PUA Forum :: What do you do when the target is involved in a conversation

Strong voice! HEY people, I need a quick female opinion on something!

Just do it like every other set but stronger.

I thought the question was about a set not in conversation with you but when you come in as an outsider. In that case it is just creepy to stand around listening to their conversation.
You first need to get their attention somehow and then run your opener!

Be interested in what they are talking about ask questions!, roll negs or jokes off some of the things they say like.."oh....so you're the weakest link (smiling/joking, so who is the best?" pull yourself into the conversation with comments/questions like this and soon they will be telling you their story.

If you're truly not interested in the topic...open a set of people you don't know. Excuse yourself (go to b-room etc) then on the way start up a convo with other ppl...then later go back to your friends or meld the groups together.

Ty for your question because i ahve been in the exact same place as you.

One time i was chilling with a group of friends and a few girls come over and talks to my approaches my buddy. I guess, he was looking alpha or something to have attracted them. But that is besides the point. What ends up happening is that he then has the attention of 2-3 girls all talkin to him about HIS new earing or whatevr and how nice it looks on HIM and im stuck not knowing waht to say.

Sometimes i try to crack a joke about his earing but msot of the time im simply at a loss for words.

I use to think that one of the girls was interested in me because of the fact that she would stand with her back towards me, or because of the fact that she has flashed a glance at me.

But im not really sure it seems to simply be her personallity, when her back is towards me and she is having a convo with my friend what do i do? i have said be before uh excuse me but lol i think my persona doesnt really work like for that, i am big and have a deep voice and doing and sometimes i think i come off as being intimidating.

Author:	Constantine00 [ Wed Aug 20, 2008 9:51 am ]
Post subject:	What do you do when the target is involved in a conversation
with others that you aren't a part of? For example, say the target and the other three people you are with are on a Volleyball team together and they are all talking about last weeks game and people you don't know. They are all excited and interested in their conversation so you can't change the subject, what do you do in this situation?? -Opiumsunrise

Author:	Ezo [ Wed Aug 20, 2008 9:57 am ]
Post subject:
Strong voice! HEY people, I need a quick female opinion on something! Just do it like every other set but stronger.

Author:	jurupa [ Wed Aug 20, 2008 10:55 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: Strong voice! HEY people, I need a quick female opinion on something! Just do it like every other set but stronger. That can very well repel the target away, which is a bad thing. Listening does a heck a lot more than someone leading the conservation. When I had similar conversations I will listen in and would ask questions about what they where talking about off and on. Or even say something. This way I was still part of the conversation. But at the same time allowing them to talk about it. Once the topic seems pretty much done I change the topic to something I can talk about.

Author:	soup [ Wed Aug 20, 2008 11:15 am ]
Post subject:
i agree jurupa, I would show a bit of genuine interest in the topic

Author:	Backfire [ Wed Aug 20, 2008 1:26 pm ]
Post subject:
If they are really enjoying their conversation then you are going to need a good opener. One that does not necessarily cancel out their conversation, but still gets your foot in the door. "Did I just hear you talking about nudie jelly wrestling?" Well maybe they weren't talking about nudie jelly wrestling, but you get me. And then you could lead into a shotgun neg, but make it soft, because if they are talking about something that they all love to do then negging it could really be a bad idea. Actually, you might want to test the water before using a shotgun neg there, give them something that they can give a response to first and see if a neg would fit. But really, if they are absolutely LOVING thier conversation, I would suggest using a pivot or aome other leverage point. It could be a hard set to bust into, and they may immediately anchor your face to being rude. I don't really know about this one, to tell you the truth.

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Author:	Ezo [ Wed Aug 20, 2008 1:42 pm ]
Post subject:
I thought the question was about a set not in conversation with you but when you come in as an outsider. In that case it is just creepy to stand around listening to their conversation. You first need to get their attention somehow and then run your opener!

Author:	Constantine00 [ Thu Aug 21, 2008 8:22 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: I thought the question was about a set not in conversation with you but when you come in as an outsider. In that case it is just creepy to stand around listening to their conversation. You first need to get their attention somehow and then run your opener! NO, what I'm asking about is if you know the people or have already opened the set and met all the people and you are ALREADY SITTING THERE WITH THEM and then they start talking about something you know nothing about. What do you do?

Author:	2extreem [ Thu Aug 21, 2008 8:47 pm ]
Post subject:
Be interested in what they are talking about ask questions!, roll negs or jokes off some of the things they say like.."oh....so you're the weakest link (smiling/joking, so who is the best?" pull yourself into the conversation with comments/questions like this and soon they will be telling you their story. If you're truly not interested in the topic...open a set of people you don't know. Excuse yourself (go to b-room etc) then on the way start up a convo with other ppl...then later go back to your friends or meld the groups together.

Author:	Constantine00 [ Fri Aug 22, 2008 3:04 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: Be interested in what they are talking about ask questions!, roll negs or jokes off some of the things they say like.."oh....so you're the weakest link (smiling/joking, so who is the best?" pull yourself into the conversation with comments/questions like this and soon they will be telling you their story. If you're truly not interested in the topic...open a set of people you don't know. Excuse yourself (go to b-room etc) then on the way start up a convo with other ppl...then later go back to your friends or meld the groups together. Well yeah, that's what I did as much as I could; ask them questions and stuff but I still felt like I was butting in kind of but maybe that is just because I'm not 100% confident with anything yet...

Author:	tret [ Fri Aug 22, 2008 3:47 am ]
Post subject:
Ty for your question because i ahve been in the exact same place as you. One time i was chilling with a group of friends and a few girls come over and talks to my approaches my buddy. I guess, he was looking alpha or something to have attracted them. But that is besides the point. What ends up happening is that he then has the attention of 2-3 girls all talkin to him about HIS new earing or whatevr and how nice it looks on HIM and im stuck not knowing waht to say. Sometimes i try to crack a joke about his earing but msot of the time im simply at a loss for words. I use to think that one of the girls was interested in me because of the fact that she would stand with her back towards me, or because of the fact that she has flashed a glance at me. But im not really sure it seems to simply be her personallity, when her back is towards me and she is having a convo with my friend what do i do? i have said be before uh excuse me but lol i think my persona doesnt really work like for that, i am big and have a deep voice and doing and sometimes i think i come off as being intimidating.

Author:	Constantine00 [ Fri Aug 22, 2008 7:53 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Ty for your question because i ahve been in the exact same place as you. One time i was chilling with a group of friends and a few girls come over and talks to my approaches my buddy. I guess, he was looking alpha or something to have attracted them. But that is besides the point. What ends up happening is that he then has the attention of 2-3 girls all talkin to him about HIS new earing or whatevr and how nice it looks on HIM and im stuck not knowing waht to say. Sometimes i try to crack a joke about his earing but msot of the time im simply at a loss for words. I use to think that one of the girls was interested in me because of the fact that she would stand with her back towards me, or because of the fact that she has flashed a glance at me. But im not really sure it seems to simply be her personallity, when her back is towards me and she is having a convo with my friend what do i do? i have said be before uh excuse me but lol i think my persona doesnt really work like for that, i am big and have a deep voice and doing and sometimes i think i come off as being intimidating. When you say "big" do you mean weight wise? I mean, I'm tall (6'4") BUT I'm thin, not quite 200lbs. Just curious. I guess it's because I always thought that if I was ever big weight wise, I'd wear baggy clothes and go wigger because you look at dudes like Big Pun and Biggy Smalls and they got girls and the baggy clothes looked good on them. I don't know. Just one mans opinion bro.

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