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quick question.
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Author:  thatkidej [ Mon Oct 27, 2008 6:29 am ]
Post subject:  quick question.
Girl usually texts "good night" to me before she goes to bed. I'll usually reply and say good night back.

What am I proving to her by replying/not replying?

I was thinking not replying would either be a DLV to her, a DHV for me, or an IOD on my part. But I don't know if replying changes anything at all.

Opinions? I want her to know replying to her is not priority, and she's not priority.
Author:  bearcock [ Mon Oct 27, 2008 6:49 am ]
Post subject: 
ALWAYS reply back.if you dont,she might start worrying and being self-conscious and thatll be the first thing she will think about when she wakes up.

i usually send somthin gay like "night.dream about me" or "sweet dreams/sweetie/sexy/shawty/babe."chicks eat that shit up.

its obviously an IOI if she initiates. you dont wanna punish her for good behavior by negging or not responding at all.
Author:  thatkidej [ Mon Oct 27, 2008 10:16 am ]
Post subject: 
If you can find my post from a few days ago I'm talking about the same girl.

Things are kinda awkward between us right now. I've accepted the fact we might not get together, but I'm still gonna game a little more, while being more subtle.

New info: I told her the 100% perfect girl story, and she said her worse fear is being with someone when she knows she missed out on something better. Now I know for a fact I could play on that fear, but I wouldn't feel right doing that so I won't.
Author:  V1V [ Mon Oct 27, 2008 1:33 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: quick question.
Quote:
Girl usually texts "good night" to me before she goes to bed. I'll usually reply and say good night back.

What am I proving to her by replying/not replying?

I was thinking not replying would either be a DLV to her, a DHV for me, or an IOD on my part. But I don't know if replying changes anything at all.

Opinions? I want her to know replying to her is not priority, and she's not priority.
dont reply back. if she worries then good. that way she goes to sleep wanting you. wakes up - quickly dashes to her fone to see if you gave her a night poem or w.e her fantasy is. nope. nothing. if she then texts you again asking you if your ignoring her or if your already asleep text back saying sweet dreams. but dont carry on the convo.
V1V :twisted:
Author:  Ezo [ Mon Oct 27, 2008 2:09 pm ]
Post subject: 
Im taking the middle road here. Sometimes I reply immediately and sometimes not. That is more natural.
Author:  thatkidej [ Mon Oct 27, 2008 11:27 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Im taking the middle road here. Sometimes I reply immediately and sometimes not. That is more natural.
Well it's kind of a fact that I reply the second I get a text, unless it's someone I don't want to talk to.

It's not common for me to not reply, and I usually have a reason when I don't. I just figured me not replying would throw her off, cause I always do.
Author:  Bonita [ Tue Oct 28, 2008 12:44 am ]
Post subject: 
I think by not replying you just come off as a jerk. There is little to no DHV or DLV on either side. Sometimes guys tend to overthink every aspect of interaction and that is what I think is going on here. If you want to say goodnight to her just say it....yeah she might check her phone in the morning to see if you texted but she isnt going to go gushing to her friends and say "omg i texted him goodnight and he didnt text back." And if she isn't complaining about it to her friends...then it doesnt really matter that much....you are probably giving it more thought than she is.
Author:  thatkidej [ Tue Oct 28, 2008 2:15 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I think by not replying you just come off as a jerk. There is little to no DHV or DLV on either side. Sometimes guys tend to overthink every aspect of interaction and that is what I think is going on here. If you want to say goodnight to her just say it....yeah she might check her phone in the morning to see if you texted but she isnt going to go gushing to her friends and say "omg i texted him goodnight and he didnt text back." And if she isn't complaining about it to her friends...then it doesnt really matter that much....you are probably giving it more thought than she is.
I am giving it more thought than needed, I agree. But I'm not going for her to consciously recognize that I didn't reply, I'm aiming for something more subtle, like a subconscious belief about me.

She's not thinking about it enough to just assume I'm being a jerk by not saying it back. And when I first started liking her I'd send her a good night message nearly every night. I want her to recognize I'm not gonna be some orbiter for her, I'm not gonna cater to her, etc. I'm fun to be around, and if she wants to continue to know and interact with me, it's gonna be more than a one-sided effort.
Author:  Jaybot [ Tue Oct 28, 2008 2:17 am ]
Post subject: 
I usually say sweet dreams or good night or something, I think it is more about right I am going to bed now I will let him know so he doesn't wake me up or ask why I didn't text back, nothing more.
Author:  vitaminc [ Tue Oct 28, 2008 5:21 am ]
Post subject: 
i also take the middle road... sometimes i'd reply, other times i wont. if i'm out and she texts me, i'll only reply after i'm back (which is normally around 2-3am) so she knows that i was out clubbing etc. (but dont say tell her you were out)

i dont think its a DHV or a DLV really, not replying is more of a "i dont really have time for you/i dont care enough to bother replying". you can almost look at this like cat string theory. if you never reply then she'll stop bothering, if you always reply then she'll always text you but it wont mean anything.
Author:  thatkidej [ Tue Oct 28, 2008 6:01 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
you can almost look at this like cat string theory. if you never reply then she'll stop bothering, if you always reply then she'll always text you but it wont mean anything.
That's a damn good point man, I didn't think about that. I shouldn't be so predictable with it. I always text back. It's either I text back right away or whenever I notice the message. I'm always the one who ends up never getting a reply.

Thanks for the input! +1 for you :)
Author:  Ezo [ Tue Oct 28, 2008 10:01 am ]
Post subject: 
Do not ignore her unless she has done something wrong. But you do not have to write her the second she writes you.
Save the ignoring part for freezeouts etc... I know how painful that is, if it is anything I hate in this world it is to lose and to be ignored! And I know most girls feel the same way.
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