The reason you are afraid is because you don’t expect to be successful with the woman.
Although, you are afraid you can still act and that is called courage. The reason you can’t deal with your fear is you are inexperienced and that means you are not used to approaching women while feeling afraid. Inexperience also means you think of all these unrealistic negative feelings about rejection.
Fear. Sometimes you are afraid of something that is real and sometimes you are afraid of something that is simply imaginary and sometimes you are afraid of emotional pain. Sometimes you can use fear to motivate you.
As far as approaching a woman the main two fears are a hurt reputation or hurt feelings. If you carry yourself with self-respect things like harassment are never a concern. Reputation and hurt feelings are legitimate fears and are things to considered. Hurt feelings may last for a few moments, but sometimes they can be scarring.
To get out of your comfort zone you need to encourage yourself. These are 2 ways.
1.) Visualize success with the woman. That’s kissing her. That’s making love to her. That’s her bragging to her friends about how cool you are. That’s being inlove. That’s marrying her.
2.) fear as motivation. Imagine her kissing another guy. Imagine her having sex with another guy. Imagine her marrying another man.
If you are confident and calm you can improvise when talking. If you are afraid and nervous you tend to make mistakes out of nervousness. When acting when you are nervous its important to have a plan and an identity. That means you know what you want to do and you know what you don’t want to do and you know it well. This means you know what you are going to say, you know your body language, you know your vocal tone, and you know eye contact. You practice and you memorize this many times so when you are nervous you just react to the nervousness by doing what you practiced. Maybe you practice practice for several hours a day for numerous days.
Patience. Don’t just approach that dime bitchy girl in your social group to start off. You want to work your way up patiently. I would recommend you start by approaching 7s outside of your social groups in places where there are no reputational consequences. You to cement your confidence and your approach style. You want success. That might mean numbers or that might mean more for you. Then after you know you can succeed in the minor leagues then you move up to the big leagues. However, it is experience that solidifies your confidence and makes it secure so you want to be sure you have experience to rest upon so rejection won’t phase you. You don’t want success without first solidify yourself because you won’t be able to handle some situations that arise with the girl.
The most important thing is to have success with women is to remove approach anxiety. The more success you have the less likely rejection will hurt your confidence and esteem. Experience validates you and makes you feel like you belong. If you are dealing with a dime then you are dealing with a woman who on a deep subconscious level has great confidence with men and by that I mean on a subconscious level in her words and actions she believes from her head to her toes she can get any man she wants. Also, she knows that men want her. You can’t just say a few affirmations a few times or just try to have a good mindset and remove the lack of experience. Its going to show when she does things to question your value and when that happens your insecurities are revealed. You don't want to walk around with a beautiful woman feeling like a phony.
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