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Why the movie (cinema) date is just horrible.
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Author:  Wall1e [ Wed Jan 15, 2014 10:29 pm ]
Post subject:  Why the movie (cinema) date is just horrible.
If this doesn't belong here, let me know. I just want to explain my thoughts on this kind of date.

It's been the 3rd time in a row now, that it has destroyed any of my chances and I'm sick of it. The movie date...

I'm not gonna go into details how and what I did, I'm just gonna explain straight why it's so damn horrible:
- You're both sitting into a chair and watching a screen for 2 whole hours, not saying anything
- (i'm not sure how this is in the USA or other countries) You can't remove the armholder, which makes kino hard
- You can't get to know each other at all since conversations are nearly impossible (not that talking is that great, ill explain later)
- Most movies aren't really something to watch with a girl, let's say thrillers or sci-fi like Inception.

Believe me, 2 hours straight sitting there watching to a screen is not gonna get the girl wet. She's not gonna have sparks in her body of sexual attraction, and it's certainly not easy to micro-escalate. It could be me, but If I had to choose, I'd go more for options where the two of you can actually have some (sexual) touch with each other. From my experience the results then are waaaaaaaayyy better:

- Walk in the local park (especially at night). Girls don't like to walk in the dark alone. So if you're there next to them, that's already good. Now make sure to actually grab her hand, or put your hand on her lower back. Let her know you're a sexual guy and are not afraid to show that.
- Movie at YOUR or HER place in your own room. Since you are already sitting on the bed, transitioning from making out, towards escalating (a.k.a. going cave man) is way more easily than going from the cinema into your or her house and then transitioning into the bed room (especially at my age, where girls still live with their parents).
- Nightclub. You don't have to be a great dancer, to seduce a girl through dancing. Make sexual eye-contact, push-pull her with your hands, and yes that means holding her hand(s). Getting close. See the difference?

I think that this explains quite enough, but I'm certainly open to your guys' thoughts.

Wallie
Author:  ConfidenceMatters [ Thu Jan 16, 2014 12:13 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Why the movie (cinema) date is just horrible.
Movie dates are ok later in a relationship, but they definitely will fuck up an amateur's game like nothing else. Unless, that is, you take her there so you can make out with her. But, like you said, the arm rest thing is problematic.
Author:  Chief [ Thu Jan 16, 2014 1:03 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Why the movie (cinema) date is just horrible.
Quote:
- (i'm not sure how this is in the USA or other countries) You can't remove the armholder, which makes kino hard
You CAN remove the armrest in between the seat by lifting it up in theaters in the US and other countries (like here in Korea). I'm legitimately surprised that you cannot in any theaters where you are, because that changes a lot of factors.

However, you should still be able to work around any obstacles to establish a connection despite your environment. What do you think we PUAs do in the club with cold approaching? It's too fucking loud to have a conversation so there's less opportunity to establish a connection, there's too much distracting stimulation with all the flashy lights and shit, women are all up on their pedestals in that environment, and there's an insane amount of pressure on the men in the club while women comfortably enjoy being fed free drinks and sexual attention all night. Yet we still make it work by essentially hacking the club system with body language, frame control, flash game, forcing IOIs, etc. etc. etc.

You posted in my movie date thread with this same complaint, but it sounds to me you just haven't really figured out how to make it work for you. Regardless, it's still generally a better idea to play to your strengths. I made movie dates work for me, but since they're too much of a hassle for you to work with, you really need to use other date ideas that make things easier for you.
Author:  n00bpua123 [ Thu Jan 16, 2014 1:47 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Why the movie (cinema) date is just horrible.
It's not the best date, but it is doable. It's true that you can't talk to her, but you got to use what you can and that's non-verbal communication. Put your arm over her. Hold her hands. Play with her hands. Stuff like that.
Author:  Sam0101 [ Thu Jan 16, 2014 4:13 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Why the movie (cinema) date is just horrible.
Going to the movies is basically one of the worst things you can do just starting out with a woman. I know from experience. I've been on many cinema dates before and they all suck. You only have the car ride back and maybe she'll let ya in, but usually it's a movie and see ya later.
Author:  neo87 [ Thu Jan 16, 2014 4:34 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Why the movie (cinema) date is just horrible.
For a first date with a complete stranger it is critical that you do more than stare at a screen together. You have a limited amount of time to showcase your personality and progress things for a second date. A movie date CAN work, if it's a coworker or someone you're in a social circle with because that person already knows you and the date is just a formality. This is why most non PUA guys can ask a coworker out for a movie date as theyve already spent time at work knowing each other.
The reason drinks and activities are good ideas for cold approach dates is because they offer numerous points where you can say and show alot about yourself. A movie date involves staring at a screen which depending on the girl and the theatre, she may get really into the movie or you can't joke or touch each other because it's too loud or too soon. Even a movie at your place would be better because you can usually show her around, talk, joke and touch each other. If you have a living room, put the tv in your room and have the movie there.
Author:  n00bpua123 [ Thu Jan 16, 2014 11:20 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Why the movie (cinema) date is just horrible.
Quote:
I've been on many cinema dates before and they all suck.
Then you obviously do something wrong. If they all sucked then it's not the cinema to blame, it's you to blame. The first time I did a cinema date. It sucked. Yeah, it sucked. We just watched the movie and bye bye.

First I blamed the cinema. "I can't talk. WTF is this shit. I never do cinema dates again." But the real problem wasn't the movie. The real problem was ME. I was honest to myself and thought about what I could do better next time.

The 2nd time I did a cinema date I told myself I would not make the same mistake again. The mistake was I didn't escalate. So what did I do? I put my arms over her. I hold her hands. I played with her hands. If something happened in the movie I could make a sexual joke about it, I whispered and told her.

Even though it is true that there are better dates than cinema dates, it doesn't mean you should never do it again. Work with what you got and make the best of every situation.
Author:  Monsignor Crisanto [ Fri Jan 17, 2014 1:20 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Why the movie (cinema) date is just horrible.
My first lay was in a movie house BUT there's probably a big difference in movie houses in my place compared to your place.

1. You can watch the movie[s] (most of the times, they had double features way back then) many times over until your eyes dropped.

2. Some movie houses feature lovers' seats that's good for two with no arm rests in between.

If you want a good f-place other than your apartment or house, scout your area first for things like privacy, safety, and other factors that are conducive to fucking.

For instance, some places in the beach are dangerous where drug crazed muggers hangout while in some beaches, some local vigilantes who want to keep the local tourism profitable simply bury them in the sand (the police found some 27 skeletons and corpses a few years back). These safe beaches may stink a little but the open air bamboo and nipa cottages are good places for some good ole doggie style.

Of course, at this point in time, I no longer f-close in movie houses. If you are in any way Roman Catholic, try a church date and f-close in the confessional. This way, it isn't awkward if your girl calls you "god" as in "Oh god! Oh god! Fuck me faster!"
Author:  Hunter_Foxe [ Fri Jan 17, 2014 2:01 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Why the movie (cinema) date is just horrible.
My favourite first date is ice skating. It sets up a more adventurous "action-taking" frame. Watching movies is too passive.
Author:  7000 [ Fri Jan 17, 2014 11:01 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Why the movie (cinema) date is just horrible.
Quote:
Quote:
- (i'm not sure how this is in the USA or other countries) You can't remove the armholder, which makes kino hard
You CAN remove the armrest in between the seat by lifting it up in theaters in the US and other countries (like here in Korea). I'm legitimately surprised that you cannot in any theaters where you are, because that changes a lot of factors.

However, you should still be able to work around any obstacles to establish a connection despite your environment. What do you think we PUAs do in the club with cold approaching? It's too fucking loud to have a conversation so there's less opportunity to establish a connection, there's too much distracting stimulation with all the flashy lights and shit, women are all up on their pedestals in that environment, and there's an insane amount of pressure on the men in the club while women comfortably enjoy being fed free drinks and sexual attention all night. Yet we still make it work by essentially hacking the club system with body language, frame control, flash game, forcing IOIs, etc. etc. etc.

You posted in my movie date thread with this same complaint, but it sounds to me you just haven't really figured out how to make it work for you. Regardless, it's still generally a better idea to play to your strengths. I made movie dates work for me, but since they're too much of a hassle for you to work with, you really need to use other date ideas that make things easier for you.

I would argue that in a club you're still making a connection, even if you're not talking to the girl. You're still showing body language, dancing with her, touching her and escalating, probably isolating going to a quieter area or the smoking area etc.

In a cinema you can't talk, the body language you can show is limited because you're sat in a seat in the dark (although you can still certainly show some), you're not dancing and certainly here in the UK you can't remove the arm in many, so kino/physical touching is limited to brushing arms and maybe some hand holding - which if it's your first date, you've not spoken much and it's pitch black is perhaps not likely.

Of course, like with most things, it is possible. If you've met her before and got a bit of a connection going already, it can be ok. If you've got something else planned afterwards, it can give you a talking point - you can talk about the movie so at least that helps you with a topic of conversation!

But generally, it's not the best idea. Like you say Chief, you've got to play to your strengths. A club still allows you to show off your strengths if you're a fairly aggressive escalator. The cinema doesn't allow you to show off any strengths. You can still game to an extent, but you can't play to any strenghts in a cinema - unless your strength is sitting in silence, in which case you've got a lot of problems anyway!
Author:  Chief [ Sat Jan 18, 2014 6:26 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Why the movie (cinema) date is just horrible.
Quote:
In a cinema you can't talk,
That's like saying in a club you can't talk. Of course you can talk. Just put your mouth right up to her ear and speak softly.
Quote:
here in the UK you can't remove the arm in many, so kino/physical touching is limited to brushing arms and maybe some hand holding
Like I already said, that changes a huge factor. Like I mentioned in my movie date thread, a vital part of the date is lifting up the armrest and putting your arm around her. If you can't do that, then what the hell is wrong with the theaters in your country lol
Quote:
it can give you a talking point - you can talk about the movie so at least that helps you with a topic of conversation!
That's pretty weak. When I did movie dates, I talked about the movie by making funny observations and stuff DURING the movie (no one else can hear you when you're speaking softly right into her ear while you've got your arm around her so it doesn't disturb other people except for when she's giggling all the time), but the movie itself really doesn't matter, so conversation goes back to regular post-isolation game shit.
Quote:
The cinema doesn't allow you to show off any strengths. You can still game to an extent, but you can't play to any strenghts in a cinema
Again, wrong. If you're good at making funny observations observations about shit while slowly escalating kino in order to build some huge sexual tension while there's a big distraction in front of the both of you, going on a movie date IS playing to your strengths.

Are all of you who are saying that all movie dates are terrible all from the UK where all the movie seats have fixed armrests?
Author:  Don Horneone [ Sat Jan 18, 2014 8:09 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Why the movie (cinema) date is just horrible.
Quote:
If you can't do that, then what the hell is wrong with the theaters in your country lol
It's probably against health and safety or some shit. Don't go there.
Author:  Wall1e [ Sat Jan 18, 2014 5:17 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Why the movie (cinema) date is just horrible.
Might not be all the theatre's in holland, but the ones in my area don't have the option to remove the armrest. But as you say, it's a big difference if you can remove it or not. I've certainly noticed a difference in cinema and at her/your place. (Try her place first, more comfortable for her). After the movie you might already be sitting on the bed which makes sexual escalation very easy.

Wallie
Author:  johnnie5 [ Sun Jan 19, 2014 2:51 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Why the movie (cinema) date is just horrible.
first date for a movie forget it

i might not want to spend 3 hours with them

and i definatly dont want to spend $60 on it movies, popcorn, drink etc etc
Author:  7000 [ Sun Jan 19, 2014 2:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Why the movie (cinema) date is just horrible.
I don't think I have said it's terrible Chief. I said you can still game, but at the cinema you are very restricted in being able to show off your strengths. Yeah, you can whisper in her ear - personally, if I've gone to see a film and someone's whispering in my ear, I get pissed off even if what they're saying is funny, I want to watch the film if I'm there! But each to their own.

As I said in the original post, ultimately, you can go on dates anywhere and have success if you do the right things. It's just a lot easier to do the right things (and there are more right things you can do!) in other places. Especially for a first date.
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