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| Unfreezing someone https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=25&t=21309 |
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| Author: | Z [ Sun May 04, 2008 1:14 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Unfreezing someone |
Ok, so I have this female friend who I have known for the longest time. I always concidered her an extremely close friend. However, about a year ago or so, she became a MAJOR pothead. Her personality completelly changed. One of the things she started doing is becoming really negative towards me. Every time we hung out and I would tell her about one of my opcoming projects, she would say stuff like"are you still doing your little shows" or "are you still doing that music thingy'. (most of the shows I promote are in small arenas for about 3-5 thousand people, so they arent that small) anyways, she would always make me feel kinda bad about myself, and she would completely distroy my frame. I never know what to do about it. Untill i got into the community. As soon as learned this, I realized, If i froze her out, she would realize she had done something wrong and would start being nicer. This was working perfectly, untill my dumbass friend told her what I was doing. That just made her extremely mad, and for a while she was very angry at me. But like a week ago, she started calling all my friends and asking them if I was mad as her for something and that she was sad I wasnt talking to her. So i guess even with my friends screw up, the freeze out still somwhat worked. The thing is, I havent spoen to her in about 6 or 7 weeks. Now that I think she's seeking my attention and aproval, I dont know how to unfreeze her without thing being hella ackward and without me having to explain why I wasnt talking to her. So, if anyone has any ideas or advise, please ler me hear it. -Zeus |
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| Author: | Rye Lee [ Sun May 04, 2008 8:13 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
I see no reason why you can't explain why you weren't talking to her. She was getting you down, she wasn't being the same friend that you used to have, so you distanced yourself. Not a big deal, she realised that when she stopped being pissed off after your friend told her the plot. I wouldn't welcome her back with open arms, but I'd let her tag along with you somewhere and if she behaves, then you can give her a little more rope and a little more, see if she hangs herself with it. If she has truly realised that she's being a bitch and wants to retain the friendship, then she won't continue on the path she was on before. You just have to let her know when she does cross the line, because it's bound to happen, but whether she makes the effort not to cross it again, is what determines whether she's learned her lesson. |
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| Author: | Z [ Mon May 05, 2008 7:33 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Thanks rye. I guess im just gonna try to talk to her. I was kinda hoping to avoid the probable argument to come, but i'll just try to make her understand why I did what i did. Thanks. -Zeus |
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| Author: | Rye Lee [ Mon May 05, 2008 9:51 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Quote: Thanks rye. I guess im just gonna try to talk to her. I was kinda hoping to avoid the probable argument to come, but i'll just try to make her understand why I did what i did. Thanks.
The trick to not having an argument arise, is not getting too emotional over it, stay unreactive. Be assured that you made the right decision and keep that mindset, just don't flaunt it, be humble and understand that your actions did hurt her, but that wasn't your intention.
-Zeus |
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