| PUA Forum https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/ |
|
| DETACH yourself from the OUTCOME https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=25&t=16784 |
Page 1 of 1 |
| Author: | Roads [ Wed Feb 13, 2008 8:08 pm ] |
| Post subject: | DETACH yourself from the OUTCOME |
People always say, "assume the sale" in a sarge. Well, I don't agree...in fact I think this is dangerous for your game if you're new to PUA. The idea behind assuming the sale is that at some level, you believe that you've already f-closed the girl, and due to this belief it will become a self fulfilling prophecy. This works well for the more practiced PUA's, but beginners should take a different approach. Here's why: think about the time you were so sure you were getting your favorite toy for Christmas, you could practically see it in your hands and all the fun you were going to have. You worked for it by being "nice" the 12 days before Christmas, and you even put the cookies out in the living room for Santa Claus. Only problem is, come Christmas morning, you open your presents, and you don't get your perfect toy. Same with sarging and PU. Your skills aren't developed enough for you to realistically "assume the sale", and once you fail to arrive at that point you pictured in your mind with the girl you sarge, you will take a blow to your inner game. I think this is what makes a lot of new guys give up on PUA early on, when they don't seem to be having the success they are envisioning for themselves. So instead, sarge with NO expectation. Talk to girls and apply the Game principles you learned with no expectation of getting laid. You are gaming for the sake of gaming. Ever played a really cool video game you really loved? You didn't play it for the crappy text based ending dialog, did you? Or to see Mario sweep up the princess for the umpteenth time, right. You played it because it was fun. Well it's the same with the game of PU. What does this mean? It means you can go into sets with the attitude that "The girl is ATTRACTED to me". You can assume ATTRACTION. But you should not go in with the attitude that "I am gonna lay this girl". Because you know what, even the best PUA's fail to get the girl sometimes, and when you are starting out you are going to fail too. But if you played the game with no expectations, rather only for the sake of playing the game, you can never really fail. You had fun talking and interacting with a girl and you learned from the experience. That is all. See how this is much better than if you "assumed the sale" and didn't get the result you wanted? When you detach yourself from the outcome of a sarge, you've already gotten the results you've wanted. Therefore every sarge is a positive reinforcement for your Game, and every outcome is favorable for you. You will not become discouraged as easily, and you will have a lot more fun as well. So sarge on fellow PUA's, and remember to detach yourself from the outcome. |
|
| Author: | L.A. Tripp [ Wed Feb 13, 2008 8:27 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Be careful. While this is good, and you do have to detach yourself from the outcome, you also have to push for the outcome too. Especially when she's having fun and throwing you signals saying she wants more . . . |
|
| Author: | Roads [ Thu Feb 14, 2008 7:40 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Of course. You are the man and lead the interaction in the set---that is part of the game. She's throwing you signals, you know the game, you transition according to your knowledge of pickup---e.g. prolonged eye contact from a girl differs greatly in meaning in the beginning and end stages of a sarge. This could vary from the automatic responses of mPUA's to metronome-like transitions by newbie ASF players. What I am saying is, before the PUA approaches the girl, he should have the mindset that regardless of whether or not he gets laid, he is going to have a good time. In fact, before he even arrives at the bar/club/designated sarging area, he adopts this mindset. There are just so many benefits to this approach, especially for guys just getting into PUA, or guys with inner game issues. It's a way of conditioning the mind, both consciously and subconsciously, to recognize interactions with girls as natural and fun. There is no fear of failure, no pressure of delivery, no latent memories of rejection messing with your game. Just fun, lively interactions that you guide to their conclusions. This also helps PUA's by making them see that a sarge is not an investment, where there is possibility of loss (emotional energy, time, ego, etc.), but a fun interaction where all parties benefit and gain from the time spent together regardless of outcome. We are not testing ourselves as men by talking to women, we are having fun and being who we are and what we're mean to be. I know a lot of people are goal oriented and need the pressure, the objective based incentives (i.e. sex) of sarging to maximize their game---at least they think they do---but I think this is a more natural way to approach PU and women in general. |
|
| Author: | Mister_GQ [ Thu Feb 14, 2008 8:29 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
i vote to sticky this thread, it helps |
|
| Author: | kbell [ Fri Feb 15, 2008 3:53 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
I tried this train of thought when I went to a club last week(it was my first time after becoming familar with some of the basics, still a noob). I had a lot of fun and would like to repeat. I think my enjoyment was partly derived from not having a preplanned outcome and just seeing what would happen. |
|
| Author: | Roads [ Sat Feb 16, 2008 1:39 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Glad it's helped you. I try to adopt his mindset whenever I sarge, it helps a lot. |
|
| Page 1 of 1 | All times are UTC |
| Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group http://www.phpbb.com/ |
|