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Author:  thatkidej [ Fri Oct 24, 2008 10:37 pm ]
Post subject:  fuck.

I started reading PUA material in Feb, been reading ever since.

Haven't been in an LTR in over a year, haven't been ready for one.

Then I met this girl, and we seemed to hit it off. I've been thinking about her all week, I am really ready for an LTR. She drove a half an hour to come see me twice this week, and then a half an hour back too. I was getting IOIs, and we were hanging out for several hours each time. I gave her an SOI after a while, and she didn't seem to have a problem with it.

Now I find I'm in LJBF zone, and I'm fucking crushed. I mean, I can deal with it, but I just don't want to. It's not like she led me on. I wasn't expecting it to work out, but I was hoping it would. I know I can get another girl and all that shit, but I really don't want to. I guess I'm not ready for a relationship? Someone tell me what to think, cause I really don't know right now.

Please don't give me advice on how "she's replaceable" and all that, cause I don't want to hear it right now.

Here's the situation before. She broke up with her boyfriend like a month ago. She says she's not ready for a relationship now. She has a baby daughter. She doesn't want to let her daughter get attached to someone and then lose him. But I don't want to be just a friend because of some barrier she's set up for herself. I want to figure out how to get past the barrier.

I've already fucked up and showed weakness by being honest about my full intent. I didn't try to reason or argue or coax her into a relationship, not even that she should consider it. Just that I want it, and I'm ready for it, and I told her we could keep her daughter out of it if that's what she wants, that's the one solid reason she had.

Really though, if someone could give me an idea or hit me up on AIM/MSN/yahoo it'd be appreciated.

AIM: break3r101
MSN:break3r101@aol.com
yahoo:its_all_about_tk

Author:  thatkidej [ Sat Oct 25, 2008 12:57 am ]
Post subject: 

So I've decided [on my own] that I don't really care. If she can't see that I'm an amazing guy and she'd be lucky to be with me, then how is she going to appreciate it when it happens? I'm still interested in her, but I'm not gonna go one-itis again and get stuck thinking about her. I'll just freeze her out for a while. She enjoys talking to me, she enjoys hanging out with me, so I assume it'll do some good.

However, I'm re-prioritizing. My 18th birthday is in a week, this is a perfect opportunity to work even more on my game and my inner game. I want to get a better mindset on the girl thing though, I thought I was done getting attached but today proved me wrong. I need to be a little more indifferent to it all. I just need a little more work. I've been heading in the right direction all year, I'm just not all the way there yet.

Author:  Kalel [ Sat Oct 25, 2008 3:00 am ]
Post subject: 

I'm glad you've figured it out, but I would like to give you one piece of advice. Always remember it's not the girl, it's the process (credit to Shawn from cocky comedy). A lot of guys get iois from hbs and their old mindset starts to bleed back in, all of a sudden they go afc and ruin everything. When we are too close to a situation it can overwhelm us. You must always have perspective and never put a women on a pedestal. Just remember, the girl isn't the reason your game is working, there is nothing exceptionally special about her, its the process. Respect the natural flow of meeting and connecting with women. Learn from it. Date a lot of women. Figure out what type of women you like and what kind you don't. Become well rounded and educated about women. Then, when your a lot older, you can make an informed decision about getting into a LTR.

Author:  thatkidej [ Sat Oct 25, 2008 5:36 am ]
Post subject: 

I really wasn't putting her on a pedestal. I was still gaming as normal, I just started to get a little too hopeful.

So the situation now is: We are friends, but she feels awkward hanging out because of everything that was said. She doesn't want a relationship, but we did have a lot of fun just hanging out so I'm trying to make things at least that comfortable right now. I'm gonna keep pressure off but I'll still game her subtly. I figure she'll come around eventually, and if she doesn't it isn't a big deal because she's hella cool. Haha Lisa Leveridge eventually gave into Style, so it's kinda like that.

If anyone has any tips for the current situation I'm really interested. I know I messed it up by being direct with how I felt and all that, but I know I can recover from it.

Author:  ConvAZN [ Sat Oct 25, 2008 6:03 am ]
Post subject: 

Like it or not, you got the friend speech and she isn't likely to see you as a 'boyfriend' material anytime soon. Best you can shoot for is pity sex and that'll make things even worse for both of you. The only sure fire way to change her mind is to LEAVE HER THE F**K ALONE. In most cases, the only way to break the "Best Male Friend" curse is the have a DRASTIC change in your personality, to the point where you're practically a different person. And, likely, by that time, you'd wonder why you were so heads over heel about her to begin with.

Your choice: Continue to fawn over her, hoping one day to be magically transformed from good friend to lover - IE, she decides she'll settle and chooses you, more out of convenience than desire, or you can do something she'll respect you for, move on.

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