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How to keep composure upon seeing a beautiful woman? https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=25&t=167466	Page 1 of 1

Author:	DutyHonorCountry [ Sun Aug 18, 2013 8:45 pm ]
Post subject:	How to keep composure upon seeing a beautiful woman?
My "approach anxiety" originated from this specific problem I have--in fact I believe that if men of all ages never had this problem, then there would be NO such thing as pick-up artists or any kind of dating advice! I say this because of that negative adrenaline rush a man gets when he sees a stunning girl. This negative rush is instantaneous and hits you HARD I experience it all the time and it screws me over all the time because its the cause of me hesitating and actually THINKING about what to say due to my mind being wrapped around how to GET the girl rather than actually know about her and develop a potential relationship. Also this paralyzing effect leads me to doubt myself and critique my physical appearance rather than my raw self. A friend of mine described me as a Smart, dedicated, responsible, hilarious and a kindhearted person--now this doesn't mean I belong in the friend zone because I do have some sort of confidence. Who wouldn't want a man like this? unlike other dudes who would leave a girl hating the world and men after a breakup, I would be the type of guy to leave a girl just as I found her (I have done this too) Sadly, due to this feeling I get, I have a hard time approaching a gorgeous girl naturally and would have to start planning moves in my head. I would normally go to a person, say "hello" without an exaggerated smile on my face and my hand out ready to shake their hand firmly. But for some reason this is difficult for me to do because of what society considers "creepy" or "unattractive" to women especially the young and gorgeous ones in their 20ies. Sorry for the long message, but I am trying to get this sorted out. THANKS!

Author:	Don Horneone [ Sun Aug 18, 2013 10:44 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: How to keep composure upon seeing a beautiful woman?
This belongs in general questions, but to look at it more theoretically, I'm not convinced the reaction itself is the problem. Would the girl rather a guy was disinterested or even repulsed? I think it's the way we learn to handle the reaction that's the issue. As an analogy, some people get treated badly and lash out violently at others. Other people instead turn the anger in on themselves, sometimes even to the extent of self-harming. Anger and lust are perhaps comparable as they're both natural impulses that society encourages us to regulate very carefully, sometimes to our own detriment The problem here is that I think some of us immediately and instinctively turn our attraction responses inwards, turning them into a problem that we need to handle somehow, rather than simply treating them as a fact of life, and something to be appreciated and not ashamed of. Like the self-harmer we would rather cause ourselves pain and frustration than direct our impulses outwards and end up hurting or even just inconveniencing another person. One of things I love about the shock and awe technique is that it completely reverses this emphasis. It says to the girl, albeit playfully, that if anything the problem leading to this response lies with her. How dare she inconvenience you and disrupt your day by standing there looking attractive? What the hell is she playing at? I think that because women are responsive to your frame, if you don't feel okay about your attraction to her, there's just no possibility that she will. However if you treat your attraction towards her as a fact as inevitable as the tides, something you have no control over and therefore couldn't possibly apologise for, and even go as far as to blame her for the disruption, then you're on a very different footing. Hope that's of some help.

Author:	poeticlyskuac [ Sun Aug 18, 2013 11:58 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: How to keep composure upon seeing a beautiful woman?
This does not belong in the forum lounge.... Please do not answer when posts are incorrectly placed as it only supports the behavior. Please follow the forum rules. Peace and Love, Vic

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