PUA Forum
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/

How to help a girl with low self-esteem?
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=25&t=20849		 Page 1 of 2
Author:  NOILLUSION [ Thu Apr 24, 2008 7:18 am ]
Post subject:  How to help a girl with low self-esteem?
I've been pondering this lately, I met this girl who has low self-esteem, and I really want to help her realize a better self-image of herself. Should I like, teach her The Game? lol. Or some inner game?
What are your opinions/suggestions on this?
Author:  BlueRed [ Thu Apr 24, 2008 8:42 am ]
Post subject: 
If shes above a 7 you neg her, if shes below you dont't!
Author:  Mr Fahrenheit [ Thu Apr 24, 2008 8:52 am ]
Post subject: 
A neg isnt an insult, its a show of disinterest.

Dont get it confused for what its not, its designed to let your 'target' know that you are NOT persuing her. A god neg will have the 'target' thinking.

'ohh, ok its pretty clear that this guy isnt trying to get sex from me'

Thus leaving her difused and more likely to open up and let you in so you can get sex from her. :)
Author:  NOILLUSION [ Thu Apr 24, 2008 9:08 am ]
Post subject: 
can you give me some good examples of a neg? Like, some good negs that you've actually used before. The line is just so blurry that I confuse neg with teasing.

Anyway, I meant how can I personally help this girl who has self-esteem problems. Get her to approach random guys?
Author:  Krylon [ Thu Apr 24, 2008 10:30 am ]
Post subject: 
DO NOT neg her. You said she has self esteem issues. You only neg HB's that are not lacking self esteem. To neg this girl would be a mistake and probably the end of her friendship with you if you chose an inappropriate neg (although they are all inappropriate for the situation).



I'd write some more but I've got to jet to class.

Good luck.
Author:  Fiction dTAJIr8v [ Thu Apr 24, 2008 11:10 am ]
Post subject:  Re: How to help a girl with low self-esteem?
Quote:
I've been pondering this lately, I met this girl who has low self-esteem, and I really want to help her realize a better self-image of herself. Should I like, teach her The Game? lol.
What are your opinions/suggestions on this?
Why would you teach her the Game? It is designed for men to get women, not the other way around. There is some crossover, but mainly a girl's Game is being hot and fun to be with.

If she has low self-esteem she should get therapy or look into the plethora of self-help.
Author:  bucks [ Thu Apr 24, 2008 12:01 pm ]
Post subject: 
I was dating this girl for a year before learning the game and even then i used to neg her a lot, she was a HB7.5 id say, she used to always say i was "mean" to her but she really loved it.... why ? because even before knowing the game i treated her differently to the way every other guy did..

Long story short i started meeting her a month ago, 3 months after the breakup and one night i said she had big hips (messing of course coz her body is fit!) anyway she flipped and hasnt talked to me since, that was over a week ago.. she will be back for more though 8)

So be very carefull with your girl !
Author:  delta4ce [ Thu Apr 24, 2008 2:10 pm ]
Post subject: 
:?: :?: :?: I have no idea why people were suggesting that you neg her.. thats a terrible idea for someone who has low self esteem

it didn't sound to me like you actually want to game her, just that you want to help her

if that's the case, just be a nice guy -- give her some affirmations, and take a second to say hi to her, and ask her how she's doing -- there's no need to apply PUA rules in helping out someone that you just want to make feel better
a lot of times low self esteem is a result of perceived self-worthlessness-- so show her how she has self worth: like i said, you can do this with affirmations or just by showing her that you and other people value her
Author:  Killians [ Thu Apr 24, 2008 2:11 pm ]
Post subject: 
You cant really do anything. People with low self esteem cannot see their positive qualities. Compliments usually don't help since they only interpret it negatively such as thinking you have an ulterior motive. She has to be willing to change herself and accept the things she cannot change. Having confidence is being able to accept your weaknesses.
Author:  Fiction dTAJIr8v [ Thu Apr 24, 2008 2:33 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
You cant really do anything. People with low self esteem cannot see their positive qualities. Compliments usually don't help since they only interpret it negatively such as thinking you have an ulterior motive. She has to be willing to change herself and accept the things she cannot change. Having confidence is being able to accept your weaknesses.
Compliments aren't the only way to improve self-esteem.

That said, she needs to be at a comfortable, trusting point with you. Again, this is what therapy is for.
Author:  NOILLUSION [ Thu Apr 24, 2008 3:17 pm ]
Post subject: 
I found out she had LSE after negging her a few times. it was a bitch to fix the situation. but I genuinely want to help her with her LSE issue without suggesting she go see a therapist (cus that would be another neg, lol).

Would Inner Game help her? I know there are female PUA's that exist. How does their game different from ours?
Quote:
If shes above a 7 you neg her, if shes below you dont't!
And that guideline is hard to go by, because everyone's opinions of other people and themselves differ. I hardly rate girls below an 8 even if they don't have a body like a model, and below that I usually don't even bother gaming.
Author:  delta4ce [ Thu Apr 24, 2008 5:39 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
You cant really do anything. People with low self esteem cannot see their positive qualities. Compliments usually don't help since they only interpret it negatively such as thinking you have an ulterior motive. She has to be willing to change herself and accept the things she cannot change. Having confidence is being able to accept your weaknesses.
affirmations are different than compliments-- compliments are usually something short and often superficial or not heartfelt-- "you have really nice hair" or "wow, you're so smart"
what I mentioned--affirmations-- would be describing someone's outstanding qualities, and then going on to explain how you see those qualities in them, and give evidence of those qualities-- the purpose of an affirmation is to show someone else that they are valuable to you and that they should feel valued
Author:  NOILLUSION [ Thu Apr 24, 2008 6:22 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
You cant really do anything. People with low self esteem cannot see their positive qualities. Compliments usually don't help since they only interpret it negatively such as thinking you have an ulterior motive. She has to be willing to change herself and accept the things she cannot change. Having confidence is being able to accept your weaknesses.
affirmations are different than compliments-- compliments are usually something short and often superficial or not heartfelt-- "you have really nice hair" or "wow, you're so smart"
what I mentioned--affirmations-- would be describing someone's outstanding qualities, and then going on to explain how you see those qualities in them, and give evidence of those qualities-- the purpose of an affirmation is to show someone else that they are valuable to you and that they should feel valued
hey thanks, I understand what you are saying here. I just kind of never made a distinction between the two before, but now I'll try to be more aware of what I say.
Author:  Green_Eyes [ Thu May 01, 2008 1:32 am ]
Post subject: 
from experience do not neg a girl with low self-esteem. I recently did this on accident and she hated me and now we dont even talk anymore. Basically i neged her on her grades and she got all upset. After that i told her i cant talk to a girl who gets upset over something so small and stupid. End of relationship and friendship. lol.
Author:  Krylon [ Thu May 01, 2008 2:17 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
If shes above a 7 you neg her, if shes below you dont't!

Wrong. There has to be a lot more there than just her looks. You don't even have to neg her at all. There is more to pickup than "neg neg neg neg" you all seem to forget everything you read after you're done reading it. It's a little disturbing to be honest with you.

You all very well capable of performing a pickup without negs. There are so many things available to you other than negs.

I'd like to set a challenge to you all. Do 5 pickups in the next week without negging at all. See how much your results differ. I can almost bet they won't change at all.


Just something to think of.
Page 1 of 2 All times are UTC
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group
http://www.phpbb.com/