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Author:  callmecaptain [ Thu Sep 11, 2008 3:29 am ]
Post subject:  Boyfriend Girl
I am shocked.

I really didn't see this one coming, so I'm going to write down the summary of events that happened to see what you all suggest I do about this and to get your views on just what this means.

I don't know what it is about my chemistry class and really hot girls, but it's loaded and I can't understand why. The past few days I've noticed this HB7.5 just eye fucking me hard. So in lab the other day I went up to her and started talking to her. I just said what's up and we talked for a while. It was surprisingly effortless and went well. Her friends even made fun of her a bit for flirting with me. They were like "hey, how bout you quit flirting and help us with the lab?" to which she kinda turned red and left to look at her experiment.

So today i sat down in an area where she usually sits with the goal of getting her number. She sat down next to me. We talked a bit, I negged her just a little and we worked together on some of the problems presented as discussion questions in class. She said something like "Dude, we gotta study together" which I took as a definate IOI. I told her to call me when she wanted to study and we both tenatively agreed on sunday. I gave her my number.

At 5pm today I got a text from her saying the following:

HB7.5: Hey it's Cheeks from chemistry:) I was just wondering if you are available to study on sunday?
Me: Sup Cheeks! I'm deinfately down. See any leathery old ladies yet? (inside joke)
HB7.5: haha yes a lady named __. But I got off early :) so i think she will be the only one for the day LOL. So what time is good for you?
Me: It doesn't really matter what time on Sunday.
HB7.5: Do you have a job?
Me: Doing full time school right now. 3 labs this semester!
Me: Is this an interview?
HB7.5: Yeah that's why i was wondering. Nah LOL i just have been curious. That's all
Me: You want my social security number too?
HB7.5: LOL sure if ur rich
Me: Sounds like fighting words to me
HB7.5: ;)
Me: Hey you don't have a membership to ___ gym do you?
HB7.5: I did. I played for a ____ tennis team for 4 years and my high school practice courts were at ____gym. My coach is the owner. But once I graduated I didn't renew my membership. I work out at Xtreme fitness now. Why?
Me: Ahh bummer. I lift at ___gym and swim at ___ gym. I was gonna see if you wanted to be my swimming buddy...too bad
HB7.5: Now you must want my social security number
HB7.5: LOL dang it. It's ok I wouldn't be any fun cuz i can't swim. doggy paddle yes. Swim no :)
Me: Haha. I'm so gonna make fun of you now!
HB7.5: I don't care. I could kick your ass in tennis though.
HB7.5: I float just fine
Me: Hmm. You might have to prove it to me at the lake
HB 7.5: What that I can't swim?
HB7.5: You can trust me I wouldn't lie
Me: Lol calm down! Omg you're freaking out :p
HB:7.5: No I'm chill I just text hella fast now :) And i text without thinking it's like text vomit
HB7.5: :)
Me: lol you are too much Cheeks. I'm gonna go swim. Try not to think about me too much ;) ok?
HB:7.5: Oh trust me reading about chemistry is so much more netertaining. But yeah have fun.
Me: Later yo

1.5 hours go by as i swim...

HB7.5: Hey I'm off
HB7.5: Can you talk on the phone?
HB:7.5: Sorry Captain I was texting my friend ___ but I sent it to you on accident :)
Me: Lol. It's all good. I just got done swimming so I got all your messages at once. Man there are some badass kids in that pool!
HB7.5: Are the tatted up hawaiians?
Me: Lol no! THey're like 8 years old and faster than me!
HB 7.5: LOL how old are u?
Me: 12
Me: Hey, what side of town do you live on?
HB7.5: The ghetto one with the drug dealers
Me: Nice! I'm thinking about going to a coffee place on the west end to prepare a study guide. Would you like to meet up with me?
HB7.5: Sorry dude I'm busy tonight. My boyfriend just got off football practice but another night would be great :)
Me: Ahh football was fun... No problem. I'll see you on Friday.

I don't get it. Why the hell did she put so much time into texting me with all of these smiley faces (mind you she initiated the conversation) if she has a boyfriend?? At the end i tried to reframe the situation to make it sound like football is something kids play and to make it seem like i'm grown up and I have real priorities now (in reality i like football a lot). I also tried to make it seem like i didn't really care if she had a boyfriend.

What does this all mean? Clearly she cares enough to put some time into our conversations. I just gave her my number today and just talked to her for the first time yesterday. I'm definately confused. Suppose she is interested in me. Did she bring up the bf factor as a shit test? how do i get rid of him?

Thanks for reading to the end.

CPT
Author:  Gay [ Thu Sep 11, 2008 3:53 am ]
Post subject: 
Personally, it sounds like she just wanted to make sure she still can control a cute guy.

What I would do is ignore her for a day, then in chemistry boss her around a bit. Be alpha, and then if she invites you to something say no. Or invite her, and then text her the same night you invited her and tell her you can't go on whatever night it was you had plans with your brother/friend and you can't miss it.

But I could be wrong xD
Author:  Abdul-aAfc [ Thu Sep 11, 2008 3:52 pm ]
Post subject: 
Some girls like to mess around with boys to prove to themselves that they are still attractive my guess is ignore her for a bit and she will want you.
Author:  Prowler [ Fri Sep 12, 2008 8:57 am ]
Post subject: 
Hey Dude you sounded like a pro but i think you could have maybe gotten off that text on a high note instead of riding it out past the date being set...other than that you sounded smooth.... she seems to be testing you...

Happy hunting
Author:  callmecaptain [ Fri Sep 12, 2008 3:57 pm ]
Post subject: 
So I'll summarize what's been going on since:

She's been texting me like crazy. I'm not exaggerating - i got about 30 texts over the span of 1 and a half hours. I decided to try and rouse her interests by pushing her into the LJBF zone.

I said this:

Me: ... I was going to say You can only hang with me if you promise not to flirt with me. Deal?

HB7.5: What? WHy? I wasn't plannin on it but now I'm curious to why you would'nt want me to do that?
HB7.5: Do I gross you out or something?

Me: Nah, we're just friends miss Cheeks. You don't gross me out. I'd say you're kind of cute and that's why you shouldn't flirt with me

blah blah blah

HB 7.5: What is kind of cute?? Does taht mean I'm kind of not ugly??

Me: Fine then, you're cute god!

HB 7.5: :)

Anyway from that point on she started qualifying herself to me and asking me where I think she should get a tatoo. She told me about how she was thinking abotu getting it below her underwear line and how she wanted it to be sexy. I really have a hard time taking her seriously. Either she's just trying to get attention or she is completely bored with her relationship and wants my nuts. I'm not sure which is the case.

She said she's gonna sit by me in class today and that she's down to hangout over the weekend. It's an IOI + mixed message fest. I'll update on what happens after the weekend.

CPT
Author:  callmecaptain [ Mon Sep 15, 2008 2:43 am ]
Post subject: 
Hey!

Here's an update on how things are going:

Today she and I met up at starbucks under the premise of studying. At 3:45pm her boyfriend dropped her off (LOL). She and I studied for about 45 minutes. Then we talked until 7:30pm.

We talked about politics for a bit, but most of the time was spent talking about relationships and sex.

I got her to admit that all girls are a little lesbian. She even told me about a lesbian experience she once had. Then we talked about different sex positions, blah blah, and good vs bad sex. She complained that her boyfriend isn't open to learning new things and implied that he's no good in bed.

I talked about the different kinds of orgasims I've made girls have and DHVd like a mother fucker. It was the best sexual tension I'd ever built up.

Eventually she admitted that she's kind of getting bored with her relationship and said that she'd leave him for another guy if the right one came along.

We were basically going back and forth throwing sexual tension at each other. I ended by saying I had to be somewhere for dinner (which was actually true). I gave her a fist pound and she totally blushed. As I drove off i slowly looked over at her and gave her a head nod. She was head over heels.

I'm convinced I'm in.

Rapport is set, comfort is there. I'm going to drag this out for another week and flirt around with other girls in class to drive her crazy.

Next weekend i hope to take her to a more isolated setting, break rapport and go wild.

I'm excited about this

CPT
Author:  Starfox [ Mon Sep 15, 2008 2:54 am ]
Post subject: 
Looks like its time to run some BF destroyers...
Author:  Kaine [ Mon Sep 15, 2008 11:09 am ]
Post subject: 
Lets hear these BF destroyers...
Author:  callmecaptain [ Tue Sep 16, 2008 11:33 pm ]
Post subject: 
Yeah BF destroyers would be helpful.

I've hung out with her the past 2 days in a row. Yesterday we met up at a different place and hung for 3 hours. We only did about 1 hour of homework. Afterwards we listened to some music outside of her truck and just talked about random stuff.

I decided she was getting to comfortable with it so i decided to add some tension. I texted her later in the night saying "if you hang out with me you're going to get kissed. You've been warned"

We escalated a bit until finally at 11pm she called me. She talked to me about how she's so attracted to me and how she doesn't know what to do about it because no one has ever made her question her relationship with her boyfriend. I told her to stay with him because I wasn't looking for anything serious.

"I just want to have a good time. If you're looking to get married you should probably stay with your boyfriend. I'm probably going to move in a couple of years and unless you plan on following me around the world I'm not the guy you're gonna settle down with."

I think this made her even more interested because i was okay with shutting her out and moving on. That imminent fear of losing me set in. We talked till about 1am.

After lab today she texted me and asked if i could go over some stuff with her for an hour or so. Mind you, in the total 7 hours we've hung out only about 2 have been spent studying. Besides she definately doesn't need my help. She knows what she's doing.

Anyway, I'm trying to figure out the next step. Because if she becomes too comfortable with the situation it gets boring and interest is lost. I'm thinking i'm gonna tell her to come over but that i have a lotta stuff to do so she can't stay long (it's actually true). I'm pretty sure if I isolate her to be alone with me we're gonna jump the hell out of each other.

I'll update after tonight.

CPT
Author:  callmecaptain [ Wed Sep 17, 2008 12:59 am ]
Post subject: 
Oh snap!

I dunno what just happened but i think shit just got real.

I told her to come by at 6pm. Apparently she had a heart to heart with her boyfriend today and now she's going all quaker on me.

She said she wanted to come over and work on chemistry with me and that's it. She said she's just trying to be friends. I told her I don't define my relationships with people narrowly like that and that there are a lot of people that know chemistry and for her to contact one of them.

Her: "Why can't we just do chemistry together?"
Me: "You can't come into my house and tell me what I am and am not allowed to do"

She got really pissed and i calmly told her that she probably shouldn't talk to me for a while.

She's really F-ing mad! But i think it's because no one has ever told her they don't want to LJBF with her.

Uhh this could get wierd.

Here we go

CPT
Author:  Rome0 [ Wed Sep 17, 2008 2:52 am ]
Post subject: 
i think its going well dude, this may be that final hurdle for her, which is the hardest one. After that, i think shes all yours. Maintain the same frame you have this whole time, dont go soft now but also dont pressure her too much. Keep updating, im curious.

Good luck!
Author:  Fair Rose [ Wed Sep 17, 2008 4:18 am ]
Post subject: 
Nothing to say captian...your doing fine...just keep us posted.
Author:  TheGreenLantern [ Wed Sep 17, 2008 6:15 am ]
Post subject: 
im pretty interested. keep up the good work.
you have it in the bag my friend.
-GL
Author:  callmecaptain [ Wed Sep 17, 2008 7:01 am ]
Post subject: 
After my conversation with her I was pretty annoyed so I decided to go workout. I went for a swim for about 40 minutes. When I was gone I saw that I had one very long text from her. Here's what it said:

"Hey I'm sorry I just really like you as a person and I felt like you basically said take it or leave it you know?. I don't think we should not talk over something like this plus I'm pretty close with number 28! I wanted to go over it and maybe we can figure it out together! :)

So at this point I thought maybe I can accept her apology and reframe it so that I'm putting her in the LJBF zone.

So here's what I said:

Me: "I just got done swimming. Wanna meet up at ___ again? I could use a smart girl to study with."

Her: "It's kinda late but it's cool for like an hour. If you're cool with it i wanna meet at ___ at 8pm."

Me: "Yeah that works for me. I'll need to borrow your book. I don't have my stuff with me."

Blah blah blah... We meet up at 8:10 or so. We work on a few problems together and then I tell her:

Me: "We got pretty heated today."
Her: "Yeah dude i know! Right?" (she laughs in relief)

I throw out a fist for her to pound... "Truce?"

Her: "Yeah. Truce" (She turns red and smiles and does a fist pound back)
Me: "I'll be your friend" I say
Her: "I thought you don't like putting people into categories"
Me: "I don't"
Her: "You're making an exception for me?"
Me: "Yeah"
Her: "It's just that.."
Me: "You don't have to explain"

She just looked at me confused like she totally didn't expect me to say that. After we got done with hw we talked for a good hour or so about random stuff.

She walked with me to my car and we talked by my car for a bit. About 15 minutes after we left I got a text from her:

Her: "Thank you for helping me :) I know I pissed you off but you surprisingly got over it like instantly fast. So yeah, thanks :)"

Me: ;)

30 minutes later...

Her: "Don't stay up too late. Goodnight!"
Me: "night"

The situation has been de-escalated now and we're back into a comfort phase. But, from now on I'm goint to completely stop giving her a hard time. Up until now I have always flirted back with her, negged her and mixed C&F tactics when I can. Now i'm just going to be completely indifferent and not joke with her at all. Furthermore I'm going to sit by this HB10 I met in class the other day. I don't know what her story is, but I'll make it look like we're flirting and having a good time. Hell, maybe i'll just end up pulling her.

This should have the net effect of making her say. "Hey, why isn't he interested in me anymore?" at which point I'll explain that we're "just friends" and that's what I thought she wanted.

I don't want to be caught playing 2nd string boyfriend but to be honest after today I'm not even sure this is worth the effort. I'll try it out for the week, but i'll DEFINATELY keep my eyes open for other options and HBs to game on. It's the healthy thing to do.

Unfortunately I didn't get most of your responses until after all of this happened. It would've been nice to have read all of the positive feedback beforehand. Had that been the case I might have played a little tougher. I just wasn't sure if I was in the green or not.

Lemme know what you all think. Suggestions are appreciated.

CPT
Author:  Ohboyotellama [ Wed Sep 17, 2008 7:45 am ]
Post subject: 
This has been an interesting post for me to read especially since I have the same opinion most guys have been having and that opinion is that you are doing fine on your own man the fact that you are still asking us for advice like we have a magical txt you can send her makes me feel like you aren't as confident as you are projecting? (no offense intended)

Try push pull? Or maybe even stand her up? Those seem to work well for me when I find myself in similar situations.
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