PUA Forum :: Dealing with unavoidable Negative Rapport Topics

I come from a small town in the middle of the USA. I lived in the suburbs with a nice house and an annoyingly large front and back yard. I had to cut the grass and rake the leaves every year. You know, the normal shit.

A while back when people asked me where I was from and I told them they would respond with, "Where is that?"

I'm from Saint Louis County. Specifically, Ferguson. I grew up attending school in the Ferguson-Florissant school district. My middle school's name is Ferguson Middle. I didn't live close to that place. I'm from there.

I was in a taxi yesterday and the woman asked where I was from and I said Ferguson. I then had to hear opinions on racism, corrupt police, corrupt officials who protect police, children being shot by police, people burning stores, rioting, the national guard...I could go on.

People are shocked to meet someone from my hometown. Most of the people who live there don't leave by the way, and it's already small so that only increases the rarity of meeting someone from there.

Interesting side story. When I was in Okinawa there was a man who always came into our office to talk to the Master SGT. I chatted him up one day, and turns out he was my next door neighbor's brother. What are the fucking odds?

As I attempted to change the subject several times she kept bringing it back up. I called her out on it and she said it's like when you ask someone where their from and they respond with something like "Columbine".

How would you deal with this situation?

Author:	fudge_88 [ Tue Dec 16, 2014 4:31 am ]
Post subject:	Dealing with unavoidable Negative Rapport Topics
I come from a small town in the middle of the USA. I lived in the suburbs with a nice house and an annoyingly large front and back yard. I had to cut the grass and rake the leaves every year. You know, the normal shit. A while back when people asked me where I was from and I told them they would respond with, "Where is that?" I'm from Saint Louis County. Specifically, Ferguson. I grew up attending school in the Ferguson-Florissant school district. My middle school's name is Ferguson Middle. I didn't live close to that place. I'm from there. I was in a taxi yesterday and the woman asked where I was from and I said Ferguson. I then had to hear opinions on racism, corrupt police, corrupt officials who protect police, children being shot by police, people burning stores, rioting, the national guard...I could go on. People are shocked to meet someone from my hometown. Most of the people who live there don't leave by the way, and it's already small so that only increases the rarity of meeting someone from there. Interesting side story. When I was in Okinawa there was a man who always came into our office to talk to the Master SGT. I chatted him up one day, and turns out he was my next door neighbor's brother. What are the fucking odds? As I attempted to change the subject several times she kept bringing it back up. I called her out on it and she said it's like when you ask someone where their from and they respond with something like "Columbine". How would you deal with this situation?

Author:	masterm1ne [ Tue Dec 16, 2014 6:19 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Dealing with unavoidable Negative Rapport Topics
Quote: How would you deal with this situation? You just need to be more in control of the conversation. I grew up in Ferguson, so if I want to hear peoples opinion about the "racial killing," then I bring it up. Otherwise, I simply say something else like Saint Louis etc. Even if it comes out like it did in your case and you see the person fixating on it, you need to completely ignore what she says and change the topic to something else.

Author:	DJ_Z [ Tue Dec 16, 2014 6:39 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Dealing with unavoidable Negative Rapport Topics
Lie, name a city nearby. If she prods about it just say you're a few miles away from it. I know this forum has a big hangup on being "honest and genuine," but if telling the truth consistently messes with your game it is time to adjust the truth. I'm not from Pittsburgh, I was born an hour away. But it isn't worth saying the name of the town and having people go "where?" I just say near Pittsburgh. It is true enough. I also round up my height and income with online dating profiles, mention a little more travel for my job than really occurs, and will make up shit on the spot for the sake of a rainbow ruse. You are allowed to lie sometimes.

Author:	fudge_88 [ Tue Dec 16, 2014 8:44 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Dealing with unavoidable Negative Rapport Topics
Quote: I grew up in Ferguson, so if I want to hear peoples opinion about the "racial killing," then I bring it up. Otherwise, I simply say something else like Saint Louis etc. Are you actually from Ferguson or were you just speaking from my perspective? You both gave me some very helpful advice. I have a hard time lying. It feels weird honestly since I posses a brutally honest mentality, but adjusting the truth so that I answer in a not lying but not 100% truth way might be the way to go. I'm sure even saying Saint Louis will cause someone to immediately associate it to all that negativity, but I'll test and see.

Author:	Versalis [ Wed Dec 17, 2014 1:30 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Dealing with unavoidable Negative Rapport Topics
Just the state is enough, unless you're in Missouri right now. If so, just go with St Louis. I've almost never had someone follow up the state by asking what city.

PUA Forum https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/

Dealing with unavoidable Negative Rapport Topics https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=25&t=186407	Page 1 of 2

Author:	fudge_88 [ Wed Dec 17, 2014 1:49 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Dealing with unavoidable Negative Rapport Topics
That sounds very good. I'm in Atlanta right now, so I can just say Missouri.

Author:	hugge [ Wed Dec 17, 2014 4:16 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Dealing with unavoidable Negative Rapport Topics
I am brutally honest myself, and I would probably deal with it like this: She: Where are you from? Me: I'd rather not tell, because I hate the discussion that follows. She: insists Me: Ferguson. Now, please don't start talking about you-know-what. Let's focus on something else, having fun. Hopefully she will understand and respect how you feel about it, and focus on other things.

Author:	breedlove465 [ Wed Dec 17, 2014 4:21 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Dealing with unavoidable Negative Rapport Topics
Quote: I come from a small town in the middle of the USA. I lived in the suburbs with a nice house and an annoyingly large front and back yard. I had to cut the grass and rake the leaves every year. You know, the normal shit. A while back when people asked me where I was from and I told them they would respond with, "Where is that?" I'm from Saint Louis County. Specifically, Ferguson. I grew up attending school in the Ferguson-Florissant school district. My middle school's name is Ferguson Middle. I didn't live close to that place. I'm from there. I was in a taxi yesterday and the woman asked where I was from and I said Ferguson. I then had to hear opinions on racism, corrupt police, corrupt officials who protect police, children being shot by police, people burning stores, rioting, the national guard...I could go on. People are shocked to meet someone from my hometown. Most of the people who live there don't leave by the way, and it's already small so that only increases the rarity of meeting someone from there. Interesting side story. When I was in Okinawa there was a man who always came into our office to talk to the Master SGT. I chatted him up one day, and turns out he was my next door neighbor's brother. What are the fucking odds? As I attempted to change the subject several times she kept bringing it back up. I called her out on it and she said it's like when you ask someone where their from and they respond with something like "Columbine". How would you deal with this situation? Are you still in Missourri? If not why don't you just say "from Missourri" rather than Ferguson. Other than that, it seems like it bothers you way too much. If they are asking too many questions just say you moved away before all the shit went down and you don't know anything about it.

Author:	Versalis [ Wed Dec 17, 2014 4:29 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Dealing with unavoidable Negative Rapport Topics
When someone asks where you're from, tell them your mom said you fell from heaven

Author:	fudge_88 [ Wed Dec 17, 2014 6:27 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Dealing with unavoidable Negative Rapport Topics
Quote: it seems like it bothers you way too much It's not about it bothering me. I don't like building on negative rapport topics because it gives a girl the green light to be negative because she subconsciously associates me with negative rapport. For instance she asked how I liked my apartment complex and I told her it's great they even got new management. She immediately jumped to "Oh they are going to raise your rent!" I find once you open that negative flood gate the shit is hard to close because of subconscious associations. You know when you talk to a girl they aren't planning the next thing they say. They talk about whatever pops up in their minds. By building negative rapport those pop up responses tend to be on the negative side. I'm going to go with a joke answer first like what Versalis last said, and if she presses I'll follow up with Missouri, and if she presses more I can use what hugge said as a third tier response. I love it thanks guys!

Author:	Bender1234 [ Fri Dec 19, 2014 7:36 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Dealing with unavoidable Negative Rapport Topics
Umm, there's no such thing as negative rapport like what you're saying. A girl's not gonna turn negative and hate you because of her opinion on raising rent. Get real dude, lol. If anything, she's siding with you. If I go "Yeah I just got my taxes raised" and a girl goes "Thank you Mr. President" if anything it gives you something to relate to. If we're both bitching about the President or Police corruption in Fergusson, that's just dandy by me

Author:	oceanx [ Fri Dec 19, 2014 8:32 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Dealing with unavoidable Negative Rapport Topics
Hell just saying "i'm from the midwest" is enough for most people.

Author:	neo87 [ Fri Dec 19, 2014 8:41 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Dealing with unavoidable Negative Rapport Topics
I agree with Bender. Sounds like you aren't leading the conversation. The one example with the woman in the cab is extreme. The other example with the girl is you saying something positive and her finding a potential negative in it.

Author:	fudge_88 [ Fri Dec 19, 2014 10:14 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Dealing with unavoidable Negative Rapport Topics
Quote: Umm, there's no such thing as negative rapport like what you're saying. A girl's not gonna turn negative and hate you because of her opinion on raising rent. Get real dude, lol. If anything, she's siding with you. If I go "Yeah I just got my taxes raised" and a girl goes "Thank you Mr. President" if anything it gives you something to relate to. If we're both bitching about the President or Police corruption in Fergusson, that's just dandy by me Yeah I'm not with all of that. I'm on some next level stuff which makes that detrimental to my health. Every time someone asks advice on this forum some guy tells him not to worry about the advice he's asking about. It's hilarious, anyway thanks to everyone who added value to my first question.

Page 1 of 2	All times are UTC
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group http://www.phpbb.com/

Author:	duskriddles [ Fri Dec 19, 2014 10:43 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Dealing with unavoidable Negative Rapport Topics
Quote: Just the state is enough, unless you're in Missouri right now. If so, just go with St Louis. I've almost never had someone follow up the state by asking what city. bingo! less is more. for example if you're a dishwasher at a restaurant just tell em you work in hospitality. i've been in this situation several times recently and blew it and gave myself negative rapport but i've learned from those valuable mistakes. i don't think most people are nosy enough to inquire further and if they are being that rude then they deserve a lie to the face. you're the GM, AM, Valet Manager, Bell Captain, Trainer or any position that you think she may deem respectable. hospitality is a pretty broad category.