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Girlfriend constantly flirting with my roommate
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Author:  Holiday [ Mon Feb 18, 2008 5:20 am ]
Post subject:  Girlfriend constantly flirting with my roommate
My LTR is constantly flirting with my roommate. She tries to hide it when I am around, but I know she is doing it when I am not around. He doesn't reciprocate because he is a good friend, but I know she is attracted to him. I honestly don't think she would cheat on me though. She is very dependant on my attention, high sex drive, and unfortunately low self esteem due to things that have happened to her in past relationships. I've been busy lately so she I haven't had alot of time for her, and she needs constant attention to make her feel secure.

Everything else is good between up except this. How do I talk to her about this? Should I next her?
Author:  Mister_GQ [ Mon Feb 18, 2008 7:10 am ]
Post subject: 
draw the line, it stops or she gets nexted. i think thats all
Author:  L.A. Tripp [ Mon Feb 18, 2008 7:20 am ]
Post subject: 
Welcome to the forum Holiday. Here's a question for you. Who's the leader between you and your friend? Who shows more alpha qualities and naturally takes the forefront? Also, how long have you two been together before she started flirting with him?
Author:  magnum45 [ Mon Feb 18, 2008 7:49 am ]
Post subject: 
You will always struggle with a girl who has low self esteem. There is no question about it. Your fight is an uphill battle. Work on your own self esteem and after it is built up you wont settle.

Trust me on this one. I spent 4 years of my life with a girl who has low self esteem, and she acted just as you described. If you are not there to constantly to fill her hole she will find a way to fill it. Move on!
Author:  ace_of_spades [ Mon Feb 18, 2008 3:35 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
If you are not there to constantly to fill her hole
No pun intended?

Right you are, my last and pretty much only LTR had LSE too. It would get pretty nasty every time I got busy/neglected her/hung around any female friend, no matter how unattractive.

At the same time though - flirting is fun, even people in relationships do that. I explained to my ex that should anything more serious happen, she'd be out of my life before she could say 'let me explain'. I kept my promise, too.

Bottom line - stay away from LSEs, they're trouble.
Author:  Holiday [ Mon Feb 18, 2008 7:01 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thanks for the all the replies.

Thanks for the welcome LA Tripp. I am definitely more alpha than he is, although he is pretty damn alpha himself. My girlfriend and my roommate work together at a nightclub so thats where they see each other. He is an honorable guy so I don't think he would do anything with her, although there was a period of a week where they acted really awkward around each other when I was around. When I told her I thought my roommate had a new girlfriend a few days ago (just to gauge her reaction), she got all weird/upset and asked what the girls name was. That was a huge red flag for me.

She is very dependant on me and admittedly very insecure. I have been trying to help her be more independant and confident in herself, but she was in some very abusive relationships in the past where she was cheated on as well. Any hope here for a normal relationship? If not I'll end it now because we are not that far into it.


Doc
Author:  L.A. Tripp [ Mon Feb 18, 2008 7:09 pm ]
Post subject: 
I could be wrong, obviously, but I would bet money that either they've already fucked, or they have come close.

So, it's up to you which direction you want to go.
Author:  magnum45 [ Tue Feb 19, 2008 2:09 am ]
Post subject: 
Get out of it before you get in to deep. LSE girls are no good that is the whole reason I became a PUA (in training). So, I could get a girl with high self esteem. You can't change her. There is no hope for YOU through her. Now she can change herself, but it will have nothing to do with you. She has to look deep within HERSELF to change. Her relying on you will not unlock the will power to change. She has to do it completely on her own. She is just leeching off of you because she is too scared and insecure to do it by herself. In my opinion you should let her go, but do what you want.
Author:  stevenadrien [ Tue Feb 19, 2008 3:54 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I could be wrong, obviously, but I would bet money that either they've already fucked, or they have come close.

So, it's up to you which direction you want to go.
X2.

if you have think something is wrong, confront her about it.
The more you keep acting like if nothing is wrong, the worse it is going to get.
Author:  Lone Wolf [ Tue Feb 19, 2008 4:44 am ]
Post subject: 
Honestly, what I would do if I seriously suspected something I would take my friend and sit his ass down and talk to him. I would look him into the eyes and say..
"Tell me as friend to friend, tell nothing but the truth. Swear that if you don't tell the truth may you burn in hell. Did you do anything sexual with my girlfriend, kissing, foreplay, sex? I'm asking this for my sake, I don't want to be with someone who is so insecure and will cheat on me. Just tell me the truth."

Something along those lines.
Author:  Chino Kapone [ Tue Feb 19, 2008 4:52 pm ]
Post subject: 
I agree with Lone Wolf here. It will be easier to talk to the roommate about the situation and rebuild a friendship than it would be to accuse your gf of cheating and trying to rebuild that relationship.

Im guessing her dad is no where in the picture and so shes always seeking out that male attention she never got as a kid.... but what do i know.
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