Or bad past as I should say.

I want to say that I am going to make this my last thread of the week and hopefully if things go right, my last thread for a while. It is a serious thread and I have looked into some of my reasons for talking about this so much.

Also want to thank warpedmindedness and many others on here for helping me with my previous threads, your advice will remain in my head.

I notice that when I am around Black girls, Asian girls, mixed race girls, Latinas and Brown girls I feel like a total boss. My confidence is sky high, I game them, get their numbers, and a lot of them love me. Like as of late I have noticed that Non-White women have taking a huge liking to me. Some approach me outright (Black girls have done this a lot and Brown girls have done this to a lesser extent) and open me, that is how much success I am having. Majority of the women I have been with were mixed race (Asian and White) or Latina.

Yet, whenever I am near a White girl, my confidence just like goes down the toilet in most cases. If she is a Blonde and good looking? It isn't even there.

I wrote down some reasons as to why I felt this way and these are the reasons:

1. Grew up in a traditional bible belt city throughout my teens and had a lot of bad experiences with White women
2. Was always told in the town that White women were "off the limits" for any guy who is a minority
3. Come on to the internet and not too many good posts involving White women and Indian men (mainly how White women just hate any guy who isn't Black or White)
4. Have seen Indian men dating and married to Black women, Asian women, and Latinas in real life but never White women, never ever.
5. Keep getting the impression that most White women will actively avoid me because of number 4.

Some of the harshest and most racist things I heard growing up were from White women. Things like "you ain't never gonna be no American" or "I don't care if those people do become doctors, they are backwards and I would not want my daughter being near one".

Here is the thing, as of late I have noticed SOME White girls have been kinder and more receptive to me. Yet I cannot get over this inner game issue caused by what I went through in my childhood and it just tears me apart some days.

I have looked into getting therapy because at this point and AS MUCH as you guys have helped, I feel that it will take a lot.

But I want to ask, are there cities in the world I can move to where I might actually meet couples which include Indian men with White women?