PUA Forum :: Why do so many people do this?

JSmooth - I certainly agree with you as well.

Chino Kapone - I am surprise a 33 year old would text you back and never call you back. I have a female friend that is 55 and she does a mix of both. She only texts me if she is busy doing something and can't talk for the hour or two that we talk on the phone. But if I had to take a guess to why both a 20 year old and a 33 year old are texting you and not calling you is you don't have enough attraction/interest on their end to get them to call you. But I could be wrong and both girls communicate via text for all I know.

At 17-20 texting/msn is the way to communicate without seeing eachother. I know people will disagree with me on doing what everyone else does but i genuinly prefer texting to calling.

For a start, if i am on the phone to a girl i cant really do much else, i am no good at multi-tasking and still maintaing good game. With stuff to do i can text a girl every 5-10 mins and still do revision/watch telly or whatever really.

Because they have always done this why try to communicate in a different way? (think AFC talking logically to a girl).

Dont make things harder for yourself. Ofc depending on the target.

Lastly, and prehaps most importantly, for the people who will argue you lose voice tone etc when txting rather than calling, think of how much you lose when you call rather than see eachother? way more. This i find to be the other advantage of texting, you dont accidently have long conversations about nothing that will result in LJBF. Because most of the time you cba to press so many keys to say so little, you just go meet up. Better

p.s. feel free to debate with me

Quote:

Its not really that, its just easier to get a hold of someone on your time via text. When I was laying on top of them, it was much easier to communicate.

I would say that on average, the women I have met communicate 75% of the time via text. Thats why it is the main resource for me. I need to slow down, because for a while I was just sending out mass drunk texts... But I would get several replies... It worked well for a while...

Texting isn't regressing, it is progressing. It really needs to be a strong point in a man's game. All phone game should, from the call, to the voice mail to the text. You look like a tool if your text game is awesome, but can't hold a conversation on the phone.

CK

I see texting making it harder seeing that each time you see the girl you have to then rebuild any lost interest/attraction and comfort you lost via texting. While if you talked on the phone most of that stuff you worked on before will stay.

I also see nothing wrong with having a long conversation on the phone every once awhile. Doing it every time will put you in the friend zone for sure.

jurupa,

Quote:

Just the same as keeping attraction on the phone is a skill, so is text. It might be a little harder, but i try to limit non face to face contact at first for this exact reason. So much of attraction is, in my opinion, things like kino which cant be done over the phone well.

I would imagine you wouldnt be doing this before at least a day 2 tho? considering i try to get a day 2 within a week or so i dont have that much time to talk before then cos i am a busy guy.

I like reading other peoples body language.

Author:	jurupa [ Thu Oct 23, 2008 11:26 am ]
Post subject:	Why do so many people do this?
Why do so many guys rely on text game and not calling the dam girl? I can understand using the text game a lot in high school. But once your out of high school I don't see a reason to be really texting girls. I can see in using it every now and then, but why rely on it so much? And before someone says "I do well on the phone". So? If you where able to talk the girl at the club you can speak to her on the phone. Its really not that different. I am not saying I am some pro on the phone as I am not. But I just see it as bad way to communicate with girls when you get past high school. As its not a personal forum of communication. While talking to the girl on the phone is personal. I know am ranting but I just find it amazing to how many guys here do the whole text game and most come to find out that it really does not work. And it usually ends up with them loosing the girl.

Author:	JSmooth [ Thu Oct 23, 2008 3:28 pm ]
Post subject:
As far as I'm concerned you can stand on that soap box all day long and argue this point. I agree with you 100%. Why regress going to text message instead of talking on the phone. Seems like the cowards way out to me. I still say play on your strengths. If you are not good talking on the phone then use text, but that means you need to get better on the phone and not use text as a crutch forever as it's not as personal, and doesn't build as much comfort as actual talking. Good Post!

Author:	Chino Kapone [ Thu Oct 23, 2008 3:30 pm ]
Post subject:
Maaaaan... I have been relying too much on text game. It really has hurt my game, I am just so used to it. I dated 3 different hb's and that would be the only way that they would communicate. Calling got me a text back. Weather they are 20 years old or 33 years old, it just seems that is the only way to really talk to one. It is really the only way I talk to half or my buddies as well. Its just become 2nd nature. But again, like I said, I think it has really hurt my game. Anyway, good post. CK

Author:	madals [ Thu Oct 23, 2008 3:59 pm ]
Post subject:
Respectfully, i disagree here. At 17-20 texting/msn is the way to communicate without seeing eachother. I know people will disagree with me on doing what everyone else does but i genuinly prefer texting to calling. For a start, if i am on the phone to a girl i cant really do much else, i am no good at multi-tasking and still maintaing good game. With stuff to do i can text a girl every 5-10 mins and still do revision/watch telly or whatever really. Most girls also prefer texting a guy at my age and dislike calls. For the same reasons ofc. Because they have always done this why try to communicate in a different way? (think AFC talking logically to a girl). Dont make things harder for yourself. Ofc depending on the target. Lastly, and prehaps most importantly, for the people who will argue you lose voice tone etc when txting rather than calling, think of how much you lose when you call rather than see eachother? way more. This i find to be the other advantage of texting, you dont accidently have long conversations about nothing that will result in LJBF. Because most of the time you cba to press so many keys to say so little, you just go meet up. Better Ofc there are times when calling is better but overall i prefer to text for the reasons above. Madals p.s. feel free to debate with me

Author:	jurupa [ Thu Oct 23, 2008 4:17 pm ]
Post subject:
JSmooth - I certainly agree with you as well. Chino Kapone - I am surprise a 33 year old would text you back and never call you back. I have a female friend that is 55 and she does a mix of both. She only texts me if she is busy doing something and can't talk for the hour or two that we talk on the phone. But if I had to take a guess to why both a 20 year old and a 33 year old are texting you and not calling you is you don't have enough attraction/interest on their end to get them to call you. But I could be wrong and both girls communicate via text for all I know.

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Author:	Chino Kapone [ Thu Oct 23, 2008 4:39 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: JSmooth - I certainly agree with you as well. Chino Kapone - I am surprise a 33 year old would text you back and never call you back. I have a female friend that is 55 and she does a mix of both. She only texts me if she is busy doing something and can't talk for the hour or two that we talk on the phone. But if I had to take a guess to why both a 20 year old and a 33 year old are texting you and not calling you is you don't have enough attraction/interest on their end to get them to call you. But I could be wrong and both girls communicate via text for all I know. Its not really that, its just easier to get a hold of someone on your time via text. When I was laying on top of them, it was much easier to communicate. I would say that on average, the women I have met communicate 75% of the time via text. Thats why it is the main resource for me. I need to slow down, because for a while I was just sending out mass drunk texts... But I would get several replies... It worked well for a while... Texting isn't regressing, it is progressing. It really needs to be a strong point in a man's game. All phone game should, from the call, to the voice mail to the text. You look like a tool if your text game is awesome, but can't hold a conversation on the phone. CK

Author:	jurupa [ Thu Oct 23, 2008 4:42 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: At 17-20 texting/msn is the way to communicate without seeing eachother. I know people will disagree with me on doing what everyone else does but i genuinly prefer texting to calling. I did say I would expect texting to be used a lot in high school which does cover the 17 to 18 age group. I would also not expect the teen to just drop texting either as soon as they got out of high school. But I would say by the age of 20 they should be texting less and talking more on the phone. Quote: For a start, if i am on the phone to a girl i cant really do much else, i am no good at multi-tasking and still maintaing good game. With stuff to do i can text a girl every 5-10 mins and still do revision/watch telly or whatever really. Headset? lol. But I can see how someone in their early 20's having not been able to develop their multi tasking skills yet. But it is certainly something worth while to learn and build upon as it does become quite useful down the road. Quote: Because they have always done this why try to communicate in a different way? (think AFC talking logically to a girl). Because texting is not personal. There is no human connection on a social level when you are texting someone. I guess I am a bit old fashion in this way but I rather communicate via voice than text. There is also the finical reason to pick voice over text. As the the cell phone companies have been raising the text rates primary due to the traffic of text messages. Voice uses less bandwidth than texting does. Quote: Dont make things harder for yourself. Ofc depending on the target. I see texting making it harder seeing that each time you see the girl you have to then rebuild any lost interest/attraction and comfort you lost via texting. While if you talked on the phone most of that stuff you worked on before will stay. Quote: Lastly, and prehaps most importantly, for the people who will argue you lose voice tone etc when txting rather than calling, think of how much you lose when you call rather than see eachother? way more. This i find to be the other advantage of texting, you dont accidently have long conversations about nothing that will result in LJBF. Because most of the time you cba to press so many keys to say so little, you just go meet up. Better I really don't see losing that much when I am talking on the phone compare to texting. I also see nothing wrong with having a long conversation on the phone every once awhile. Doing it every time will put you in the friend zone for sure. But if you have no phone skill then you won't be able to end the phone conversation and it will turn into an hour phone conversation. Quote: p.s. feel free to debate with me Oh now you tell me.

Author:	jurupa [ Thu Oct 23, 2008 4:49 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Quote: JSmooth - I certainly agree with you as well. Chino Kapone - I am surprise a 33 year old would text you back and never call you back. I have a female friend that is 55 and she does a mix of both. She only texts me if she is busy doing something and can't talk for the hour or two that we talk on the phone. But if I had to take a guess to why both a 20 year old and a 33 year old are texting you and not calling you is you don't have enough attraction/interest on their end to get them to call you. But I could be wrong and both girls communicate via text for all I know. Its not really that, its just easier to get a hold of someone on your time via text. When I was laying on top of them, it was much easier to communicate. I would say that on average, the women I have met communicate 75% of the time via text. Thats why it is the main resource for me. I need to slow down, because for a while I was just sending out mass drunk texts... But I would get several replies... It worked well for a while... Texting isn't regressing, it is progressing. It really needs to be a strong point in a man's game. All phone game should, from the call, to the voice mail to the text. You look like a tool if your text game is awesome, but can't hold a conversation on the phone. CK I certainly see the "its easier to use than talking" thing. But besides the no personal connection thing, it will be very easy to miss interpret the meaning of text messages. As you can't deliver a text message with a smart ass tone or a C&F tone etc. The only times I used text was to confirm meet ups and to give directions. Very rarely would I use it to communicate with it. Once of the problems I been seeing with the text game is the multiple texts per day. As it seems for a lot of guys it just runs them into trouble every time they text a girl more than 2 times a day.

Author:	Hopeless Romantic [ Thu Oct 23, 2008 4:50 pm ]
Post subject:
I think phone game is an irrational fear for guys. I know for me it is. I hate hate hate the phone. One of my main reasons is that I stutter and it really embarasses me. In highschool I would never call anyone's house in case someone else picked up and then I had to ask to talk to my friend. Now I can usually just call cellphones which makes it a little easier, but I still hate it. I find it hard to even call to order food or make a doctors appointment or anything. I hate going through drive thru's. I know its all psychological for me so its something I need to work on.

Author:	madals [ Thu Oct 23, 2008 5:24 pm ]
Post subject:
jurupa, Quote: I see texting making it harder seeing that each time you see the girl you have to then rebuild any lost interest/attraction and comfort you lost via texting. While if you talked on the phone most of that stuff you worked on before will stay. Just the same as keeping attraction on the phone is a skill, so is text. It might be a little harder, but i try to limit non face to face contact at first for this exact reason. So much of attraction is, in my opinion, things like kino which cant be done over the phone well. Quote: I also see nothing wrong with having a long conversation on the phone every once awhile. Doing it every time will put you in the friend zone for sure. I would imagine you wouldnt be doing this before at least a day 2 tho? considering i try to get a day 2 within a week or so i dont have that much time to talk before then cos i am a busy guy. Apart from that i see your point of view on the other things, i just disagree Damn my modern high speed world with text messages and email!!

Author:	NonStopReaper [ Thu Oct 23, 2008 6:14 pm ]
Post subject:
sometimes people feel comfortable with text gaming...for me i rather talk on the phone or in person. Time to time i'll text short little msg but not trying to game on text. personally i hate texting -_-. I Think when people text game.. they are still shy to verbally or face to face talk with the person. Plus i think you convey your feelings/ game better in person through body language. I like reading other peoples body language.

Author:	Sliq [ Thu Oct 23, 2008 7:08 pm ]
Post subject:
The biggest problem I've seen with texting is that you lose the tone of voice. Something that you might say as cocky/funny in person might come off as just bein a jerk in a text. It really depends on how they want to interpret things at that particular point in time. Or I'm just too AFC to really implement the cocky/funny attitude into my texts, lol. But like others have said it is really just a matter of convenience.

Author:	jurupa [ Thu Oct 23, 2008 7:35 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: jurupa, Quote: I see texting making it harder seeing that each time you see the girl you have to then rebuild any lost interest/attraction and comfort you lost via texting. While if you talked on the phone most of that stuff you worked on before will stay. Just the same as keeping attraction on the phone is a skill, so is text. It might be a little harder, but i try to limit non face to face contact at first for this exact reason. So much of attraction is, in my opinion, things like kino which cant be done over the phone well. I think when you work on your phone game more. You will find that you can keep a girls attraction/interest with just the use of words. The next time your in a book store or at a magazine stand. Take a look at a magazine for girls in your age group and look at the ads in it. Ignore the imagery they use and just look at the words that are used. More often than not the words that are used are soft words that tend to have some emotional concatenation to them. Now use those same words on the phone with a girl and I bet you, you will find her interest may even increase with just a phone conversation. Yes you could use the same words for texting. But it won't carry the words the same way. I agree that things like kino are important but you also have to stimulate the mind as well to get the girl. Quote: I would imagine you wouldnt be doing this before at least a day 2 tho? considering i try to get a day 2 within a week or so i dont have that much time to talk before then cos i am a busy guy. The soonest I would even go for 30 minutes on the phone with some girl is when I get to the third date. Now if we get on a topic that I am really interested in and the girl happens to be interested in it as well then I will allow the conversation to go for an hour. But nothing more than that.

Author:	jurupa [ Thu Oct 23, 2008 7:36 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: I like reading other peoples body language. So do I. Its quite fun to do and can become quite useful when it comes to picking up girls or dealing with people in the real world.

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Author:	madals [ Thu Oct 23, 2008 7:39 pm ]
Post subject:
The point i am trying to make is, phone game and text game dont differ much for what i use them for. They shouldnt really be used, imo, to build attraction or get to know them THAT much more. Do it face to face, its far better. You can do all the things you said about doing on the phone face to face far better imo, you get facial expression, touch and all those sort of things. All i feel phonegame is really used for is to maintain attraction and her thinking about you until you get a day two.