PUA Forum :: Pay for her or not?

Ok, I got this really sweet HB8 girl who's added me to myspace - I met her one night but didn't complete the number close (I basically said no, I don't have my phone and fucked it up... don't ask why) but it seems like it built attraction as she must've searched for me, especially as there's no way she could guess the spelling of my name. Anyway.

I plan to say something along the lines of "I have some free time on friday, plan on going shoppin, are you up for it?"

Is that the best way of wording it? I'm trying to make it seem like I'm busy (friday = free time), and I'm going regardless (don't need her, not needy) but I also invite her along.

Also, she's from the US and studying in the UK for a few months. If she comes along, she'll probably be spending £15/$30 just for the transport, another £8/$15 for food and then I'm not sure if she'll spend much on clothes. When we last spoke, we were discussing areas/money/social class, and she mentioned she saved every last penny to stay on this trip. So should I pay for her transport and food? (note: we'll be getting a train so we'll be buying the tickets together, so it won't be like I'll be giving her money in her hand or anything) Should I buy her anything if I feel like it? She's a nice girl, not the gold digger type, but still. There's a lot wrong with paying for things for a girl - what do you guys think I should do?

Author:	VitalEyes [ Tue Feb 06, 2007 4:54 pm ]
Post subject:	Pay for her or not?
Ok, I got this really sweet HB8 girl who's added me to myspace - I met her one night but didn't complete the number close (I basically said no, I don't have my phone and fucked it up... don't ask why) but it seems like it built attraction as she must've searched for me, especially as there's no way she could guess the spelling of my name. Anyway. I plan to say something along the lines of "I have some free time on friday, plan on going shoppin, are you up for it?" Is that the best way of wording it? I'm trying to make it seem like I'm busy (friday = free time), and I'm going regardless (don't need her, not needy) but I also invite her along. Also, she's from the US and studying in the UK for a few months. If she comes along, she'll probably be spending £15/$30 just for the transport, another £8/$15 for food and then I'm not sure if she'll spend much on clothes. When we last spoke, we were discussing areas/money/social class, and she mentioned she saved every last penny to stay on this trip. So should I pay for her transport and food? (note: we'll be getting a train so we'll be buying the tickets together, so it won't be like I'll be giving her money in her hand or anything) Should I buy her anything if I feel like it? She's a nice girl, not the gold digger type, but still. There's a lot wrong with paying for things for a girl - what do you guys think I should do?

Author:	MindFucker [ Tue Feb 06, 2007 7:40 pm ]
Post subject:
if you have money - you can spend them on her. Else maybe try to meet somewhere else

Author:	M [ Wed Feb 07, 2007 8:04 am ]
Post subject:
Hi VitalEyes, In my culture, it's very clear what the answer to your question is. If you don't like the girl, you don't need to pay for her. If you like the girl and are courting her, I would pay for her dinners and dates, especially the first few dates. It's a double DHV in that it shows you're a gentleman and are well off. But please, don't be paying for common things like tires, milk, train rides, and shit like that. She gotta take care of herself. If she expects it from you, throw away the number. It's so crystal clear to me. Respectfully, M

Author:	requiem [ Wed Feb 07, 2007 4:41 pm ]
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personally, i'll pay for food. it's just my style. but i wait until she pulls her wallet out to pay for herself, then i'll take her hands and close her wallet in them and be like "what're you doing? put that away!". i have trouble with initiating kino and this is one of my better methods for that, and it allows her to show she's capable herself, but then you can be a nice guy and DHV her.

Author:	Impact [ Thu Feb 08, 2007 1:29 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: Ok, I got this really sweet HB8 girl who's added me to myspace - I met her one night but didn't complete the number close (I basically said no, I don't have my phone and fucked it up... don't ask why) but it seems like it built attraction as she must've searched for me, especially as there's no way she could guess the spelling of my name. Anyway. I plan to say something along the lines of "I have some free time on friday, plan on going shoppin, are you up for it?" Is that the best way of wording it? I'm trying to make it seem like I'm busy (friday = free time), and I'm going regardless (don't need her, not needy) but I also invite her along. Also, she's from the US and studying in the UK for a few months. If she comes along, she'll probably be spending £15/$30 just for the transport, another £8/$15 for food and then I'm not sure if she'll spend much on clothes. When we last spoke, we were discussing areas/money/social class, and she mentioned she saved every last penny to stay on this trip. So should I pay for her transport and food? (note: we'll be getting a train so we'll be buying the tickets together, so it won't be like I'll be giving her money in her hand or anything) Should I buy her anything if I feel like it? She's a nice girl, not the gold digger type, but still. There's a lot wrong with paying for things for a girl - what do you guys think I should do? plan on going shoppin, are you up for it?" Dude be careful thats not alpha male, why are you asking her? don' t ask her dude! say something like ' Im going shopping this friday, i need a sidekick, ive chosen you! you to be my most trusty one! than go into routine '. Is that the best way of wording it? I've had to cancel some plans for this Friday, but i need some time off, im sick of constantly being the center of attention and getting people to look up to me! so ill be heading to this amazing place where i always relax, and get some coffeee mmm, so hows the weather? (eventually invite her after you talk up the place). Also, she's from the US and studying in the UK for a few months. If she comes along, she'll probably be spending £15/$30 just for the transport, another £8/$15 for food and then I'm not sure if she'll spend much on clothes. When we last spoke, we were discussing areas/money/social class, and she mentioned she saved every last penny to stay on this trip. Dude don't talk to a girl on those level, its too much, keep it very simple and playfull, your worth whatever shes paying, whats this bullshit! get her to move her ass down there pronto, your a busy man! note: we'll be getting a train so we'll be buying the tickets together, so it won't be like I'll be giving her money in her hand or anything) Should I buy her anything if I feel like it? She's a nice girl, not the gold digger type, but still. There's a lot wrong with paying for things for a girl - what do you guys think I should do? Ask her if she has enough money for the ticket, if she says yes, than don't pay. Pay for some food, but put a limit on her. Like when i go out i buy a girl ice cream thats like bux and thats her limit! enough to not make me seem 'cheap'. Just some thoughts -Impact

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Author:	Custom [ Thu Feb 08, 2007 5:33 pm ]
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No pay, no pay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Author:	VitalEyes [ Thu Feb 08, 2007 7:07 pm ]
Post subject:
Damn Impact, that really made... an impact (ya, that was shameful, I should be banned) Anyway, here's an update, for what it's worth: Me, message #1 thought i got rid of you bloody yanks... uhh... i mean bloody americans!! (she had a go at me for calling her a yank, so I teased her with it) so whats up? i have some free time during saturday... planning to go out and get sisters pressie... would appreciate some advice if youre up for it HB8, message #2 how have you been mister? haven't seen you in a while. i'll be in liverpool saturday, but what does your sister like? Me, message #3 that's ok, it was mainly stuff to do with new york, should be ok with what ive got. i would try and find some time next week or weekend... but 'little miss popular' will probably be off to manchester or newcastle. tsk tsk. I've yet to get a reply, but it says she's read the message. I know that she had planned to go to Liverpool long before - so she's not blowing me off or anything, it's part of her course (she went to London for the weekend a few weeks ago). At first when I got her reply, I thought she wasn't interested. But then I read 'I haven't seen you in a while' = she wants to see me again and then 'but what does your sister like' = she still wants to help - would you guys agree or am I wasting my time with a subtle case of one-itus? ;]

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