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Recovery from failed AMOG?
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Author:  leftytheking [ Sat Apr 19, 2008 6:42 am ]
Post subject:  Recovery from failed AMOG?
There's a member of my social group who goes heavily into gay jokes, even though he's straight. As a way to basically AMOG other guys, he makes jokes, references, and sometimes physical actions to make other guys DLV. First, how would I counter that kind of AMOG-ing?

Tonight, we were in a group of friends, and he was giving IOI's to HB7, who seemed to return a few. I was fine with it, but I didn't want HB7 to get too interested- I prefer being alpha male all the time, even if I don't want the HB. Anyways, this guy makes a gay joke towards me, and reaches out to stroke my shoulder and chest. I react by pivoting, side-stepping so that I was perpendicular to him, and then putting my fist into his kidney. It was mostly reflex, and I really didn't put much muscle behind the punch. This isn't the first time I've hit him to get him to back off, and in the past it's been more of a warning. This time I probably made it hurt enough to anger him- he was pretty shocked. The guy turns around and gives me the squared-up, showdown stance before a friend steps in, and then things cool off.


I was cool with everything, and wasn't interested in a fight. He was caught off guard and was pretty upset. The rest of the night he wouldn't come near me, and kept dropping comments about me "crossing the line" and taking "cheap shots." However, HB7 was put off by my display, and gave a lot of kino to him. From then on, it was those two as a couple, and then the rest of the group. I didn't stir any trouble, but I didn't like him getting the HB's sympathy.

I'm going to be interacting with both of them a lot for the next few months, so I can't burn bridges. I'm still in a decent alpha position in our group, but the incident made me look like a jerk. I didn't loose my cool during the exchange- I calmly showed my willingness to get physical. In the guys' eyes, I think the incident was good to cement the alpha-image in their heads, but with the HB it was a DLV.

I'm going to talk to both the guy and the HB in the next few days- what advice can you give me about handling this situation?
Author:  Psychology3 [ Sat Apr 19, 2008 7:24 am ]
Post subject: 
IMO that punch was a little excessive. You kind of did the "trying too hard thing" here. You portrayed that you weren't afraid of being physical, but I think you came off as a jerk and trying too hard.

How hard did you punch him exactly? Have you ever had physical contact like that?

IMO I would have mirrored his behavior and worked with his reaction. He could have gotten pissed that you were cracking jokes on him and he would have been in your position now.

Act normal I'd say. Don't really apologize for the punch, but if he acts like a little girl ( most likely will) just give him a little bit of sympathy mixed with some sarcasm. "Come on man, still mad about the little punch? It was all in good fun" Of course watch the vocal tonality and such. By doing this, you show a few things: you do still want to hang around and be cool, but you're not going to apologize because he threw a little fit.

Also, talk to the HB and just see how she reacts to you in general. Maybe she forgot about it. If she didn't then display some "softness" around here in the same way you did to that guy, obviously some difference as it is a different interaction.

Overall, I'd say you did ok. At least you're not the little woman of the group. :D
Author:  Risen [ Sat Apr 19, 2008 6:03 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Recovery from failed AMOG?
Quote:
Tonight, we were in a group of friends, and he was giving IOI's to HB7, who seemed to return a few. I was fine with it, but I didn't want HB7 to get too interested- I prefer being alpha male all the time, even if I don't want the HB.
If you don't care about the HB then whats the problem?? Im not sure I understand why you still need to act like an AMOG in front of her if your so-called friend was working her. If hes actually a friend then I would just kindly apologize again for hitting him, but tell him that you seriously do not enjoy the gay jokes. For these situations its always best to get everything out instead of holding in vent up anger (prob why u hit him although u didnt consciously want to). Especially if hes a friend theres always another girl out there.

But...if he does try to call you gay again just be like "Hey buddy, hands off the mechandise, I think I say club gay-whatever across the street". Thats how I usually deal with AMOGs who try to touch you to exert dominance. Hope that helps and happy gaming!
Author:  Rye Lee [ Sat Apr 19, 2008 8:14 pm ]
Post subject: 
This is a prime example of how NOT to AMOG. You shouldn't have attacked him, you should have smiled sweetly at him, taken the hand he was using to rub your shoulder and done something silly, like like spin him around like a girl you are dancing with, or look longingly into his eyes and then make kissing lips and laugh.

The 'A' in AMOG doesn't stand for aggressive, at least not when it comes to how you act. You AMOG people best by being friendly and funny and confident in yourself. If he cracks a gay joke, then you are secure enough in you sexuality that you don't try to turn it around, you play back.

One of my wings came up to me on thursday while I was talking to a girl and made a comment about how hot I was or something and then pretended to hump me. So instead of pushing him off and asking him what the hell he was thinking, I grab his hips, and start humping back! We laugh and pat each other on the shoulder and then I return to talking to the girl without saying anything. She acts MORE attracted, not less, because I am SO confident.
Author:  fancyf*ck [ Sun Apr 20, 2008 12:29 am ]
Post subject: 
Grow a pair and grab his Cock!!

Seriously just one up him.

You know you're not gay and it will definitely make him uncomfortable in the situation, so when he does something like that, with a straight face, just go and grab his junk.

It will probably end that situation b/w you and him once and for all.
Author:  leftytheking [ Sun Apr 20, 2008 4:49 am ]
Post subject: 
To clarify:

1) It's not like the punch was out of the blue- the guys in the group have done things like this before, but when I did it, he knew it wasn't jokingly.

2) The HB isn't available to have as a FB or LTR right now, but I want to keep her as an option.

3) I've taken different approaches to AMOG him another way, but playing into his joke doesn't work- I've tried. Also, he's a newcomer to our group- he's not a good friend of mine.

As an update, the incident has mostly blown over. He got the picture, and we stay to our corners. I haven't hung out with him since, but we shook hands and such. However, the problem I have is how to recover from the incident as far as the HB is concerned.
Author:  abc1555 [ Sun Apr 20, 2008 4:56 am ]
Post subject: 
I want to know this too, if the dude don't stop even if you joke the same way.

And what do you reply if you get called a homo there on by the girl
Author:  Rye Lee [ Sun Apr 20, 2008 5:31 am ]
Post subject: 
YOU NEVER BE AGGRESSIVE AND ATTACK OTHER GUYS. NEVER.

Seriously, if you do shit like that, then you look like an insecure tool that can't take a little bit of a ball busting. It's unnattractive and women don't like it. They instead take the side of the guy that got attacked, even if he was being a dick.

You are polite, civil and almost always friendly towards guys that are trying to AMOG you. Your success will be much greater this way, take my word for it. Just because you "tried it" and it didn't work before, doesn't mean it doesn't work, it just means you didn't do it right. Being aggressive won't work unless he really truly did something equal to that level of violence, or she's into assholes and the vast majority of women aren't.
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