with doing as much _wrong_ as I could, just to see how many established parts of pick-up theory could be ignored and still have success. After all, AFCs get laid. Some worked. Others did not. Feel free to test whichever you find the most amusing.

"Hi. I'm a pick-up artist."

"Why aren't you talking to that cute boy over there? He's been staring at you for like, five minutes."

"My friends and I are looking to rob this place. You in?" (Straight Jacked from

"So. Syphilis."

"I'm not actually a cute boy. I'm a twelfth-level paladin."

"You may bask in my presence if you like, but only for a little while." *strike heroic pose*

"You seem like you might be a geek. I'm down with that."

"Which one was your favorite Pokemon?"

*walk up with two Magic: The Gathering decks in hand* "Let's play."

I'm sure there are others, but those are the ones I remember.
Author:  Blanks00 [ Mon Nov 24, 2008 9:26 pm ]
Post subject: 
It was one of those spur of the moment things... me and my mates were in the park and it started raining so took off our tops and started running around... then we saw two girls sitting on a bench and my friend ran up and shouted:

'Names and numbers, NOW!!!'

lol the answer was 'we have big scary boyfriends!'

hehe :)
Author:  Plethora [ Mon Nov 24, 2008 9:35 pm ]
Post subject: 
The funniest one I've ever heard, which was used successfully by a mPUA (forgot who), is this:

Walk up to a group, let out a deep sigh while putting forehead into your palm while shaking head. Then "I need to take a shit so badly right now."

It goes to show you, it doesn't matter what you use for an opener as long as you are congruent.
Author:  Zarathustra [ Mon Nov 24, 2008 10:03 pm ]
Post subject: 
actually used for a bet: "so...do you like shit?"
Author:  madals [ Mon Nov 24, 2008 10:07 pm ]
Post subject: 
"Dont be sad when we dont work out, it really will be me and not you"
Author:  cain25 [ Mon Nov 24, 2008 10:41 pm ]
Post subject: 
MIND IF I FART?
Author:  SeanMessenger [ Mon Nov 24, 2008 11:35 pm ]
Post subject: 
that's easy.

Jealous Girlfriend. I still have NO IDEA what the fuck that story is about. So, who's in the photo? Is it your girlfriend? What does she want?

WHY DO I CARE??!?!?

It's not even good girly drama stuff. It's this lame, confusing little mini-soap opera with no sex, no intrigue, and no laughs. Why people think any girl would listen because of this is beyond me... if anyone has ever gotten laid after saying this to a girl, that is fucking proof that you get laid IN SPITE of your words, not because of them.
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