PUA Forum :: Girl gives option to flake, how do you respond?

And if she flakes? I would just say something like "OK, I guess you don't like having fun. Well, I have to go, I'll talk to you later" hang up with no intention of speaking to her again unless she calls me?

I made plans with a girl tonight to hang out tomorrow night. She says she is free then we set it up and she is like "I'm 99% sure I'm not doing anything" I didn't know how to respond, I just said "99%? *haha* fuck that" After that we spoke for like maybe 1 more minute.
Probably over analyzing here, but flaking is one thing that really makes me go nuts!

So what do you respond to something like that?

If you were talking to her yesterday, you should have got her address and confirmed THEN. No need to call her back yet AGAIN. Thus giving her another chance to flake, which she did. Just freeze her out. If she wants you, she can get a hold of you.

Her: We never talk anymore! You're supposed to be my best friend blah blah (can't really remember but basically like that)
. . .
Sounds to me she is a slut but doesn't want to initiate because she is in denial

lol

Quote:

Best friend . . . and slut together? No, that doesn't add up.

Doesn't sound like she's interested in romance from you. I'd say put her in your LJBF zone, because it sounds like she may have already put you in hers anyway. Go ahead, initiate contact, but only as friends. Take her shopping with you and things like that, as if she's your pivot or wing, which is pretty much all she's gonna be at this point. Then, by doing that, things MAY change down the road, but don't focus on that right now.

Author:	zomgpp [ Fri Feb 01, 2008 5:22 am ]
Post subject:	Girl gives option to flake, how do you respond?
I made plans with a girl tonight to hang out tomorrow night. She says she is free then we set it up and she is like "I'm 99% sure I'm not doing anything" I didn't know how to respond, I just said "99%? haha fuck that" After that we spoke for like maybe 1 more minute. Probably over analyzing here, but flaking is one thing that really makes me go nuts! So what do you respond to something like that?

Author:	Bright [ Fri Feb 01, 2008 5:57 am ]
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Make it clear to her that you have plans before your meeting, and set a time constraint on whatever event your taking her to. She's thinking worse case scenario, and she's planning her out. If you don't set limits on the situation, she may talk herself out of the whole thing and flake on you. Reduce her perceived risk by setting limitations on the meeting. Not only does this establish that your in demand (and show higher value), but it reduces the chance she'll flake.

Author:	zomgpp [ Sat Feb 02, 2008 12:49 am ]
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And if she flakes? I would just say something like "OK, I guess you don't like having fun. Well, I have to go, I'll talk to you later" hang up with no intention of speaking to her again unless she calls me?

Author:	Krylon [ Sat Feb 02, 2008 1:03 am ]
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Quote: And if she flakes? I would just say something like "OK, I guess you don't like having fun. Well, I have to go, I'll talk to you later" hang up with no intention of speaking to her again unless she calls me? There you go. You're the prize not her. Remember that.

Author:	L.A. Tripp [ Sat Feb 02, 2008 1:55 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Girl gives option to flake, how do you respond?
Quote: I made plans with a girl tonight to hang out tomorrow night. She says she is free then we set it up and she is like "I'm 99% sure I'm not doing anything" I didn't know how to respond, I just said "99%? haha fuck that" After that we spoke for like maybe 1 more minute. Probably over analyzing here, but flaking is one thing that really makes me go nuts! So what do you respond to something like that? That's good. Quote: And if she flakes? I would just say something like "OK, I guess you don't like having fun. Well, I have to go, I'll talk to you later" hang up with no intention of speaking to her again unless she calls me? That's the mindset to have.

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Author:	zomgpp [ Sat Feb 02, 2008 3:35 am ]
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So yesterday I told her I would call her after I got off work (to get her address/confirm meet, you know) So I call her 1 hour after I got off work, like 845 and of course she flakes. She was apologetic and it went something like this "OMG, you're going to kill me. I can't go with you tonight." "o'rly" "Can we go tomorrow night?" "No, I have work" "Pick any day" "I don't know, I'll have to call you. Guess I will have to have fun without you." "It won't be the same without me" something else is said for like 10 more seconds, I can't remember, then I say bye and hang up. I guess I will just not call her and if she really wants to meet up she will call me? I'm just pissed because I hit the gym this morning in anticipation of going out tonight, and all I want to do right now is smash some weights and I can't, lol...

Author:	L.A. Tripp [ Sat Feb 02, 2008 3:57 am ]
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If you were talking to her yesterday, you should have got her address and confirmed THEN. No need to call her back yet AGAIN. Thus giving her another chance to flake, which she did. Just freeze her out. If she wants you, she can get a hold of you.

Author:	zomgpp [ Sat Feb 02, 2008 4:01 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: If you were talking to her yesterday, you should have got her address and confirmed THEN. No need to call her back yet AGAIN. Thus giving her another chance to flake, which she did. Just freeze her out. If she wants you, she can get a hold of you. I fail, lol So I'll just forget about her unless she contacts me. Thanks for help.

Author:	zomgpp [ Sat Feb 02, 2008 6:38 pm ]
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So if a girl flakes and then re-initiates with you, how do you call her out on it and make it clear that is unacceptable without DLVing? I don't think it is possible...

Author:	L.A. Tripp [ Sat Feb 02, 2008 7:27 pm ]
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Exactly like that. You call her out on it and flat out tell her you don't put up with flakes. You're too busy. If she wants to be with you, she has to respect your time. Otherwise, she can have a nice life. This is NOT DLVing. Instead it's DHVing because it's showing that you have a life, hence you're valuable.

Author:	zomgpp [ Tue Feb 19, 2008 12:02 am ]
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lol, so I saw this girl yesterday for like1 minute (mind you, we haven't really had contact besides a passing "hi" since) Her: We never talk anymore! You're supposed to be my best friend blah blah (can't really remember but basically like that) Me: I haven't even seen you for more than 2 seconds. Besides, you have my # Her: Why should I call you if you're not going to want to call me? Me: oh well type of body/hand gesture Sounds to me she is a slut but doesn't want to initiate because she is in denial lol

Author:	L.A. Tripp [ Tue Feb 19, 2008 12:13 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: Her: We never talk anymore! You're supposed to be my best friend blah blah (can't really remember but basically like that) . . . Sounds to me she is a slut but doesn't want to initiate because she is in denial lol Best friend . . . and slut together? No, that doesn't add up. Doesn't sound like she's interested in romance from you. I'd say put her in your LJBF zone, because it sounds like she may have already put you in hers anyway. Go ahead, initiate contact, but only as friends. Take her shopping with you and things like that, as if she's your pivot or wing, which is pretty much all she's gonna be at this point. Then, by doing that, things MAY change down the road, but don't focus on that right now.

Author:	zomgpp [ Tue Feb 19, 2008 12:18 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: Quote: Her: We never talk anymore! You're supposed to be my best friend blah blah (can't really remember but basically like that) . . . Sounds to me she is a slut but doesn't want to initiate because she is in denial lol Best friend . . . and slut together? No, that doesn't add up. Doesn't sound like she's interested in romance from you. I'd say put her in your LJBF zone, because it sounds like she may have already put you in hers anyway. Go ahead, initiate contact, but only as friends. Take her shopping with you and things like that, as if she's your pivot or wing, which is pretty much all she's gonna be at this point. Then, by doing that, things MAY change down the road, but don't focus on that right now. I didn't plan on contacting her again or even letting her be my friend, but thanks for the advice.

Author:	mozyFresh [ Tue Feb 19, 2008 11:42 pm ]
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This is how one of mine kinda went. We'd been chatting by phone and she seemed to be abit reluctant to meet me, one of those shy goody two shoe type's. HB: i dont think i'll be able to make it on (day), everythings abit choc-a-bloc at the mo, maybe next week or on the weekend. Moz: are you just shy about meeting guys or something, we'll gonna have to meet up this week otherwise its never gonna happen, tell you what ring me friday, but you have to ring me, im not gonna call you...' She called, we went out

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Author:	mozyFresh [ Tue Feb 19, 2008 11:56 pm ]
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Another time, i had planned to meet up with this girl one night, we'd set a time and all that. I'd already been to her flat before, so i did'nt call her, i just went straight round. When i got there she said 'i was just about to call you, i was gonna tell you i've changed my mind' (something like that, my memories crap) 'but we may aswell go out now'. So the lesson here, if you can, dont call her to tell her your coming round, just turn up. Its alot harder for her to lie and flake in person.