I have been getting a lot of ridicule lately. I don't think it's logical or persuasive. I think its fear of new ideas (which the lounge is supposed to be all about) or resentfulness. So, I want to list a some points that I think those in the PUA community cling to, but that I am challenging.
1.) You want to be an alpha male. I don't think it matters whether you are an alpha male. You don't have to be dominant and aggressive. What matters in my mind is that you have Strength of Character, which means you can do what you want to do no matter.
2.) You want to be the prize. I think this is a bad reason to date someone, because this is really all about pride. I think about the movie the Godfather. Vito Corleone got involved in the "family business" to feed his family. Michael Corleone got involved in the "family business" because a cop slap him around. The former did it for love. The latter did it for pride. Vito dies happy and loved by his family. Michael is lonely and unhappy, because he did it for his ego. I think being the prize attracts women for egotistical reasons.
3.) Neediness is unattractive. Everyone has insecurities, but what matters is whether you can deal with them. I think a lack of confidence that stops you from doing what you are going to do is bad. But emotional support is a good thing. Looking for a woman that will give you emotional support is a good thing. I just think if you are with a woman and she is insensitive to how you feel. She flirts with other guys. She plays games where she with holds affection when you really want it...I think you could take alot of emotional damage in the name of not seeming needy or clingy. Pick a girl that's going to make you feel good and cares when you feel bad and reassures you when you are worried. Yes I said reassurance.
4.) Focusing on Building Comfort Leads to the Friendzone. I think this is just a paranoid and pathological fear of friend zone. I almost never think about the friendzone when I talk to women. The purpose of talking to a woman is to build a connection. I do this by transference. I play the role of an anonymous therapist. I ask her questions about herself then I don't reveal anything about myself. I stay mysterious. She likens me to someone she knows from the past and those feelings are deep and meaningful. This is more than just building comfort. Comfort is when a woman feels good and safe around. A connection is when a woman feels a close intimate tie to you, and you do that by getting her to share personal information. At that point its almost like you guys are having sex emotionally.
Also, worth noting by talking to a girl and listening you learn what she likes, what she fears, what she hates, what's she proud of ect... You learn all the right things to make her love you. When You're Talking You Ain't Learning
5.) Outcome Independent. I believe if you really want someone you feel attached to getting them. Most of the PUA game is passive aggressive. You're putting all this game out there and you are letting the woman chose you. If you are a guy that feels afraid of losing his crush or oneitis then being outcome dependent is going to seem like absolute bull crap. You're going to want to be aggressive and to take an approach to make the girl love you. You're going to want to write love letters , make music and buy gifts. PUA would make you think this never works and often it does. Now you don't want to force yourself on a girl like Pepe Le Pew, but you can take acts to inspire passion in the girl.
6.) Mental Masturbation- So as man thinketh in his heart so he is, maybe you have heard this before. Beliefs drive actions. Feelings drive actions. The game is all about your mind. The game is all about your mind. Get your mind right and your ass will follow. Having the right vibe, saying the right htings, being confident, having self-discipline, good body lanuage, strong vocal tone...this all comes from how you feel. You are what you feel.
7.) If you please women or are affected by them you have low Self-esteem. Look yes thinking you have to be nice to people for them to like you may be insecure, but at the same time it is very logical to think be nice and people will like you. Pleasing women is not a bad idea. Although you're not the prize its not arrogant. Furthermore thinking you're are too good for some body to hurt your feelings is ridiculous. Negative thoughts evoke negative emotions and positive thoughts evoke positive emotions. If people say negative shit to you all the time its going to hurt.
8.) Compromise is wrong- if you don't compromise in life then you're going to be alone. The most important thing though is to get to know that person. To Learn what they will go along with and what you can't get them to go along. Compromise is a beuatiful thing. Its how you get things done.
9.) Its bad not to be socially accepted. You get girls by distinguishing yourself, by being something that nobody else is in the world. Its better to be willing to do things that other guys won't do than to be alpha.
10.) Self-improvement. There is no such thing as self-improvement. What one person likes the next person doesn't what it really is empowerment. You don't want to be a certain type of man . You just want to be able to strategize to get what you want.
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