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What's so bad about one-itis?
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Author:  Simpua [ Tue Jul 15, 2008 3:07 pm ]
Post subject:  What's so bad about one-itis?
Recently I met this girl through a friend, she's smart, funny, beautiful and we get along great. I got her number and we have plans to go out this Sunday.

Currently I am seeing 2 other women, but I find myself thinking more about this date on Sunday and looking forward to seeing her again. Therefore I believe I have one-itis, and it's a beautiful thing.

Isn't the goal of a relationship such that both partners are seduced by the other? I've done so much seducing lately where women were completely into me that I almost forgot what it was like to be seduced in turn. Sure I was having fun being with them, but I wasn't falling in love with them. I feel like a one-itis is just a term we have for where we are seduced rather than the norm of us being the seducers.

A lot of us are forgetting that the most enjoyable relationships involve a mutual seduction on both partners. :)
Author:  Risen [ Tue Jul 15, 2008 3:29 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: What's so bad about one-itis?
Quote:
Recently I met this girl through a friend, she's smart, funny, beautiful and we get along great. I got her number and we have plans to go out this Sunday.

Currently I am seeing 2 other women, but I find myself thinking more about this date on Sunday and looking forward to seeing her again. Therefore I believe I have one-itis, and it's a beautiful thing.
It seems like ur situation is not even one-itis. You said yourself that you are seeing 2 other people. The correct meaning of one-itis is a girl that your obsessed with or can't stop thinking about...too much for your own well-being. It can really mess up someone's life especially if they are an AFC. Being in love with 'the one' and then losing that can have painful consequences. One-itis is quite a bad and common symptom of dating so us guys in the pick up community try to help each other with this problem.
Author:  TheAce [ Tue Jul 15, 2008 3:46 pm ]
Post subject: 
I wouldn't call this one-itis. Most people regard it as a fixation for someone you are not dating, and you have plans with this girl for a date.
Author:  Cloak&Swagger [ Tue Jul 15, 2008 4:35 pm ]
Post subject: 
Oneitis is placing too much importance on any one opportunity, whether you're dating her or have never spoken too her. It's ok to be excited about your date but the reason oneitis is bad is because you become so enamored and obsessed with her that you'll unintentionally telegraph neediness, clinginess and desperation.
Author:  Simpua [ Tue Jul 15, 2008 7:14 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thanks for clearing up my misconceptions on the definition of one-itis. Regardless, the main point of my post is that a lot of us are forgetting that the most enjoyable relationships involve a mutual seduction on both partners. I just felt like pointing this out to everyone. :)
Author:  Rye Lee [ Tue Jul 15, 2008 8:55 pm ]
Post subject: 
Being seduced by the other person is the best thing about a relationship and I'm glad to see you're going places Sim.

Like those guys said, you're in healthy relationships from the sound of it, one-itis is when one person is obsessed over the other and it isn't reciprocated. If you think of her all the time and pursue her, but she doesn't think of you or call you, then it's one-itis, but if you think of her all the time and she thinks of you all the time, then it's just a good relationship.
Author:  TheAce [ Tue Jul 15, 2008 9:11 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Oneitis is placing too much importance on any one opportunity, whether you're dating her or have never spoken too her. It's ok to be excited about your date but the reason oneitis is bad is because you become so enamored and obsessed with her that you'll unintentionally telegraph neediness, clinginess and desperation.
Dating her would mean the feelling is reciprocated, so one-itis would not be in play here. Just to clear that up.
Author:  Roland [ Wed Jul 16, 2008 12:01 am ]
Post subject: 
Nothing lasts forever. That's why I avoid one-itis.
Author:  David~ [ Wed Jul 16, 2008 12:15 pm ]
Post subject: 
Nothing lasts forever but be grateful for the opportunity to experience something beautiful. focus on the present to create a strong future.

peace love hiphop.
Author:  Ezo [ Wed Jul 16, 2008 4:10 pm ]
Post subject: 
I agree, you do not have One-itis.

It is easy to confuse this with feeling exited to meet a girl for the second date for example... Or to actually be in love, which is a mutual thing most of the time.

One-itis is by definition bad. It is when you cannot get over the rejection you got from (insert girl name here). Or when you are obsessed with a girl who only plays with you (I know that feeling believe me).

Bad stuff:
You lose control.
She gains control.
You lose value.
You put her on a pedistal.
Basically you crawl for her.
Author:  puanumpty [ Wed Jul 16, 2008 9:20 pm ]
Post subject: 
To be fair in my understanding one-it-is is where a guy meets ONE girl and thats it... life stops and becomes non-existant... Everything revolves around that girl.

I have no shame in admitting that before I discovered the game I used to find a girl, say at work. Then you'd do everything to be part of this girl's life until either you find out shes got a BF or she says LJBF or says shes not interested you'd just say cool and then always "be there" hoping to get some... that in my understanding is one-it-is ... getting into a mindset where shes the only person that exists to you and that if she said " i need a lift home " you'd drop everything and do it. Because shes "the one".

I would say if your gaming 3 but looking forward to this one moreso than all the others, theres nothing about one-it-is it just means you like her more and would like more than just a one-night-stand with her. Theres nothing wrong with that, unless obviously it doesnt go too great and you text/call her all the time and cant stop talking/thinking about her... then thats where it sets in because you might sit around waiting for her and not going to meet others so thats "the one"...

I'm in that mindset at the moment, but I've got rid of the one-it-is by seeing others while this ones away on holiday but im more intrigued by the game we're both playing... either I've got her so hooked she keeps feeling the need to text me things like "im just getting on the plane I'll see you in a week" or shes texting me things like that to throw me the odd crumb to keep me interested ... but anyway instead of being ingulfed by her, I just find it interesting and a challenge to work her out by doing things similar that conveys IODs and watching her response... its exactly that "A Game" ...

Hope that might help someone
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