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Internalization - or how I am not as natural as I thought
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Author:  SANAEM [ Mon Feb 25, 2013 9:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Internalization - or how I am not as natural as I thought
A funny thing happened recently... Maybe I should start off by saying that the first things I read about picking up and the seduction community must be around 8 years ago. And of course the MM was one the starting points/stepping stones I came across.


Now immediately flash forward to 2013. Searching for some new information (which is hard nowadays) you obviously run into the usual advice for 'beginners' very often. So there was a 'don't be nice' kind of advice adressed at some poor dude who was indoctrinated his whole youth with the idea that you should always agree with a girl and do as she pleases, i.e. be likable, to get her.

And I thought to myself: 'wow I cannot imagine being like that guy, thinking that being mr. Nice Guy and not imposing anything onto other will lead you somewhere...'. The same thought occured to me when talking to/observing a guy who is pretty succesfull in all the other things he does, except for the ladies.

I could not imagine having such misconceptions about women... yes I was lucky to be quite the natural in that area.

But then looking into some very old emails of mine, I was really shocked to find out that I WAS that guy once. :shock: So although it feeled really natural, and like I never knew any different, I did have to learn a lot of these concepts I now assume to be quite obvious. This really struck me, to be honest, but I do think it's funny and I'm sure this honest insight will progress my learning even more.

When pursuing my PhD in mathematics I had a similar experience. I was asked a question by first year students about multiplying matrices, and I could not wrap my head around the fact that these guys did not understand how it was done.... it seemed so natural and easy, how could one even think about it? But of course, once I did not know how to do it either, in fact, once I had no clue about matrix multiplications at all. So much for the nerd analogy.

So to make it an interesting topic: please share your ideas w.r.t. the internalization process, i.e. what works best for you to make new ideas/concepts part of your 'nature'?

For example when learning about new concepts/practical ideas (which are not completely obvious w.r.t. my current 'paradigm') I briefly remind myself of them before clubbing for example. Then after a lot of in field trial and error calibration it gets the form that suits me. After that I still have to actively incorporate it within my behaviour and then... without noticing it becomes part of me.

So please share your insights regarding this process, e.g. how to keep reminding yourself of these new ideas or how to enrich the internalisation. (For example I am familiar with anchoring [NLP], though I merely use this uncounsciously].

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Author:  skills360 [ Thu Feb 28, 2013 3:15 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Internalization - or how I am not as natural as I thoug
This is what works for me, internalizing the things that make sense to me from what i read, disregard what does not sound right or matches my field experiences, i really don't worry about authors, posters, methods, reputations, even kjs... i just worried about, based on what i have Experienced in the field on a constant basis does what i am reading matches or make sense? or not? and does it align with who i am as a person(congruent with me). Now this is the most important part, when you are in the field and interacting with women or before your mind should be blank with anything related to pick up(which is why some dudes drink, which i do not advise, you need to learn to do this without drinking, let shit flow), interacting with a girl you do not want to think, you just do... If you think and calculate you are fucked. You can think all you want AFTER. I kind of get what you are trying to do, but don't it will mentally masturbate you, and fuck you up during interactions... Which is the problem with blue print type products.
Author:  User13247 [ Thu Feb 28, 2013 6:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Internalization - or how I am not as natural as I thoug
The phenomenon that someone cannot imagine someone not understanding something is due to something called 'the curse of knowledge'. It is for this same reason that older people often claim that education was better when they were growing up, even when it was clearly not.

I think your reference to math is a good one. Learning something new requires a lot of practice, i.e. doing calculations. But practicing alone is not enough. To learn, you must also need to think about what you did wrong, i.e. check which answer you got wrong and why. While social interactions may not have such stringent rules about what is right and what is wrong as math does, I think it is often still quite clear if you did something wrong because you will get negative feedback. So those would be my three key points: 1) practice, 2) pay attention to feedback, and 3) reflect on what went wrong and why.
Author:  Bruce Wayne PUA [ Thu Feb 28, 2013 7:58 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Internalization - or how I am not as natural as I thoug
Precisely, doing this will keep you on the fast track of success. Just do your best to analyze at the right times.
Author:  Hunter_Foxe [ Fri Mar 01, 2013 5:25 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Internalization - or how I am not as natural as I thoug
The truth is, we were all born naturals. I have a distinct memory of sticking my head under a toilet cubicle at school when i was 6 years old and watching a girl i liked take a pee. She laughed because she thought it was funny that I'd seen her peeing. I couldn't understand why she didn't have a wiener, just a "mini butt" instead. Then of course I would often chase girls in the playground and lift skirts while they giggled. It wasnt until I hit my teens that I became self-conscious and it is this self-awareness and over-analysis which is purely influenced by our surroundings which destroys our natural sexual attitudes.

So I dont actually perceive my "learning" of natural game as learning at all. I am merely "unlearning" the bullshit society taught me as I was growing up. I had far better game aged 6 than I did aged 21.
Author:  7000 [ Sun Mar 03, 2013 12:01 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Internalization - or how I am not as natural as I thoug
It really is all about experience and practice. Think about everything you feel comfortable doing; why do you feel comfortable? You mentioned your maths phd, good example. But think about your uni time from a social point of view; when you first started did you feel comfortable with your surroundings? Probably not for a few days/weeks. But by the end of your degree, I imagine the uni felt like your second (or first!) home because you'd had 3 (or more if you did your masters at the same place) years there doing pretty much the same routine every week (ie; going into uni on week days, similar clubs/nights out/social life etc.)

It's the same with everything; new school, new job, new social scene, new friends, new subject, new language, new vehicle. At first it will feel uncomfortable - it may be slight discomfort or you might feel well and truly out of your depth. But after months and years of getting used to it, it just becomes second nature. If you passed your driving test at 17 (the age in the UK, not sure about elsewhere), by the time you're 20, driving is the most natural thing in the world and you can't imagine yourself not knowing how to do it. Even if you don't drive for a couple of months, you soon pick it up real easy again, because it has essentially become part of your nature.

Game/interaction etc. etc. is the same thing. If you get used to talking to random strangers, then after enough times doing it, it will seem extremely natural to you. Learning any new skill is pretty much all about repetition. And what are we doing here, if not learning a new skill?
Author:  SANAEM [ Fri Jun 07, 2013 11:00 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Internalization - or how I am not as natural as I thoug
Are there any shortcuts for incorporating certain behavior faster?
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