PUA Forum :: How Dare You Go into a Bar by Yourself?!!!

So some dude in the middle of a sausage fest calls you awkward, and another asks why you're out alone. I wouldn't have sit there and tried to rationalize with them. Instead I'd have straight up gone on the offensive and given shit back to them. I'd have laughed and made fun of whatever it is he's wearing. Or ask how they expect to pick up girls when they're 8, whereas when you're alone you have better odds. If they gang up on you, focus your energy on one or two guys and ignore the rest. But that's just me. I wouldn't have sit there trying to explain why I'm out alone.

I had a similar situation, what happened here is the insecure guy singled you out and the group mentality followed his lead, even though they probably disagreed with him. He was jealous of your confidence.

I would've stayed and said, "I'm a man, I do as I please. I guess you need your friends to hold your hand before you dare to walk into a bar. The fact is, you're sitting here talking to me RIGHT NOW, which proves I'm not that creepy guy in the corner anyway. I'm not controlled by what my friends do or what others think of me. I don't need my friends with me to have a good time. I like spending time with them, but I like going out by myself, because I like meeting new people. Why are you so offended by my confidence?"

Hold your frame AT ALL TIMES, even when there are no girls in the room.

But to say, "Hey fuck you!" Or get into this major conflict . . . what would that do for me?

I've learned that this chunk of Arlington County (just across the river from DC) is mainly huge groups of kids, frats, etc. who went to UVA, VA Tech, or well-to-do colleges along the northeast, where nobody is over 22-23. Kids come to the area with huge crews of friends, after they've all gotten jobs in DC. They all hit the nightlife scene out and about in Arlington, because, well, that's where the chic bars and expensive drinks are, not to mention the hot girls.

Quote:

Yup, I grew up there (and actually fall into the category of the person youre talking about haha). DC is very clique-ish, in terms of its wealthy WASPishness, but I didn't think the same held true for Arlington. Arlington is probably better in this respect (Georgetown/Glover Park is infinitely worse), though I think most people who go to bars tend to be kids right out of college, regardless of what city you're in.

I don't think its a problem to go out by yourself, especially on a weekday, but in the future I would not make it obvious that is the case. This guy probably said "You're awkward as fuck, man", because you looked that way. If you were talking to a lot of different people (not just your old roommate) and appeared sociable, nobody would have even noticed you were there alone. Yeah it takes balls to go somewhere alone, but don't forget how important preselection is. If you show up somewhere alone, people are gonna think you don't have any friends, not that you have big ginormous balls. That's just the reality.

Cliquishness IN DC? Hmmm, I find people in DC in general to be a little more authentic. I've comonly heard; "Man, I've gotta take at least one stop east of Rosslyn on the orange line to find cool people to talk to / girls actually interested in meeting new guys", etc.

Say you got a nice tan...

Asshole: You're awkward as fuck man.
You: Talk to me when you get a tan, pale fuck!

Say you have nice teeth. Maybe you're a dentist...

Asshole: You're awkward as fuck man.
You: You're teeth are yellow as fuck. Brush your teeth before trying to talk shit.

Say you have a Gucci wallet.

Asshole: You're awkward as fuck man.
You: *whip out Gucci wallet* See this. Talk to me when you can afford one of these. Fucking loser.

Man I could go on. I hope you got the point.

Author:	poodogr [ Thu Apr 04, 2013 10:15 pm ]
Post subject:	How Dare You Go into a Bar by Yourself?!!!
Hey guys, So there's this place around the corner from where I live that brews its own beer and has AMAZING $1.50 drafts on Wed. nights, like 4-9pm. I love going there on Wednesdays because the place gets PACKED but whether you'll see heavy loads of girls are hit / miss some nights. I wanted to go with a buddy from work, but he txted me as I got to the door that he got caught up w/ a family thing and couldn't make it. I figured I'd go in and grab a beer or two anyway just because; plus, "Hey, I walked all the way over here, why not?" I go in and lo-and-behold, my former roommate is there, with a crew of 8 of his college friends. We shoot the shit for a while; talk about jobs, what he thinks of the area since he moved here, etc. I meet his friends that I haven't met. Later in the night one of the guys just blurts out of the blue "You're awkward as fuck man." I asked, "Why? What're you talking about?" Then one of the other guys chimed in, "Who are you here with, man?" I said, "Well, I know David because we were roommates for a year; I've just been shooting the shit with him and enjoying the happy hour." He said, "No, I mean, 'Who'd you come with?'" I said, "Uhhh, nobody....the place is close to where I live and I like coming here on Wednesdays. Is there a problem with that?" He said, "People don't go to bars by themselves, dude!" His friends were all looking around at each other and at me and looking down, shaking their heads too. He continued, "I would NEVER go into a bar or club by myself, just because it's happy hour. You just don't do that." There was then this tangent subject we talked about where he said something about, if most people want to drink and don't have anyone who wants to come out, they just drink it at home. I said, "Actually, they say people who drink at home by themselves....that's a problem." (people have given me shit for it in the past). - but at that point I was too pissed off to stick around, so I closed out my tab and hit the road. What the fuck gives, guys??!! I thought it was supposed to be okay to go out by yourself. I thought, worst-case scenario, I won't have enough girls to approach and'll look wierd for being by myself; but NEVER in a MILLION years, expected to actually have someone essentially tell me, "How dare you go into a bar by yourself, man?" I wanted to crack that fucking guy in the face! - and it takes a guy out with a group of 8 of his college friends to say that. Shows who really has the balls here. What do you guys think? Should I have stuck around? Should this change my perspective on going out by myself? I've learned that this chunk of Arlington County (just across the river from DC) is mainly huge groups of kids, frats, etc. who went to UVA, VA Tech, or well-to-do colleges along the northeast, where nobody is over 22-23. Kids come to the area with huge crews of friends, after they've all gotten jobs in DC. They all hit the nightlife scene out and about in Arlington, because, well, that's where the chic bars and expensive drinks are, not to mention the hot girls. But the DC area started showing up on all of these lists over the past few years of "Best Places for Young, Single College Educated Guys to Move!" - mainly because of it's single women ratio. It was a 7 year trek for me to get qualified enough where I'd have a job up here that'd let me live how I want. I think the secret got out, and the dudes just started pouring in. It's common to walk into a place and see nothing but tables of no fewer than 5-6 people, mostly dude-heavy. If girls are out; they're with no fewer than 4 girlfriends; or a bunch of dudes; they all went to school together somewhere. They call this the "orange-line corridor" (follows the metro). Is this a "When in Rome" kind of thing? I mean, if it looks that awkward to be out by yourself (although it should be perfectly acceptable no matter what) if the status quo is that you turn up with no less than 5 friends, stay home, or go out anyway and look awkward? Can there be such a thing as an "area that's just not conducive to meeting new women"? Oh and by the way, you're not being noticed as a super-cool, ballsey guy for being out by himself, by girls who are around and see you. Just wanted to run this by the community. I'd appreciate any feedback, good bad, or indifferent. Rob

Author:	Hunter_Foxe [ Fri Apr 05, 2013 12:42 am ]
Post subject:	Re: How Dare You Go into a Bar by Yourself?!!!
I had a similar situation, what happened here is the insecure guy singled you out and the group mentality followed his lead, even though they probably disagreed with him. He was jealous of your confidence. I would've stayed and said, "I'm a man, I do as I please. I guess you need your friends to hold your hand before you dare to walk into a bar. The fact is, you're sitting here talking to me RIGHT NOW, which proves I'm not that creepy guy in the corner anyway. I'm not controlled by what my friends do or what others think of me. I don't need my friends with me to have a good time. I like spending time with them, but I like going out by myself, because I like meeting new people. Why are you so offended by my confidence?" Hold your frame AT ALL TIMES, even when there are no girls in the room.

Author:	Fly_Swatter [ Fri Apr 05, 2013 1:05 am ]
Post subject:	Re: How Dare You Go into a Bar by Yourself?!!!
So some dude in the middle of a sausage fest calls you awkward, and another asks why you're out alone. I wouldn't have sit there and tried to rationalize with them. Instead I'd have straight up gone on the offensive and given shit back to them. I'd have laughed and made fun of whatever it is he's wearing. Or ask how they expect to pick up girls when they're 8, whereas when you're alone you have better odds. If they gang up on you, focus your energy on one or two guys and ignore the rest. But that's just me. I wouldn't have sit there trying to explain why I'm out alone.

Author:	poodogr [ Fri Apr 05, 2013 1:40 am ]
Post subject:	Re: How Dare You Go into a Bar by Yourself?!!!
Quote: So some dude in the middle of a sausage fest calls you awkward, and another asks why you're out alone. I wouldn't have sit there and tried to rationalize with them. Instead I'd have straight up gone on the offensive and given shit back to them. I'd have laughed and made fun of whatever it is he's wearing. Or ask how they expect to pick up girls when they're 8, whereas when you're alone you have better odds. If they gang up on you, focus your energy on one or two guys and ignore the rest. But that's just me. I wouldn't have sit there trying to explain why I'm out alone. Believe me, there was a lot more explaining I could've done, like talk about the friend who couldn't make it, etc., but I figured any self assured guy would simply take another sip of his drink, say "I live down the street and I like coming here on Wednesdays" and leave it that. A man can so stuff just because. But to say, "Hey fuck you!" Or get into this major conflict . . . what would that do for me? . . . Although I will say that I would've liked to have mentioned to him why he had to be there with a group of 8 college friends to be able to stand there and say that.

Author:	poodogr [ Fri Apr 05, 2013 1:42 am ]
Post subject:	Re: How Dare You Go into a Bar by Yourself?!!!
Quote: I had a similar situation, what happened here is the insecure guy singled you out and the group mentality followed his lead, even though they probably disagreed with him. He was jealous of your confidence. I would've stayed and said, "I'm a man, I do as I please. I guess you need your friends to hold your hand before you dare to walk into a bar. The fact is, you're sitting here talking to me RIGHT NOW, which proves I'm not that creepy guy in the corner anyway. I'm not controlled by what my friends do or what others think of me. I don't need my friends with me to have a good time. I like spending time with them, but I like going out by myself, because I like meeting new people. Why are you so offended by my confidence?" Hold your frame AT ALL TIMES, even when there are no girls in the room. Hey Hunter, can you share your similar situation? You can speak in generalities and leave names out of course if you'd be comfortable. And what'd you do?

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Author:	Fly_Swatter [ Fri Apr 05, 2013 1:46 am ]
Post subject:	Re: How Dare You Go into a Bar by Yourself?!!!
Quote: But to say, "Hey fuck you!" Or get into this major conflict . . . what would that do for me? Well that's my way of DHVing among guys. Guys who know you can stand your ground will respect you. Those who know they can pick on you will do just that -- pick on you.

Author:	Broseidon55 [ Fri Apr 05, 2013 1:58 am ]
Post subject:	Re: How Dare You Go into a Bar by Yourself?!!!
Quote: I've learned that this chunk of Arlington County (just across the river from DC) is mainly huge groups of kids, frats, etc. who went to UVA, VA Tech, or well-to-do colleges along the northeast, where nobody is over 22-23. Kids come to the area with huge crews of friends, after they've all gotten jobs in DC. They all hit the nightlife scene out and about in Arlington, because, well, that's where the chic bars and expensive drinks are, not to mention the hot girls. Yup, I grew up there (and actually fall into the category of the person youre talking about haha). DC is very clique-ish, in terms of its wealthy WASPishness, but I didn't think the same held true for Arlington. Arlington is probably better in this respect (Georgetown/Glover Park is infinitely worse), though I think most people who go to bars tend to be kids right out of college, regardless of what city you're in. I don't think its a problem to go out by yourself, especially on a weekday, but in the future I would not make it obvious that is the case. This guy probably said "You're awkward as fuck, man", because you looked that way. If you were talking to a lot of different people (not just your old roommate) and appeared sociable, nobody would have even noticed you were there alone. Yeah it takes balls to go somewhere alone, but don't forget how important preselection is. If you show up somewhere alone, people are gonna think you don't have any friends, not that you have big ginormous balls. That's just the reality.

Author:	FlexBrah [ Fri Apr 05, 2013 2:15 am ]
Post subject:	Re: How Dare You Go into a Bar by Yourself?!!!
Is your testosterone low? Why the fuck would you answer his question is beyond me. This is how it should've went down... aka a mans response with higher test than average. Examples. . . Asshole: You're awkward as fuck man. You: You're wearing a fucking old navy hat. Learn how to dress before you try to talk to me. ^^You have to dress better than average to deliver that line though. Asshole: You're awkward as fuck man. You: First of all, you're skinny/fat as fuck. Nobody gives a shit about your opinion. ^^You have to LOOK in better shape than average (e.g., lift weights, not have a swimmers body) to deliver that line. Find out your strong points. Then frame it in a way to shine light on yourself indirectly while clowning him directly.

Author:	FlexBrah [ Fri Apr 05, 2013 2:20 am ]
Post subject:	Re: How Dare You Go into a Bar by Yourself?!!!
Say you got a nice tan... Asshole: You're awkward as fuck man. You: Talk to me when you get a tan, pale fuck! Say you have nice teeth. Maybe you're a dentist... Asshole: You're awkward as fuck man. You: You're teeth are yellow as fuck. Brush your teeth before trying to talk shit. Say you have a Gucci wallet. Asshole: You're awkward as fuck man. You: whip out Gucci wallet See this. Talk to me when you can afford one of these. Fucking loser. Man I could go on. I hope you got the point.

Author:	poodogr [ Fri Apr 05, 2013 2:21 am ]
Post subject:	Re: How Dare You Go into a Bar by Yourself?!!!
Quote: Quote: I've learned that this chunk of Arlington County (just across the river from DC) is mainly huge groups of kids, frats, etc. who went to UVA, VA Tech, or well-to-do colleges along the northeast, where nobody is over 22-23. Kids come to the area with huge crews of friends, after they've all gotten jobs in DC. They all hit the nightlife scene out and about in Arlington, because, well, that's where the chic bars and expensive drinks are, not to mention the hot girls. Yup, I grew up there (and actually fall into the category of the person youre talking about haha). DC is very clique-ish, in terms of its wealthy WASPishness, but I didn't think the same held true for Arlington. Arlington is probably better in this respect (Georgetown/Glover Park is infinitely worse), though I think most people who go to bars tend to be kids right out of college, regardless of what city you're in. I don't think its a problem to go out by yourself, especially on a weekday, but in the future I would not make it obvious that is the case. This guy probably said "You're awkward as fuck, man", because you looked that way. If you were talking to a lot of different people (not just your old roommate) and appeared sociable, nobody would have even noticed you were there alone. Yeah it takes balls to go somewhere alone, but don't forget how important preselection is. If you show up somewhere alone, people are gonna think you don't have any friends, not that you have big ginormous balls. That's just the reality. Awesome, someone who's been in the area and knows what kind of place I'm talking about. In this case I mean Rock Bottom Ballston. I've been told by two people now separated by a generation that the orange line corridor in VA has been called "UVA 2.0". Cliquishness IN DC? Hmmm, I find people in DC in general to be a little more authentic. I've comonly heard; "Man, I've gotta take at least one stop east of Rosslyn on the orange line to find cool people to talk to / girls actually interested in meeting new guys", etc. I just don't hang out in Gtown bc it's a bitch to get to, but when I've been there the ppl have seemed approachable enough (3rd edition/Modern/Waterfront, etc). I don't know any thing about Glover Park. My main social hub is 18th and Connecticut and it seems as good as I've seen. How do you make it not look obvious you're by yourself when you're standing at a place like that back bar of Rock Botton.

Author:	skills360 [ Fri Apr 05, 2013 2:32 am ]
Post subject:	Re: How Dare You Go into a Bar by Yourself?!!!
1.- Been going to clubs and bars by myself for more than 10 years, would not change it for the world. 2.- why do you care about what people say specially dudes, learn how not give a fuck about others people opinion other than your own... You are like a little beta bitch just writing this post. 3.- why are you hanging out with a bunch of dudes????? instead of sarging pussy 4.- why do you let a dude talk to you like that, you are awkward as fuck, oh yea have you seen yourself in the mirror, i come out along and leave with pussy, you come out with a bunch of dudes, who is awkward and why the fuck you you care who i come here with, how is that of your biz? you want to cont. the convo. outside? Dude learn how not to take shit from anybody... anyways read this: http://www.theskillsmethod.com/sarging- ... dvantages/

Author:	Broseidon55 [ Fri Apr 05, 2013 2:37 am ]
Post subject:	Re: How Dare You Go into a Bar by Yourself?!!!
Quote: Cliquishness IN DC? Hmmm, I find people in DC in general to be a little more authentic. I've comonly heard; "Man, I've gotta take at least one stop east of Rosslyn on the orange line to find cool people to talk to / girls actually interested in meeting new guys", etc. Might just seem that way to me since I grew up there, so I tend to hit the same bars when I'm in town -- good to hear you're not experiencing that. I always have a good time on U street in Adams Morgan, cheap drinks and always different and new people. I'm not familiar with the venue you're talking about, or Arlington in general, as I don't go there often (I live in another part of the country now.) The few times I've been to Arlington have been great though. If you're hitting this place often, you should make friends with the bouncers/bartenders, this is always a good move and something I always try to do to the places I hit on the reg. Be on a first name basis with them, it can help you out a lot in the long run. If you talk to strangers as if you've known them for awhile, you'll make friends with new people in five minutes and nobody will know or care who you came with.

Author:	poeticlyskuac [ Fri Apr 05, 2013 2:49 am ]
Post subject:	Re: How Dare You Go into a Bar by Yourself?!!!
Laugh in his face, tell him "dude why are you so interested in me? You want my number? This interest in me is flattering but actually very creepy, dude I'm good move on now, I don't want you to buy me a drink or anything.... but it was nice meeting you big guy, you'll find the right guy for you one day." Actually reject him it is kind of funny. Dismiss him and his comments when he comes at you, honestly it's weird that he took interest in you and you denying him like he is hitting on you will push right into his insecurities it will possibly make him blow up.... Then just continue on "dude I told you I don't want a drink, I'm not interested in guys." A smirk on your face... I've been to like 50 concerts alone and people have asked me who I came with, I laughed and said me.... If they said you came by yourself? I look at them like they are weird and say yeah, I wanted to come so I came. It sound fun so I did.... do you not do the thing you want to do? Peace and Love, Vic

Author:	poodogr [ Fri Apr 05, 2013 5:03 am ]
Post subject:	Re: How Dare You Go into a Bar by Yourself?!!!
Quote: Say you got a nice tan... Asshole: You're awkward as fuck man. You: Talk to me when you get a tan, pale fuck! Say you have nice teeth. Maybe you're a dentist... Asshole: You're awkward as fuck man. You: You're teeth are yellow as fuck. Brush your teeth before trying to talk shit. Say you have a Gucci wallet. Asshole: You're awkward as fuck man. You: whip out Gucci wallet See this. Talk to me when you can afford one of these. Fucking loser. Man I could go on. I hope you got the point. I get what you're saying, but the "awkward as fuck" dude was twice my size. Another poster mentioned some pretty hardcore shit to say to him and the second guy, but from experience, that's the kind of stuff that gets you punched in the face.

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Author:	AFC AzA [ Fri Apr 05, 2013 5:22 am ]
Post subject:	Re: How Dare You Go into a Bar by Yourself?!!!
dude 1: dude your awkward as fuck !? you : watch this. (get up and sarge hottest woman) . how awkward was that ? (give him pity smile) dude2: no one goes to bar alone you: yeah, no ordinary guys go to bar alone. (im no ordinary bitch)