PUA Forum
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/

The Final Frontier: help us get through this one
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=25&t=25321
Page 1 of 2

Author:  Mr. Amador [ Thu Jul 24, 2008 2:37 pm ]
Post subject:  The Final Frontier: help us get through this one

OK...I took care of the girl's deparment in my life. Now I can attract them. And I've found a couple of them that are quality girls that I like for more than their looks. But there is an issue that most PUAs face after getting good at this: keeping relationships. I've never been in a relationship. I dont know how to deal with that emotions. The only "girlfriend" I ever had was like 5 years ago. And it was a short relationship...like 3 months. She was too hot for me, I couldnt deal with the competition with other dudes (jealousy) and feeling unconfident about myself. Also might be important to know when a relationship is becoming a obsessive one...you know keeping the whole thing healthy.

Many PUAs have experience similar stuff when they enter a relationship with a quality woman. Style is (or was) working on "relationship game" but I dont know were I cant find such training material. If anyone can halp me out (and others) with this one, I'll really appreciate it.

I hope this thread can be helpul for anyone wanting to learn relationships. And Ill post anything helpul on the subject.

Author:  Infamous110 [ Thu Jul 24, 2008 3:19 pm ]
Post subject: 

This is something I was thinking about over the last 24 hours actually. I feel quite fortunate to have not long gotten out of a mature 2 year relationship.

But it got me to thinking - generically when does one decide that they're exclusive, and isn't that hypocritical to preach women as sexual beings who want to express this, and then tie them to an exclusive ball-and-chain?

In terms of being IN a relationship - there's not too much differnt going on. What you'll find is that you simply just spend more time with that one person. You don't need to fill every silence with conversation, and you can (should) just enjoy each other's company.

I hope that what you'll have learned in gaining the first sentence will take care of your jealousy and confidence issues. You can bare in mind that you're significantly high-valued and all this competition is not going to help. Keeping yourself high-valued is really the only key - this means don't get lazy and stop going out, sit at home and watch chat shows while eating steak 3 times daily between beers.

Maintain your friends; your social circle, and don't neglect the other aspects of your life. Doing so is when your relationship begins to become an unhealthy obsession. As a result of this, you'll both get fat and hate each other :P

Author:  David~ [ Thu Jul 24, 2008 4:37 pm ]
Post subject: 

Hobbit is pro at this shit.

Basically all I can say is set down your values from the start and follow up on them.

Sexually pleasing a girl will make her happier and will make her be faithful to you. Do it right and she won't find another guy.

Investment. Get her to invest in you, emotionally, financially, and physically. Create powerful memories.


I reccomend David Shade's Manual for keeping a woman sexually happy. The rest is almost common sense.

Author:  Vixen [ Thu Jul 24, 2008 5:54 pm ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
Sexually pleasing a girl will make her happier and will make her be faithful to you. Do it right and she won't find another guy.

I could hardly agree more Beschatten, it is very important in a relationship that both side are sexually satisfied and pleased. Another important point is that you have to be able to be comfortable around each-other.

The first concerns with relationships must be dealt with inside the relationship once that is sorted out you can worry about the other guys trying to get your gf from you.

Author:  David~ [ Thu Jul 24, 2008 7:32 pm ]
Post subject: 

Gracias. Props to Hobbit on that one.

Author:  feff [ Thu Jul 24, 2008 7:54 pm ]
Post subject: 

First thing you should clear up is if your goals and your values are the same.


I'll try to break down my relationship which lasted 2 years.

Basically she wanted to escalate the relationship, and do the real deal - marriage, kids etc. And I'm feeling I still have a lot to learn about myself, life, and other people and not even sure that I even want kids...

You need to make sure she's invested in you, and likewise you to her. My main issue was that she was well invested in me, but I wasn't invested in her, and that was a major turnoff for me, i lost the attraction to her. And that is one of the reasons im learning the game now - to learn more about attraction.

Personally I have taken the belief that relationships doesn't need to last to be great, but I'll let Chief explain that, since he is more articulate than me. (see Ask Chief page 1 replying to Hobbit)

Author:  Cloak&Swagger [ Thu Jul 24, 2008 7:57 pm ]
Post subject: 

I don't have anything to add about how to improve relationships, but it shouldn't be thought of as the final frontier.

The endgame of pickup doesn't have to be a LTR, though I see plenty of PUAs who think this way. A guru once asked someone what they hoped to get from pickup and he replied "a relationship." The guru responded, "Why would you want one of those?"

Personally, the "final frontier" for me is having a phone book full of girls I can call who will drop what they're doing and come hook up. All the benefits of a relationship and none of the hassle.

Author:  Illusun [ Thu Jul 24, 2008 8:38 pm ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
I don't have anything to add about how to improve relationships, but it shouldn't be thought of as the final frontier.

The endgame of pickup doesn't have to be a LTR, though I see plenty of PUAs who think this way. A guru once asked someone what they hoped to get from pickup and he replied "a relationship." The guru responded, "Why would you want one of those?"

Personally, the "final frontier" for me is having a phone book full of girls I can call who will drop what they're doing and come hook up. All the benefits of a relationship and none of the hassle.
Well, it seems that RedMoles endgame IS to have a LTR and I praise him for that.

One simple way to breakdown the difference between PUA and LTR is this. In PUA, the goal is to have between 80% and 100% control over the entire relationship. In a LTR, the goal is to have between 55% and 70% control of the relationship. Guys that get dumped let the girl have more than 50% control.

You have to walk a fine line between being a strong male in control of himself, his life and his care for others and treating the one your with like your equal.

Some say that the difference between PUA and LTR is when transitioning to LTR you keep doing what you've been doing verbally but your actions must change in a way that meets her needs and desires as well as yours (as long as you maintain that 55+% status quo)

Author:  Mr. Amador [ Fri Jul 25, 2008 12:20 am ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
Well, it seems that RedMoles endgame IS to have a LTR and I praise him for that.
Thanks dude.

One of the things I value is people that knows where they are and where are they going. Its important to know who are you and what do you want for yourself.

I want a LTR, and there are few resources to learn about that, and even less examples (Think about your parents, do you want something like that?).

If someone else wants a harem of girls, cool, thats where he's going. Good luck figuring out the logistics.

I call it the Final Frontier because its a lot like space for PUAs, its unknown. Maybe you dont want to be an "astronaut", but LTRs are the final frontier for a lot of us, so dont mess with our goals! :P .

Author:  David~ [ Fri Jul 25, 2008 1:16 am ]
Post subject: 

That was my endgame goal as well. Until I learned what PU can do. Instead of being the boyfriend that got cheated on, I was the affair-ee. I like where I am.

Author:  Illusun [ Sat Jul 26, 2008 6:55 pm ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
That was my endgame goal as well. Until I learned what PU can do. Instead of being the boyfriend that got cheated on, I was the affair-ee. I like where I am.
So you're the bullied who turns into the bully. Hey, whatever does it for you, I hope its fulfilling.

Author:  john deere [ Sun Jul 27, 2008 6:55 am ]
Post subject: 

Great post! This is also something that I have wondered about while studying PU.

Author:  magnum45 [ Sun Jul 27, 2008 7:28 pm ]
Post subject: 

I'm following traditional values to find a wife. This power over women is too great for disiplined use. Absolute power corrupts absolutly.

I have never mastered these arts. I have barley tapped into them.

Author:  Infamous110 [ Tue Jul 29, 2008 3:30 am ]
Post subject: 

Here's some food for thought.
Quote:
Having a girlfriend can be a dangerous thing. We become too dependent on our woman for our happiness, and then if we get dumped, we find that we've all of a sudden lost our confidence. This results in being without sex for many months, until we finally get a girlfriend again, and... the cycle repeats.

So to break this cycle, we need to REMAIN the attractive guy, the alpha male.

You see, relationships can make us guys too lazy (since the sex is so easy) and we lose that "high value" mindset. It's crucial to keep that alpha male frame of mind that says, "I am like a Lamborghini."

Do Lamborghini dealerships grovel to try to get people to like them? Of course not. Instead they allow all the buyers to come to them. Hell, Lamborghini doesn't even advertise. As a man, you should have a similar confident mindset if you want to maximize the attraction your girlfriend feels for you.

So, how do you keep that alpha mindset? First and foremost, avoid chasing your girlfriend like a puppy dog. A basic concept which will prevent her from ever treating you badly is what I call Punishment and Reward.

If a woman engages in behavior which you disapprove of, punish her by withdrawing your time and focusing on something (or someone) else. If she does something you like (such as having sex with you), reward her by giving her more of your time, talking about her feelings, etc.

So whenever you do something nice for her, do it because you're rewarding her. And DO reward her good behavior, if you want more of it. Like I said, Punishment and Reward.

Then there's the issue of being a challenge. Women act sweet when you're a challenge to them. They act bitchy when they take you for granted and no longer feel like they need put out effort to win your affections.

Often by around month 6 in a relationship is when a woman really starts to take a guy for granted, so avoid that by remaining a challenge.

So the solution to remaining the attractive, alpha guy in your relationships is threefold:

1. Always be willing to focus your time on things other than your girlfriend. Don't reward her for acting bitchy by continuing to be around her when she does. On the other hand, too, reward her for good behavior by giving her more of your time when she acts sweet.

2. Always have it in the back of your mind that you could end the relationship at any time. Don't explicitly threaten her with that, but just make it a subtle implication. That way she'll never become truly comfortable with the relationship and will keep working to win you.

3. Always allow her to think that's she's just a little bit more interested in you than you are in her. Again, this can be very subtle, but if (for example) you're telling her 20 times a day that you love her, and she's only telling you that twice, then obviously the situation is badly out of whack.

Author:  Mr. Amador [ Tue Jul 29, 2008 6:24 pm ]
Post subject: 

Thats the kind of stuff we need on this thread. Thanks Infamous110.

But that punishment-reward thing can easly fit into manipulation. And if you want to have a healthy relationship, for me Its a good idea to be open about things. Since I've never been in a LTR, when a chick acted in a way I disapprove, I just dump her. I dont take bullshit from anyone. But when you find someone with the same points of view about the world, you can actually agree on the basics of whats good and bad. There's a way of being open about things? Cause I can manipulate her, but I dont want to. Maybe I'm being way too idealistic, but we al got into Pick Up because of our desire of having better stuff on our life.

Page 1 of 2 All times are UTC
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group
http://www.phpbb.com/