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Girls Keep Over-Thinking After First Date
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Author:  poodogr [ Mon Apr 01, 2013 11:12 pm ]
Post subject:  Girls Keep Over-Thinking After First Date
Hey guys,

There's been this ongoing trend I've noticed; and it's gotten to the point where I can pretty much call it before it even happens.

I'll go out on a date with a girl (most online, but a few lately I've met in clubs beforehand).

We'll have a great time. I'll escalate, and we'll make out. Usually several times; many times she even comes with me to the second place and picks up the second round of drinks, since I got the first.

Each time she swears up and down that she wants to see me again, even texting me this later that night when she gets home.

The problem? I go for a 2nd date and, no-go.

Last week just that happened too; and I was even so sure of it that as I was heading out with my buddies to sarge Fri. night, I told him about the date and said, "Generally, the dates I have where things go really far really fast on the first night; I never hear from her again; like this one Thursday, I'll never hear from her again."

She and I had done a ton of txting prior to meeting. She seemed all about me, and late on in our date (after a makeout) she said that she never kisses guys on a first date. She later said she's never met anyone like me. Oh and I asked her to txt me when she got home just so I'd know she got home ok. She did, and said she definitely wants to see me again.

I texted her Saturday morning (a reasonable 2-ish days later) "Hey! How's it going?" No response.

About 9:00pm the same night, I txted, "Did you still want to do something again?"

I got an immediate response, "Hey, you're a nice guy and all, but I just don't think this is gonna work. I don't think we have enough in common. Sorry."

I txted back, "Nice. You could've just told me that back right away."

I know exactly what the fuck's going on here!

These girls are getting home, and over the next day or so they're reading through every single text we ever exchanged, and replaying every single moment of our date over and over in their heads, cross-examining them, probably even showing txts or photos to her girlfriends, maybe being told, "You kissed him??!! You never kiss a guy on a first date!"

Then they decide, "He's not perfect, so no."

What the fuck am I supposed to do??!! It's getting to the point where this is so overwhelmingly predictable it's driving me nuts. To be fair, the drinks we have on date 1 generally don't hurt as far as moving in the direction of a makeout.

But these are some decent connections I'm establishing here! A girl will come out with me for a 6 hour evening lol, always bounce with me to another venue, and even buy me an expensive drink or two (Adam Lyons "investment" theory, anyone?)

Odds are, if something was seriously wrong with me or how I did the date, I'd have heard about it that night, either on the spot or via txt when we got home later that that night. There would be no makeouts or enthusiastic txts that she wants to see me again.

But that can't explain why so many think and think and think and overthink their way right out of wanting to ever see me again. I'm sick of this shit!

What do I have to do to keep her from thinking so much where I don't even get to date 2? What do most of you guys do?

- Rob
Author:  Mak [ Mon Apr 01, 2013 11:46 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girls Keep Over-Thinking After First Date
IF it keeps repeating than it's not because of the girls its probably because of you.

Maybe your breath stinks or something who knows. Work on yourself to the smallest detail. It could be your personality. Very hard to say but these are some ideas.
Author:  poodogr [ Mon Apr 01, 2013 11:53 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girls Keep Over-Thinking After First Date
Quote:
IF it keeps repeating than it's not because of the girls its probably because of you.

Maybe your breath stinks or something who knows. Work on yourself to the smallest detail. It could be your personality. Very hard to say but these are some ideas.
I'm always chewing mints/gum up until the second I walk in and colone too (not too much)

You've basically just said a whole lot of nothing. If it were something like that; 99% I'd hear that night "nice guy but" (either in person or on the phone)

You've done nothing to address the connection I establish on date 1 and how far I get, and then why she then decides no thanks, after spending a 6 hour evening with me and even texting later that night that she wants to see me again.
Author:  skills360 [ Tue Apr 02, 2013 7:37 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Girls Keep Over-Thinking After First Date
You are giving nice guy/bf vibe after first meeting... I wrote a post on the subject:

http://www.theskillsmethod.com/how-to-p ... encounter/
Author:  User13247 [ Tue Apr 02, 2013 9:30 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Girls Keep Over-Thinking After First Date
I suspect these women didn't change their minds, I think they didn't really wanted to date you that much to begin with. I do think you could have fucked them. Like skills says, get them when the buying temperature is high.

Speculation aside, the best way to learn is feedback. So if it happens again, simply ask them instead of scolding them with 'You could have told me that earlier'. Like you said, you're never gonna see them again anyway, you've got nothing to lose.
Author:  Monsignor Crisanto [ Tue Apr 02, 2013 1:54 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girls Keep Over-Thinking After First Date
Quote:
I'll escalate, and we'll make out. Usually several times; many times she even comes with me to the second place and picks up the second round of drinks, since I got the first.
Your kino escalation appears to be good with the make outs and reciprocal drinks. However, your testosterone levels appear to be too low for her taste, hence, you were classified as a 'nice guy'.

Kissing transfers testosterone from your saliva to the mouth of the girl. If the testosterone she receives from you is about just right, then that should lead to the f-close.

Boost up your testosterone 4 to 2 hours before sarging.

You may also have failed to give her the emotional excitement she craves.

Emotional rollercoaster ride = penis in the vagina

Try to show your anger with girls some time. They'll kino escalate to pacify you which eventually leads to the fuck close.

:twisted:
Author:  poodogr [ Tue Apr 02, 2013 2:13 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girls Keep Over-Thinking After First Date
Quote:
I suspect these women didn't change their minds, I think they didn't really wanted to date you that much to begin with. I do think you could have fucked them. Like skills says, get them when the buying temperature is high.

Speculation aside, the best way to learn is feedback. So if it happens again, simply ask them instead of scolding them with 'You could have told me that earlier'. Like you said, you're never gonna see them again anyway, you've got nothing to lose.
This is great. Thanks for the post. It's a unique spin I haven't seen before. Honestly, opinions seem pretty split 50/50 among my friends and ppl here on this forum too. Some say "escalated too soon so she'll think you're just looking for sex if you see her again"; the other half says the date 1 was fine, but the follow-up was too "nice guy-ey"
Author:  skills360 [ Tue Apr 02, 2013 3:15 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girls Keep Over-Thinking After First Date
Quote:
Quote:
I suspect these women didn't change their minds, I think they didn't really wanted to date you that much to begin with. I do think you could have fucked them. Like skills says, get them when the buying temperature is high.

Speculation aside, the best way to learn is feedback. So if it happens again, simply ask them instead of scolding them with 'You could have told me that earlier'. Like you said, you're never gonna see them again anyway, you've got nothing to lose.
This is great. Thanks for the post. It's a unique spin I haven't seen before. Honestly, opinions seem pretty split 50/50 among my friends and ppl here on this forum too. Some say "escalated too soon so she'll think you're just looking for sex if you see her again"; the other half says the date 1 was fine, but the follow-up was too "nice guy-ey"

Escalating too soon is not the problem... The follow up is... Post the whole field report including text...
Author:  smushed [ Tue Apr 02, 2013 3:32 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girls Keep Over-Thinking After First Date
Yup, skills is right. When you follow up you have to get her back into the state when you met her. "Hey, how are you?" isn't going to do it. Also, why not call her if you've already made out?

Try to leave some hooks with her that you can follow up with when you get back in touch. If it was just making out and you didn't actually get her brain interested in you for anything more than making out, then it could make sense that it was just a for-that-moment thing.
Author:  crypticify [ Thu Apr 11, 2013 7:48 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Girls Keep Over-Thinking After First Date
I have had this happen to me a few times during my early days.

You are spot on when you say that she probably did over-think things and shared all the juicy details of your date and make out with her friends. In fact, "her friends" is an important factor (that pua can't control) that may play a vital role on the outcome depending on the type of girl you are dating. If she is insecure and seeking validation of her friends, she may have felt like a slut if her friends said something in the lines of "Oh..You made out with him on the first date ??????"

Women don't think linear....she most likely did enjoy ur first date...but changed her mind later. I know the pua norm is escalate fast and close ASAP...basically "Get the cake while it's hot" analogy. But, problem is sometimes it may scare off the chick especially if she liked you in the beginning.

Calibration was key in this case...(especially pacing the interaction/intimacy)

_________________________

Crypticify
"i don't believe in love, i never have i never will
i don't believe in love, it's never worth the pain that you feel."
Author:  Wall1e [ Thu Apr 11, 2013 2:06 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Girls Keep Over-Thinking After First Date
It's better to escalate fast and have her say stop, then not escalating at all, taking it slow.
While escalating it shows your sexual desire, that you desire her. If she feels that desire, she will like you.
I have to agree with skills, you probably were too much of a nice guy, or else she wouldn't have said that.
About what Hellhound said (even I didn't know that, thanks Hellhound for the facts), try to raise your testosterone level. Think of her in a sexual way, fantasize her naked while you give her mind-blowing sex, and she will feel it too.
Remember, women are just as sexual as men are, if not more. Let them feel it through you!

Wallie
Author:  Testicles [ Mon Apr 15, 2013 5:24 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Girls Keep Over-Thinking After First Date
Next time it happens, ask them why. They might as well tell you, since they're never going to see you again. Trust me. If you ask right, you'll get the answer.
As far as you nights go, I can't tell from a distance. Maybe something was off with you, or maybe you failed shit texts over the phone or something.
Just ask them what went wrong, and why you're not the kind of guy she would fuck. Be honest and straightforward.
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