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Need Second Date Ideas
https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=25&t=162441		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  poodogr [ Thu May 16, 2013 7:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Need Second Date Ideas
A girl I went out with last night wants to do something again.

We had a good first date; we sat on a patio and it was nice out. We had a couple drinks and I ordered an appetizer, not really feeling like eating, and we split it.

The check came out and she offered to "go Dutch." Like the good playa I am, I of course accepted her offer.

I walked her home and txted her this morning; she's all for going out again, but busy Friday and Saturday night. Says she's got a family thing and a girls night.

You guys know any good ideas for second dates when you've already done the restaurant/bar thing? I thought a dinner would be repetitive/ boring and just drinks might not fly bc she doesn't really drink (only had two glasses of wine at dinner)

The weather looks like it might be nasty Sunday; cloudy and likely rain.
Author:  ChitownMaverick [ Thu May 16, 2013 7:53 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Need Second Date Ideas
I swear, if guys didn't insist on taking women on fancy dates, they'd be getting laid a lot more.

Your place or her place.

With some plausible deniability.

"Hey Saturday night I'm going to have some wine and watch this sick movie I rented. Would you care to join me?"

That's literally all you need to do.

She knows it will lead to sex and will appreciate your subtlety. This is speaking her language.
Author:  skills360 [ Thu May 16, 2013 8:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Need Second Date Ideas
Read the part of this article were I talk about the ideal hangouts, you need to stop doing dates cause it gives you provider frame instead of lover frame:

http://www.theskillsmethod.com/how-to-p ... encounter/


p.s. Make sure you read the rules, this does not belong in the lounge...
Author:  Jay (Majik) [ Thu May 16, 2013 8:09 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Need Second Date Ideas
Quote:
I swear, if guys didn't insist on taking women on fancy dates, they'd be getting laid a lot more.

Your place or her place.

With some plausible deniability.

"Hey Saturday night I'm going to have some wine and watch this sick movie I rented. Would you care to join me?"

That's literally all you need to do.

She knows it will lead to sex and will appreciate your subtlety. This is speaking her language.
x2

She already is obviously interested in you. Time to close the deal. You really can't do that at a restaurant. Get her back to your place.
Author:  poodogr [ Thu May 16, 2013 9:54 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Need Second Date Ideas
Quote:


p.s. Make sure you read the rules, this does not belong in the lounge...
Well, that's the thing; I did read the rules, but what they sound like to me is, "Don't ask for specific advice about one specfic girl/situation, like 'There's this one girl I really like, and she said THIS to me last night! What should I do? I really like her!"'

Posting a request for general advice that everyone else would be able to read and benefit from seemed okay to me.

As for trying to get her to my place so fast, on a second meet, this is what I've learned from experience:

"Think you can get a girl to come over to your place the second time you've seen her? Not so fast. You'll get this: don-t-ever-text-me-again-vt133971.html
Author:  ChitownMaverick [ Thu May 16, 2013 10:05 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Need Second Date Ideas
Quote:
Quote:


p.s. Make sure you read the rules, this does not belong in the lounge...
Well, that's the thing; I did read the rules, but they sound to me is, "Don't as for specific advice about one specfic girl/situation, like 'There's this one girl I really like, and she said THIS to me last night! What should I do?'"

Posting a request for general advice that everyone else would be able to read and benefit from seemed okay to me.

As for trying to get her to my place so fast, on a second meet, this is what I've learned from experience:

"Think you can get a girl to come over to your place the second time you've seen her? Not so fast. You'll get this: don-t-ever-text-me-again-vt133971.html
I just read that thread. The issue you somehow managed to miss was, that girl was never interested in hooking up with you to begin with. So of course you got that response when you finally made your intentions known. She knew you would eventually try to hook up with her, and that she'd have to bail out at some point.

That's what happens when you go out of your way to brag about your awesome car, drive her around in it, brag about your high-paying-job and the promotion you're up for...you were just being used. She was a shameless user, she never considered you a real suitor.

Girls who actually DO want to hook up with you, will appreciate the subtlety of plausible deniability (feedback you ALSO got in that other thread you posted, interestingly enough). My bad for assuming the girl actually liked you when you invited her over.

And stop talking about your job and your car.
Author:  poodogr [ Thu May 16, 2013 10:41 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Need Second Date Ideas
Quote:

And stop talking about your job and your car.
Interestingly enough, I explained that the car and job, respectively, only came up in the conversation naturally when topics like those came along.
Quote:

My bad for assuming the girl actually liked you when you invited her over.
Now that's a pretty dip-shitty thing to say to another guy, and fellow aspiring Poo-ah.

Plausible deniability is bullshit.

Your point about her probably being a user is valid, but if you had bothered to read any of that thread beyond the first paragraph, you'd know that the general consensus was that plausible deniability did not apply in that case.

She suggested, "aaah, your place?" and I redirected, "No I mean there're lots of cool restaurants/bars in that area [I'm not some scumbag out there just looking for sex]" Almost as if to say, "Hey, whooah, I'm not that easy!" One guy tried to say my response was boring and asexual, and he got some major shit for that, from a number of other members.
Author:  ChitownMaverick [ Thu May 16, 2013 10:45 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Need Second Date Ideas
It's not "dip-shitty," it's what you need to hear. Tough love kid.

You made it sound like she liked you, but on further detail begin given, at no point did she display the slightest hint of romantic interest in you.

Two of the guys in that thread gave you excellent feedback, both of whom you dismissed and whined about "personal attacks." You do realize that the only reason you reacted so powerfully to that feedback was because part of you knew it was true, right? That's why it resonated so strongly.

But you were only interested in hearing "there's something wrong with her," so somehow that was your takeaway despite much more experienced guys telling you that had nothing to do with it.

At no point did anyone say "plausible deniability is bullshit," and in fact several people (myself included) pointed out that yours sucked and told you to read up on it. You just read over those parts because they implied you had to do real internal work, which is really hard when the easy thing is to just blame someone else.

Hard now, easy later. Easy now, hard later.

Pick your path.

P.S. her texting you "ahhh, your place??" was not a suggestion to meet at your place. She was anxious and testing you to see whether you were really going to push the interaction towards romance or not. Since you did, and she could tell, and that's not what she wanted, she bailed. "What time should I swing by" is a suggestion to meet at your place. So is "should I get some beer on my way?" Stuff like that.

The message you got from her was hesitation and testing. And the other guy was right, regardless of whether he got internet-reamed for it. Your response was boring, asexual, and displayed fear of owning your desires.

If a girl knows you want to fuck her, and you tell her you're not some guy looking for sex, she knows you're lying and perceives you as weak and cowardly.

Just calling it like I see it.
Author:  Warped Mindless [ Thu May 16, 2013 10:55 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Need Second Date Ideas
Chitown is 100% right.

Chitown, its good to have you on here posting bro. I like your all you post over on the other forum and your insights are a valuable contribution here.
Author:  ChitownMaverick [ Thu May 16, 2013 11:25 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Need Second Date Ideas
Thanks Warped, good to be here. You guys have a cool group and there's a lot of discussion on here that's a good complement to the other forum.

Definitely like that there's a hypnosis/NLP section on here too.

Thanks for having me.
Author:  poodogr [ Thu May 16, 2013 11:28 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Need Second Date Ideas
As always, I welcome all feedback, good bad, indifferent, valid and invalid.

And nowhere did I ever "dismiss" feedback, but certainly will let you hear about it if it's an attack. Like that jerkoff who said "This was a shit test that you didn't pass."
- a jab that was dismissed and scoffed at by myself and other posters as well.

What I was mainly referring to in citing that thread was the guy who said close to the effect of "Props for trying to get her to your place, but it is high risk, high reward. Best to build more comfort first."

Which proves my point. This is what happens when you push for your place on not even a 2nd date, but second time you'd be seeing her, period. More comfort/deeper connection has to come first, then again, I made out with a girl on a first date and got a "this isn't gonna work/not enough in common/too different" upon going for a second meet

- and the advice I got then was, "You escalated too much too fast man,; even though she has already made out with you (if that's not an indicator of interest in seeing a guy again, according to ChiTown, I don't know what is!) and she knew a push for sex was gonna come on the 2nd date."

Looks like it's back to the RooshV forums and ReturnOfKings to refresh my technique on dealing with these callous, heartless, sell absorbed bitches.
Author:  ChitownMaverick [ Thu May 16, 2013 11:33 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Need Second Date Ideas
OK, you're doing the same thing you did in the other thread. Asking for feedback and then justifying why it's wrong, based on your own experiences and interpretations, without listening to the guys who are so familiar with this dynamic that they all appear to agree the exact same thing happened.

So here is my parting advice to you, a re-iteration of my earlier advice, since you started a thread asking about ideas for Day 2:

Your place or her place.

If she likes you she'll either agree or give you a little shit just to see if you're congruent, and then agree once she knows you are.

Learning to take things less personally will help you in many areas.

Also don't kiss girls until you're within arm's reach of the sex location, or at it. It releases tension and you want to keep that going until it can be fully released...catch my drift? That's just a personal preference though, plenty of guys kiss girls in public and on dates and stuff too.

Kissing is in no way an indicator she wants to see you again. Neither is fucking you for that matter. Kissing just builds comfort and is no big deal. It's not an investment at all.
Author:  poodogr [ Thu May 16, 2013 11:41 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Need Second Date Ideas
Thanks; last I said to her was I'd decide what we were gonna do, bc the weather will be shit.

Oh, she'll be txting soon. And when she does, I'll simply say; "You know, I'm just gonna chill-in Sunday after all and order delivery from my favorite Italian place up the street, and watch (insert a good, current pay-per-view-movie here). Why don't you join me!" - And play it by ear from there.

I will say though; I know this guy with phenomenal game, gets more girls home in a month than I have some years. He even had a girl say on a third date, "We'll, I'm really not comfortable meeting at your place since it's only our third date."

If everybody on that thread was right you simply can't have it both ways,

One said, "This was simply a shit test that you didn't pass. AAdvice people on this thread so far have even backed up.

Another said, "Yeah, she was just a user."

So which is right? You can't have it both ways.

But yes, I will pitch my place, and post the status. I'll post THAT in another section since once it gets to that level, it's no longer Lounge material. But I'll post a link to it saying its continued , etc.

Thanks again.
Author:  poeticlyskuac [ Fri May 17, 2013 1:07 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Need Second Date Ideas
THIS DOES NOT BELONG IN THE LOUNGE.
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