PUA Forum :: ??? Grrrr

Ummm... I'm not overly thrilled about you recruiting my models. I'll be honest. First of all, they are my girlfriends and they trust me, so that's why they model for me. They have expressed some apprehension in random people approaching them about free modeling services. So I'm kind of annoyed. Second of all, they are my future clients and for obvious reasons recruiting them would be a conflict of interest.

I don't think your intentions were invasive, but I do feel I need to address it before it becomes a habit.

Thanks,
nichole

Also, I guess this is just one of a few other instances where people have either tried to contact my friends or add them as "friends" (does creeper Andy Dullum ring a bell?) themselves and so this is obviously a concern. Sorry if I seem confrontational about it- it's not my intention to be rude, but like I said... I would much rather address it now before it gets out of hand.

Andy Dullum went to college with us. He was like the class creeper. Everyone joked about it. Apparently he tried to add a bunch of my girlfriends and they were like, "WTF...I don't know this person"

And Calvin, I wasn't trying to be confrontational or rude at all. I hope you understand. I totally don't think you meant any harm by it at all. I need you to know that. It is nothing personal against you at all. I think you're a good guy!... But as my friends have approached me about it, I felt I should address it. And like I said. Business is business... and although it is for portfolio for you (I'm assuming)... well? They're still my clients and y'know....? I think if you thought about it, you would understand my standpoint and how that has the potential to turn out messy... and I would hate for that to happen. Or maybe next time just ask me first before going ahead with that. You should ask some of the girls from college if they'd do it... they probably will! Monika's pretty flexible that way... Andrea Webster....I myself have modeled in several people's photo-shoots too. I don't know. I'm just spitting out random names. It's definitely something to keep in mind though if you plan on running your own business... the goal is to develop your own networks without interfering with other people's clients...it's a big No-No in our industry. It can result in some bad reps. and ironically work against you than FOR you. Anyways! Like I said- no hard feelings. I hope you understand.

Author:	xLINKx [ Sat May 10, 2008 2:13 am ]
Post subject:	??? Grrrr
This has been bugging me for all today and I can't figure out why. I don't think I've done any harm or anything weird at all.... but I just get this bitch shield from a girl I went to college with a few years ago... Maybe the situation was just out of my control and there's nothing I could do about it? I don't know guys, I am just really mad over the whole subject. I saw the girl's modeling photo on her page and asked if she was an actual model (she had great looks, great pose). The response was "no, she's just a friend of mine". I replied that I was looking for models for my photography projects. I then messaged the model girl and told her who I was, that I was a friend of the girl, and what I do in school, etc. and asked her if she was interested in modeling. No pressure, she could just give a yes or no response and I'd leave it at that. Then I get this message probably a week after: Quote: Ummm... I'm not overly thrilled about you recruiting my models. I'll be honest. First of all, they are my girlfriends and they trust me, so that's why they model for me. They have expressed some apprehension in random people approaching them about free modeling services. So I'm kind of annoyed. Second of all, they are my future clients and for obvious reasons recruiting them would be a conflict of interest. I don't think your intentions were invasive, but I do feel I need to address it before it becomes a habit. Thanks, nichole Also, I guess this is just one of a few other instances where people have either tried to contact my friends or add them as "friends" (does creeper Andy Dullum ring a bell?) themselves and so this is obviously a concern. Sorry if I seem confrontational about it- it's not my intention to be rude, but like I said... I would much rather address it now before it gets out of hand. Andy Dullum went to college with us. He was like the class creeper. Everyone joked about it. Apparently he tried to add a bunch of my girlfriends and they were like, "WTF...I don't know this person" And Calvin, I wasn't trying to be confrontational or rude at all. I hope you understand. I totally don't think you meant any harm by it at all. I need you to know that. It is nothing personal against you at all. I think you're a good guy!... But as my friends have approached me about it, I felt I should address it. And like I said. Business is business... and although it is for portfolio for you (I'm assuming)... well? They're still my clients and y'know....? I think if you thought about it, you would understand my standpoint and how that has the potential to turn out messy... and I would hate for that to happen. Or maybe next time just ask me first before going ahead with that. You should ask some of the girls from college if they'd do it... they probably will! Monika's pretty flexible that way... Andrea Webster....I myself have modeled in several people's photo-shoots too. I don't know. I'm just spitting out random names. It's definitely something to keep in mind though if you plan on running your own business... the goal is to develop your own networks without interfering with other people's clients...it's a big No-No in our industry. It can result in some bad reps. and ironically work against you than FOR you. Anyways! Like I said- no hard feelings. I hope you understand. Quote: Calvin Wallace Today at 5:25pm No I understand. I'm sorry for the trouble, I didn't know. Am I in the wrong here? Is my networking methods really so wrong??? I really don't know how photography industry works yet, since I haven't gotten into the real world with my career. If I had known, I would have simply asked Nichole (but I thought my intentions had already been made clear when I asked about her). Did I simply run into the "mother hen" of her social group? A simple response from the modeling girl would have been nice also. Just simple "yes" or "no thanks" would have been sufficient. Instead she just never responded and went and talked to her friends about "the creepy calvin guy who wants me to model for him".... FUCK OFF

Author:	Hopeless Romantic [ Sat May 10, 2008 6:31 am ]
Post subject:
Perhaps another way to look at this is they are models. Therefore, they are most likely very good looking and probably get hit on a lot. So when someone they don't know asks them to do a photoshoot they get a little concerned. I feel that you're friends response was a little harsh though. I think you should have talked to her first to see if she could give you some names of people to contact. This way she knows your intentions and she can talk to the other party before hand so they know that this is legit.

Author:	Invincible [ Sat May 10, 2008 6:47 am ]
Post subject:
fuck her you shoulda been a little bit more alpha about it and not a push over especially sinc ethis isn't really in the game category and more in the life and buisness category, she doens't own these girls they can make their own decision she feels threatened that she might lose some potential clients to you. She obviously ahs a weak self-esteem and perhaps insecurities about her work because if she didn't she would never act that way. Brush her off and if you want to use them for work then use them, Your networking skills were fine seriously so ignore that crap she gave you. and don't apolgize so easily in the future man you didnt' do shit wrong.

Author:	Zip [ Sat May 10, 2008 8:44 am ]
Post subject:
I don't know the in's and out's of your particular situation... but that's not a bitch shield. That's a woman giving you a fair warning about stealing clientele. It is considered incredibly rude and backhanded to network though other photographers rather than on your own, though she should have gotten a clue because you were so up-front about your intentions. Whatever, I'm not quite sure how this fits in with game rather than just a weird networking/business thing. This isn't a bitch shield. It's not a shit test. She's not putting it out there for you to deal with or pass so she can grade you as a potential mate... she's pissed you tried to steal a model but is explaining she's not trying to be rude because she believes you had good intentions. period.

Author:	Rye Lee [ Sat May 10, 2008 9:31 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: I don't know the in's and out's of your particular situation... but that's not a bitch shield. That's a woman giving you a fair warning about stealing clientele. It is considered incredibly rude and backhanded to network though other photographers rather than on your own, though she should have gotten a clue because you were so up-front about your intentions. Whatever, I'm not quite sure how this fits in with game rather than just a weird networking/business thing. This isn't a bitch shield. It's not a shit test. She's not putting it out there for you to deal with or pass so she can grade you as a potential mate... she's pissed you tried to steal a model but is explaining she's not trying to be rude because she believes you had good intentions. period. Agreed. This is a definitely business issue and is considered to be a huge misconduct with people in businesses like photography/modeling, or where clients are generally totally or partially exclusive. If I told you that your buddy George was a student of mine and was thinking about taking a workshop of mine, then you approached him about attending one of your workshops without asking me first, you may end up robbing me of a client. She's obviously had it happen before and she wants to make it clear to you the severity of the issue in order to help you avoid it in the future. It comes across as rude and even bitchy, because it is such a serious issue that she is passionate about, just like when someone gives you a harsh lecture and tells you it's because they care about you; it still stings and you feel a bit taken aback, but you don't underestimate to importance of the lesson, or forget it. Take the fact that she offered you names of girls that probably would model, even including HERSELF, to be a compliment and maybe even an IOI, although I wouldn't read that much into it without knowing more about her and your relationship. Finally, I'd recommend to you, that if another person tells you about their models, you ask them about approaching them first and if a girl mentions she's a model, or you find out she is and want to ask her to model for you, you ask if she's attached/working for/with any photographers and if so, whether you could talk to them, or at the very least, if they think it would be a problem if they modeled for you as well. Welcome to the world of corp-speak and red-tape, it's what seperates the professionals from the amatures.

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Author:	xLINKx [ Sat May 10, 2008 9:47 am ]
Post subject:
Thanks guys, your responses were just exactly what I needed to hear and make sense of things. I've still got a lot to learn about taking game skills to my job... I'd rather be direct and get things done fast, instead of getting girls to talk to them first and stuff... but I suppose that's the best way to get comfort.

Author:	Rye Lee [ Sat May 10, 2008 9:56 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: Thanks guys, your responses were just exactly what I needed to hear and make sense of things. I've still got a lot to learn about taking game skills to my job... I'd rather be direct and get things done fast, instead of getting girls to talk to them first and stuff... but I suppose that's the best way to get comfort. That's a big thing with modeling, you need to make them very comfortable. Practically ditch attraction and just go mainly comfort, only using attraction as a way to leverage feeling/emotion about the artistic side of it.

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