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The big reason most guys dont succeed at daygame!
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Author:  Warped Mindless [ Fri Jan 23, 2015 7:39 pm ]
Post subject:  The big reason most guys dont succeed at daygame!
To be fair, there are a ton of reasons most guys fail at day game. Today I'll be talking about one of those main reasons... the way they approach.

What I'm about to reveal I have yet to see in the community. Don't get me wrong, I really doubt I was the first guy to come up with this but I may be the only one teaching it. Lets look at how the community teaches you to approach during day game and why it doesn't work...

A typical community pua type approach: See girl -> walk/run over to girl -> deliver opener

Some companies even teaches you to run a few steps past the girl and then jump out in front of her. Da fuck? :roll:

often guys will even mention this in their opener "I seen you and I just had to come meet you/say hi."

In general the vibe is that you seen the girl and then you went and approached the girl. Women usually pick up on this too. This works for night game but when meeting women during the day there is a better way...

Think back to damn near every cheesy romantic comedy where a man and a woman, strangers, happened to meet each other outside of their social circle and outside of a bar or club. How did they meet? It just kinda happened.

Women fantasize about randomly meeting their prince charming but in their fantasy, it just happened.

In the movies and in her fantasy it didn't happen because the guy made it happen by seeing her and approaching her, no, it was fate that brings them two together!

To be successful you want the vibe shes feeling to be "Its fate that brought us together" and not "oh, he seen me and came and approached me."

The first one is 'the universes decision" or whatever, the second one was your decision. Do you see why the first one is more powerful?

In many ways its hard to teach the how of doing this because it depends so much on the situation and particular environment. One of the most common, and cheesy, ones you often see in romantic comedies is when two people are in a super market and the both exit different aisles at the same time and their carts smash into each others cart.

The man says "oh, excuse me!" and the woman blushes and meekly utters "oh, its okay!" and then love happens. 90 minutes later you get the wedding and a terrible squeal 2 years later that still manages to do ok at the box office.

In that scenario it just happened. In the woman's mind that chance encounter was simply fate.

If you want your day approaches to be more successful you need to engineer this feeling of "it was just fate." Now don't get me wrong, I'm not telling you top go around and smash your shopping cart into other peoples shopping... that would be kinda silly.

I'll give you an example from my life. A few days ago I was in a store looking at birthday cards when an attractive woman also happens to start looking at cards. Nothing was really said for around 30 seconds or so but then I broke the silence.

"Hey, what do you think of this card? Its for my teen niece. To cheesy?"

All I did was turn to her, show her the card, asked her that question. Now, Im not big on the whole "opinion opener" bullshit taught in the community but in that scenario it was a legit way to start a conversation.

From there I just changed the subject, we talked for a few minutes, we exchanged numbers and parted ways. Shes coming over Sunday for a "movie night."

Another quick example, I was walking thru the park and crossing the small bridge that goes over a pond when I seen a cute woman looking over the side of the bridge obviously admiring the scenery. I went over and stopped to look over the side of the bridge too. I left five or so feet between us. After about 10 seconds I looked over at her and noticing her camera in her hand I said something to this effect:

"Im guessing your a photographer."

She said yes and held up her camera to show me. She seemed very warm and friendly so I took that as a cue to continue. I walked over and got closer to her and started talking. Built a connection, did some light flirting, etc. Everything I've wrote about before basically. At the end I got her number and it took a while before I actually met up with her but we finally met up. Shes now my fuck buddy.

These type of approaches makes it seem like it was simply fate and that plays into a woman's fantasies. Give it a try, after some practice you will start doing this without a second though and you will prob find that your results are much better.
Author:  meetjoeblack [ Fri Jan 23, 2015 9:47 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The big reason most guys dont succeed at daygame!
Quote:

These type of approaches makes it seem like it was simply fate and that plays into a woman's fantasies. Give it a try, after some practice you will start doing this without a second though and you will prob find that your results are much better.
Awesome post. Something I learned from Alex, former rsd instructor was the ability to approach and keep approaching again and again. So, instead of just thinking you need to do score immediately, you can take your time a bit with it which I feel day game needs. Obviously, there are exceptions but, this should not cause someone to defer from the norm nor should it make someone not progress towards something more. I have did PU in cafes, coffee shops, a subway, college campus, and a variety of areas. What seems to be ideal is to break rapport, actually have real conversation instead of the zombie "brainzzzz" type of chatter most frequent far too often ..."hi/how are you/where you from/rubbish!" Actual real conversation about ideas, concepts, life, this thing I am doing that I am ever so passionate about. That kind of enthusiasm is attractive and it captures attention. I have also been successful in PU while women have been at work. It takes tact and confidence. The rest is a piece of cake but, there is something about day game Pu that I am into. That or maybe the romanticizing of it all I find all too appealing.
Author:  oceanx [ Sat Jan 24, 2015 12:15 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The big reason most guys dont succeed at daygame!
In agreement with every word in Warped's post.

It boggles the mind how a guy would recommend going up to a girl, asking for directions or something and then a second later saying "JUST KIDDING I THOUGHT YOU WERE CUTE AND I WANTED TO SAY HI." Just fucking go direct if you're going to do that.

Or the spam approaching of "you look lovely / you look gorgeous / etc." I flat out don't get it. Not the least of which reason to avoid this sort of approach is that it automatically weeds out a lot of girls who would totally be down for a nice little situational conversation like he talks about in the original post.

Who gives a flying fuck if the girl looks good. Does she have anything interesting to say, do you vibe with her, these are the pertinent questions. She can tell by how the guy is looking at her & interacting with her whether he digs her or not so a guy does not have to do the male/logical thing of spitting out his thoughts on her appearance or his feelings towards her, she KNOWS. Women are highly intuitive.

Additionally, all of the "let me guess you're from X, I like your outfit, you seem like an artistic person, you, you, you, you" sets up what I believe to be a supplicative frame between the guy and the girl. Be a little creative and don't say the same exact thing to every girl. They're not robots and neither should the guy be.
Author:  neo87 [ Sat Jan 24, 2015 12:56 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The big reason most guys dont succeed at daygame!
Warped, I kinda agree and disagree....

I agree that when you approach it should seem like it just happened. Heck, in EVERY type of game it's better to not give the impression that you just wanted to hook up. In night game, I'll be having fun with friends before I approach so even if I go direct it comes across as something pulled me to approach her ie it just happened. In day game I'd be out doing something instead of just there lurking so it seems like it just happened. So you can achieve the whole fate thing if you truly are, or at least pretend to be, doing something else before you approached her. I just think you can be direct and get the same effect, or at least a better effect than most guys do. You're right, it gives an awkward vibe to just go up to someone during the day and say hi for most. So the story for her can be "we just bumped karts and started talking...now we're getting married" or "he was out buying groceries, he saw me and said hi" which is better than the typical direct "he just popped up behind me and said I was cute." I think the gist is, make it seem like you weren't out looking for girls. Sometimes you gotta open more directly, just because it's more dynamic, girls are walking distances away. My simple rule is, if there is time to talk to the girl, I'll make a comment or question like you said. If there's less time, I'll go direct, but in such a way that it still feels special to her.
Author:  detox75 [ Sat Jan 24, 2015 1:11 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The big reason most guys dont succeed at daygame!
Good post.

The "fate" approach certainly works much better because it keeps all your value, whereas the "OMG here he comes and hes hitting on me approach" your value automatically takes a hit right off the bat because, well, your the kind of guy that needs to approach girls. However the problem is logistics, it just takes more time to set up a strategic "fate" or "proximity" approach, then just going after what you want directly. So the better approach style has the same or lesser yield given the amount of time involved in setting it up.
Author:  Warped Mindless [ Sat Jan 24, 2015 1:55 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The big reason most guys dont succeed at daygame!
Quote:
Warped, I kinda agree and disagree....

I agree that when you approach it should seem like it just happened. Heck, in EVERY type of game it's better to not give the impression that you just wanted to hook up. In night game, I'll be having fun with friends before I approach so even if I go direct it comes across as something pulled me to approach her ie it just happened. In day game I'd be out doing something instead of just there lurking so it seems like it just happened. So you can achieve the whole fate thing if you truly are, or at least pretend to be, doing something else before you approached her. I just think you can be direct and get the same effect, or at least a better effect than most guys do. You're right, it gives an awkward vibe to just go up to someone during the day and say hi for most. So the story for her can be "we just bumped karts and started talking...now we're getting married" or "he was out buying groceries, he saw me and said hi" which is better than the typical direct "he just popped up behind me and said I was cute." I think the gist is, make it seem like you weren't out looking for girls. Sometimes you gotta open more directly, just because it's more dynamic, girls are walking distances away. My simple rule is, if there is time to talk to the girl, I'll make a comment or question like you said. If there's less time, I'll go direct, but in such a way that it still feels special to her.
My point summed up in a few words is this: Its better if she thinks the universe put you two together and made it happen instead of you making it happen.
Author:  meetjoeblack [ Sat Jan 24, 2015 3:19 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The big reason most guys dont succeed at daygame!
Quote:
Quote:
Warped, I kinda agree and disagree....

I agree that when you approach it should seem like it just happened. Heck, in EVERY type of game it's better to not give the impression that you just wanted to hook up. In night game, I'll be having fun with friends before I approach so even if I go direct it comes across as something pulled me to approach her ie it just happened. In day game I'd be out doing something instead of just there lurking so it seems like it just happened. So you can achieve the whole fate thing if you truly are, or at least pretend to be, doing something else before you approached her. I just think you can be direct and get the same effect, or at least a better effect than most guys do. You're right, it gives an awkward vibe to just go up to someone during the day and say hi for most. So the story for her can be "we just bumped karts and started talking...now we're getting married" or "he was out buying groceries, he saw me and said hi" which is better than the typical direct "he just popped up behind me and said I was cute." I think the gist is, make it seem like you weren't out looking for girls. Sometimes you gotta open more directly, just because it's more dynamic, girls are walking distances away. My simple rule is, if there is time to talk to the girl, I'll make a comment or question like you said. If there's less time, I'll go direct, but in such a way that it still feels special to her.
My point summed up in a few words is this: Its better if she thinks the universe put you two together and made it happen instead of you making it happen.
I agree with Warped. I think women and sometimes men too romanticize in the thought that the universe put two people together. I think more is at work.
Author:  FlexBrah [ Sun Jan 25, 2015 5:22 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The big reason most guys dont succeed at daygame!
All you really have to do is ask questions. That simple. The conversation will flow naturally. Get her to talk about herself is asking an even better question. Listen carefully, and when you feel like you should give your genuine 2 cents, do it. Keep asking questions until it leads to whatever you're looking for...

In the case of daygame, a number close is probably most ideal... So continue to ask questions and you'll just know when to close the #. It'll just feel right.. Especially the more you practice.
Author:  hugge [ Sun Jan 25, 2015 10:25 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The big reason most guys dont succeed at daygame!
I agree with both the original post and the replies about time. If short on time you need to be direct. But on the other hand, if there is no time, why bother in the first place? Even if done skillfully and smooth, it still gives me a hint of desperation. With an abundant attitude you can afford loosing the girl in that case.
Author:  Dragula [ Sun Jan 25, 2015 10:35 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The big reason most guys dont succeed at daygame!
I live in the city centre, what do you typically do when you walk passed her in the street?, usually she is walking with purpose, texting/headphones and obviously her shopping list on her mind, how do you engineer this fate effect?

- Because this is what i mostly see going about my day.

Asking questions about her phone wouldn't have the same effect as your camera question...(since the 2 types do not have the same time constraints or reveal some hobbies to pick up on to break the ice.
Author:  Unrelenting Ambition [ Sun Jan 25, 2015 10:36 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The big reason most guys dont succeed at daygame!
Good post...I think for most guys this type of "natural" approach will come off as much more comfortable and congruent than most other approaches

But in reality any approach can work if one is congruent with it

You could open with, "hey, saw you over here and figured I would come over and see you if wanted to go make children behind that tree sometime" and as long as you're congruent and don't take this type of shit seriously, that would work with some women as well
Author:  skills360 [ Sun Jan 25, 2015 8:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The big reason most guys dont succeed at daygame!
The just happened to be there, is how i also do my dance floor openers, the just happened to be there, combine with situational openers(basically what is described in the post)=win
Author:  detox75 [ Sun Jan 25, 2015 8:43 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The big reason most guys dont succeed at daygame!
Quote:
hey, saw you over here and figured I would come over and see you if wanted to go make children behind that tree sometime"
this is great, it is also something that 99% of new guys who can use it would never do. Great design, no implementation.
Author:  ruhri [ Sun Jan 25, 2015 11:02 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The big reason most guys dont succeed at daygame!
Very good advice. Gives you the opportunity to start a conversation with her without breaking any serious social norms.
Author:  meetjoeblack [ Mon Jan 26, 2015 2:55 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The big reason most guys dont succeed at daygame!
Quote:
I live in the city centre, what do you typically do when you walk passed her in the street?, usually she is walking with purpose, texting/headphones and obviously her shopping list on her mind, how do you engineer this fate effect?

- Because this is what i mostly see going about my day.

Asking questions about her phone wouldn't have the same effect as your camera question...(since the 2 types do not have the same time constraints or reveal some hobbies to pick up on to break the ice.
I think this is about reverse engineering your inner game and the outer game will follow. I think chatting everyone and just making it habitual is a game changer. How would Zyzz break the ice? I said many times, I think PU is a faulty system but, it is better then the passive dating role usually owned by women. Quite personally, I think it is about engineering it as a way of life, and routinely being that kind of man.

Something I have established was challenging myself the past year with PU in challenging logistics. I am talking about what 007 did in an infield; cold approach PU on women with their grandma. I am talking about cold approach PU in a cafe, coffee house, grocery store, gym, and a variety of other places. I have owned doing this while women are working.

IMHO, I am still progressing and this is just a new level of game with me overcoming previous barriers. Something Warped stated was about a woman thinking the universe brought us together. I still sort of get that feeling of romanticizing in the moment, in the PU. I think people misunderstood the hypnosis thread I posted. PU is more hypnotic on us doing it because we are bought in. It feels great when it is going two way. There is something still random no matter how contrived PU maybe. Her being in a specific place and time. I am conditioned by PU to approach and I do so. Regardless, I chalk up my victories for taking action and learning from the experience. Right now, I want to develop more emotional spikes. The behavior that turns on a single girl turns on the next girl.
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