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Responses to LONG waits
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Author:  Wilde [ Wed Jan 30, 2008 2:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Responses to LONG waits
Hey y'all,

So this girl, she's the first one mentioned in my first field report. Been going very very well texting for days and making an arrangement to meet with her tomorrow. Not heard from her for a few hours now which is odd as she normally texts back reasonably quickly. There could be loads of reasons for the wait, but just in general what's good to text a girl when you're expecting a reply and haven't heard? I'm assuming it's something CF?

Cheers,

Wilde
Author:  Jay Wa [ Wed Jan 30, 2008 2:14 pm ]
Post subject: 
Haha, I went through this pattern about five minutes ago.


"Come hang out this Sunday for the Super Bowl?" -Me
"I can't I got to work" - Her
"That sucks! Well, I'll let you off the hook this time, but you have to make it up to me in the near future" - Me

She didn't respond for a while, so I followed up with:

"And I will take your lack of response to mean, "That sounds great! I can't wait!". I see things the way I want to see 'em. :)"


BTW, still haven't heard back. . .but then again, it's only been five minutes (actually six now).
Author:  Jay Wa [ Wed Jan 30, 2008 3:21 pm ]
Post subject: 
"Haha, of course that's what I was saying" - This was her response (it came about 45 minutes later).
Author:  Arkitekt [ Wed Jan 30, 2008 7:22 pm ]
Post subject: 
I personally wouldn't respond with anything.

You are basically fishing for a response which isn't good. It shows
you have no options.

Just send the text out into space and go about your life. If she
doesn't respond in time, it's her loss. If anything, SHE should be
waiting for a text from you.

When texting, I try to wait just as long as she does to reply, if
not longer.

And yes, she could be doing anything, but that is no concern of
yours.
Author:  SexDrive [ Wed Jan 30, 2008 8:41 pm ]
Post subject: 
Plus you never know why she took so long. Sometimes I get up and leave my comp or phone in room and dont check them for a bit...
Author:  Krylon [ Wed Jan 30, 2008 10:26 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I personally wouldn't respond with anything.

You are basically fishing for a response which isn't good. It shows
you have no options.

Just send the text out into space and go about your life. If she
doesn't respond in time, it's her loss. If anything, SHE should be
waiting for a text from you.

When texting, I try to wait just as long as she does to reply, if
not longer.

And yes, she could be doing anything, but that is no concern of
yours.

I agree. Or try the blank text idea that I read about in here the other day. Send her a blank text and see if she responds with something to it. And then tell her you were trying to send a text to someone else.
Author:  Jay Wa [ Thu Jan 31, 2008 7:13 pm ]
Post subject: 
I agree. . .if it was some random girl I definitely wouldn't push it any further.
Quote:
Just send the text out into space and go about your life. If she
doesn't respond in time, it's her loss. If anything, SHE should be
waiting for a text from you.

When texting, I try to wait just as long as she does to reply, if
not longer.
I am pretty close to the girl who I was talking about- its not some random braod.

If your comfortable enough around her, you should be able to get away with doing stuff like that- no need for mind games. Sometimes its okay to be yourself!
Author:  Arkitekt [ Thu Jan 31, 2008 9:11 pm ]
Post subject: 
Call it my pessimistic nature, but I think mind games are never over.

If you and your girl date regularly or are close friends, then yeah,
I would think sending something like what you sent wouldn't be so
bad. However, even with my best friends, there comes a point where
I don't have time to keep prodding them to respond. Ultimately it's
not about mind games. It's about not letting others control your time.

Don't you hate it when you make plans to do something, then one of
your friends tries to hijack your plans; change the time, the date
venue... when it was your idea to begin with? This is kind of the same
thing. You are planning something (a date with a beautiful girl), but
you are letting her response to you predict when, where, and how
you do it. Anyway, I digress.

Close or not, I would still be careful. Make sure you are not annoying
her by always expecting a response or worse yet, sitting at home
counting the minutes for her to respond. Honestly, the way you wrote
it, it sounded like that's what you were doing, but I don't have all the
details. I'm not in your shoes.

Let's just say you should make sure she's earned whatever
send... and keep doing what works for YOU. :)
Author:  L.A. Tripp [ Fri Feb 01, 2008 2:20 am ]
Post subject: 
I agree with Arkitekt here.

Remember, if you are worried because she hasn't responded within a few minutes, you are just being needy and clingy, and that is NOT attractive to a girl. Even if you are close to her.
Author:  T8SIG92 [ Fri Feb 01, 2008 6:57 am ]
Post subject: 
or you should JUST CALL HER

:roll:
Author:  L.A. Tripp [ Fri Feb 01, 2008 8:23 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
or you should JUST CALL HER

:roll:
Which would be VERY needy and clingy if it's only been a few minutes . . .
Author:  skittlepimp [ Fri Feb 01, 2008 10:07 am ]
Post subject: 
good thread, ive been having issues with this lately, this thread definately helped
Author:  Jay Wa [ Fri Feb 01, 2008 4:00 pm ]
Post subject: 
After re-reading this thread, I can see where y'all are coming from. . .I blame myself for not giving you the full ocntext of the sitution.

I dated this girl a while back, but we remained close friends ever since. There have been many occassions when she has called several times in a row and I didn't pick up - not to be mean, but just because I was unavailable: We've never really judged each other for it.

Typically, I have been the one to control all the variables. So giving her a little bit of leverage wouldn't necessarily hurt my situation. If anything, she probably appreciated the attention.

I already knew that she was busy. I purposefully texted her as a joke, rather than anything else. Trust me, if you're close to the person, its really NOT awkward if you do that.
Quote:
or you should JUST CALL HER
True, but I was at work so I didn't want to get into a long conversation.

Let's just say this is push-pull, and you caught me right in the middle of pulling (if that makes any sense). I got online at the same time the OP posted about this. Thus, my first posts were in the heat of the moment. . . I was trying to give the OP something to relate to. But in retrospect, I suppose it was not the best advice for him.

Now I too can digress.
Author:  L.A. Tripp [ Fri Feb 01, 2008 6:13 pm ]
Post subject: 
I thought we WERE replying to the original poster . . . ?
Author:  Wilde [ Fri Feb 01, 2008 6:53 pm ]
Post subject: 
Haha yeah, nice hijack! :wink:

Update, I told her to text me yesterday evening in the afternoon, and she did, we had a little text convo, she made reference to the loose plan we've made for next week and I told her to "wake me up in the morning". She didn't.

So i've frozen her out all day and won't get in touch with her (unless she gets in touch with me) until tomorrow and make some reference to tuesday.

Good idea/bad idea? What do you think I should be doing?
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