Oh I DEFINITELY know what you're talking about, man. And I congratulate you for being able to acknowledge these opportunities to grow within yourself. It's a really brave thing to do.
Notice I said "opportunities to grow" instead of "problems." They mean the same thing but suggest a completely different perspective.
The bravest act of all is forgiving yourself. If it takes time to sort things out in your head and in your life to achieve that goal, do it because it's well-worth it. Forgiving yourself opens so many doors and gives you some sort of spiritual high, even more so than perceiving forgiveness from a higher power.
When that girl told you that you don't deserve anything good to come to you, it must have been a pretty traumatizing moment, or at least something that began to unravel the very core of your masculinity. Of course that contributed to your fear of success that causes you to sabotage your potential happiness, but you gotta man up and take responsibility for the fact that you let this happen to you. And believe me when I say that you have the ability to turn that boat around.
Once you learn how to forgive yourself, you won't be so prone to basing your value strictly on past events. If it's hard to see what positive things you've brought in life, you'll start seeing more if you forgive yourself. More importantly, you'll be DOING more to bring positivity into the present tense and future tense.
Here's a relevant piece of advice that my high school Physics teacher once told me after I asked him for some life advice over email:
Quote:
We're ALL human. SO ARE YOU. All of the faults and failings you point out in others, all of the incompetence...you are capable of this as well and you do yourself a GREAT disservice to believe otherwise. This is the message of forgiveness, and it is one of the HARDEST lessons to learn because it requires COMPLETE humility. This is why it is one of the pillars of one of the world's great religions. It is SO hard for people to do, that some find the only way to do it is to call upon "an other" outside themselves, a divine power- a power that I personally believe is in fact within us all, and we call it "divine" because to see it as though it were something that is NOT us in fact helps us SEE it better. My personal belief is that we ALL have "divinity" within us, but we are not gods. We are divinely human. So are you, and so is every person who disappoints or frustrates you.
One last thought which may or may not ring true for you: perhaps, what you are seeing so acutely in others are some of the very things that you most fear or hate that you yourself might be capable of. As soon as you accept these parts of yourself as part of your humanity, you will better be able to see the humanity (and divinity) in others.
Forgiveness is a powerful tool of the heart. Religion is not required to do it - in my opinion - but for some it makes it easier. Draw on whatever allows you to find that power, and be sure to direct towards yourself as well as others. I believe as soon as you can forgive one, the other becomes easier as well.
Damn, gmail is awesome. I can pull up emails from several years ago in a heartbeat!One last thought which may or may not ring true for you: perhaps, what you are seeing so acutely in others are some of the very things that you most fear or hate that you yourself might be capable of. As soon as you accept these parts of yourself as part of your humanity, you will better be able to see the humanity (and divinity) in others.
Forgiveness is a powerful tool of the heart. Religion is not required to do it - in my opinion - but for some it makes it easier. Draw on whatever allows you to find that power, and be sure to direct towards yourself as well as others. I believe as soon as you can forgive one, the other becomes easier as well.
Anyways, take a good look in the mirror. What do you see? Think about all the things that you hate yourself for and then face yourself. Look yourself in the eyes. Are you ready to move onto a better life? Are you ready to enrich others' lives with the shining positivity of your own? Are you ready to change so that you can make someone else happy with your own happiness? If so, look at yourself and say these words, "I forgive you, Stealth." And take yourself seriously there.
Once you got that out of the way, get out a sheet of paper and an pen and write down 10 reasons why a woman would be lucky to be with you. Read this list every day. Change it from time to time if you come up with better ideas.
If you wanna go even further than that, there are things better explained in person than over text. Wanna take my $20 workshop?
(shameless plug)
Cheers! I would go to ur workshop but go no money need a job first.