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Taking her feeling of guilt and shame away
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Author:  Txacoli [ Thu Oct 04, 2012 6:52 pm ]
Post subject:  Taking her feeling of guilt and shame away
Hi guys, I haven't been around for a while, but I'm back now :)
I was wondering if any of you could share your techniques for taking away the feeling of shame and guilt preventing the girl to relax and let you escalate all te way.

Background: I'm gaming a younger girl, inexperienced in lesbian stuff, who claims she is straight. She lets me escalate somewhat, actually, in a weird way. She'll let me touch her everywhere and kiss her everywhere with the clothes on. She won't let me kiss her, except sometimes without a tongue. So I fondle her breasts and stuff, but I don't get to kiss her. She claims she is straight and this is just friendly cuddling because she likes me sooooo much as a friend ;) I don't buy it of course, actions speak louder than words. When she does let me kiss her, she clearly enjoys it and almost lets me kiss her for real, but then she backs out, saying she likes boys and doesn't like me that way. To me it's clear she is feeling confused and scared because of the gay thing, she's denying it turns her on, because I can see it does turn her on. How do I take away that feeling of shame and make it acceptable for her to play with me?
I've been using the line, you're so attractive and hot, I can't help myself around you, to escalate and it does work. What else can I do?

She always responds to texts, phone calls and suggestions to meet positively and has developed an emotional bond with me.

Help if you can, thanks in advance :)

Cheers, Txa
Author:  poeticlyskuac [ Thu Oct 04, 2012 7:19 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Taking her feeling of guilt and shame away
Quote:
Hi guys, I haven't been around for a while, but I'm back now :)
I was wondering if any of you could share your techniques for taking away the feeling of shame and guilt preventing the girl to relax and let you escalate all te way.

Background: I'm gaming a younger girl, inexperienced in lesbian stuff, who claims she is straight. She lets me escalate somewhat, actually, in a weird way. She'll let me touch her everywhere and kiss her everywhere with the clothes on. She won't let me kiss her, except sometimes without a tongue. So I fondle her breasts and stuff, but I don't get to kiss her. She claims she is straight and this is just friendly cuddling because she likes me sooooo much as a friend ;) I don't buy it of course, actions speak louder than words. When she does let me kiss her, she clearly enjoys it and almost lets me kiss her for real, but then she backs out, saying she likes boys and doesn't like me that way. To me it's clear she is feeling confused and scared because of the gay thing, she's denying it turns her on, because I can see it does turn her on. How do I take away that feeling of shame and make it acceptable for her to play with me?
I've been using the line, you're so attractive and hot, I can't help myself around you, to escalate and it does work. What else can I do?

She always responds to texts, phone calls and suggestions to meet positively and has developed an emotional bond with me.

Help if you can, thanks in advance :)

Cheers, Txa
Hey lady,

Good to have you back. I would respond to her with building strong sexual tension, when I go to get a girl in bed I make her want it more than me. Since you have a connection and attraction, I'd say you need to continue to focus on the more for her pleasure sexual tension.

Make her realize your abilities in bed, how good you are at what you do. Make her curious about it with you and how much better you can do it than any man because you know what women like and how you understand better than any man ever could. I'm not big on advertising old stories with girls but in this situation I feel you may need to let her know how this one time this one girl type stories not to demonstrate your value, but to spark her curiosity with you.

There is a book written by a writer(professor) around where I live that I've been meaning to read. Her name is Lisa Diamond books name is Sexual Fluidity. Here is a description:
Quote:
Is love “blind” when it comes to gender? For women, it just might be. This unsettling and original book offers a radical new understanding of the context-dependent nature of female sexuality. Lisa M. Diamond argues that for some women, love and desire are not rigidly heterosexual or homosexual but fluid, changing as women move through the stages of life, various social groups, and, most important, different love relationships.

This perspective clashes with traditional views of sexual orientation as a stable and fixed trait. But that view is based on research conducted almost entirely on men. Diamond is the first to study a large group of women over time. She has tracked one hundred women for more than ten years as they have emerged from adolescence into adulthood. She summarizes their experiences and reviews research ranging from the psychology of love to the biology of sex differences. Sexual Fluidity offers moving first-person accounts of women falling in and out of love with men or women at different times in their lives. For some, gender becomes irrelevant: “I fall in love with the person, not the gender,” say some respondents.
This may help in your quest for sparking curiosity in women. I haven't read it but I've been meaning to as I have met her, though she wouldn't remember me. She is a sharp woman and I have been curious to read this for a while.

I guess you want to make her want sex more than worrying about shame and guilt as well as make her focus on wanting it MORE! I think the book would help you help her understand that is natural and normal. It helps that it is backed by a woman with a PHD.

P.S. I hope you didn't mind that I used you and some of your ideals in my blog on oral sex. You were a big inspiration in the blog. http://scienceofnaturalgame.com/2012/05 ... er-squirm/ I quoted you, gave you credit, and everything. It is by far my most popular blog, which is upsetting considering my knowledge in other areas. I sent you a message with the link.

Peace and Love

Vic
Author:  Txacoli [ Thu Oct 04, 2012 7:53 pm ]
Post subject: 
poeticlyskuac, thanks for your advice and a great book suggestion! I will definitely try to get a copy :) This area interests me very much, since I've had a rise in my attraction for men as well lately. I also like your suggestion about raising her interest and stimulating her imagination, I will definitely have to work on that. I don't know this girl well, but I have a strong feeling she's a bit kinky, so If I can find her kink, I'm sure it will help. Our conversations have been turning sexual more and more and I just love the bad girl behind that good-girl facade. You also reminded me I should probably do more of purely physical push-pull action, I've noticed she seeks contact when I take it away. I can't believe I forgot about that!

And your article is great! You just brought a huge smile on my face, I'm really glad you liked my advice on the forum, it means a lot to me :D I love your style of writing btw, very fluid, juicy and with the right amount of playfulness and humor! Great! I'll have to read the rest of your blog ;)

Thanks a lot, love and a big kiss :*
Author:  puaninja [ Thu Oct 04, 2012 7:53 pm ]
Post subject: 
This is some sort of lesbian LMR it sounds like. It's possible she is apprehensive because she's not sure if she really likes you, or maybe she is just confused about her sexuality, or even a mixture of both. She may just be a hard nut to crack, so just keep working your game on her and she should eventually come around.
Author:  Txacoli [ Thu Oct 04, 2012 7:57 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
This is some sort of lesbian LMR it sounds like. It's possible she is apprehensive because she's not sure if she really likes you, or maybe she is just confused about her sexuality, or even a mixture of both. She may just be a hard nut to crack, so just keep working your game on her and she should eventually come around.
Yeah, exactly, lesbian LMR haha, I'll definitely keep going, we're planning a dinner at my place, which is perfect for her to feel more relaxed, I'll try to bring the tension up by not touching her at first and then doing some push pull. I'll have plenty of time, which was sort of limited on previous encounters. Thanks for your reply!
Author:  Fatale [ Thu Oct 04, 2012 8:04 pm ]
Post subject: 
I can understand your situation... There some good advice already given here :) Try to make her comfortable (dinner sounds good), trigger her imagination, keep her waiting for physical contact and push-pull...

Good luck :)
Author:  Txacoli [ Sat Oct 06, 2012 2:06 am ]
Post subject: 
Haha, nice :) I was looking forward to some of your wisdom Hobbit, but I see you have other priorities :D :*
Author:  SexAddict911 [ Sat Oct 06, 2012 3:46 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Taking her feeling of guilt and shame away
Quote:
Hi guys, I haven't been around for a while, but I'm back now :)
I was wondering if any of you could share your techniques for taking away the feeling of shame and guilt preventing the girl to relax and let you escalate all te way.

Background: I'm gaming a younger girl, inexperienced in lesbian stuff, who claims she is straight. She lets me escalate somewhat, actually, in a weird way. She'll let me touch her everywhere and kiss her everywhere with the clothes on. She won't let me kiss her, except sometimes without a tongue. So I fondle her breasts and stuff, but I don't get to kiss her. She claims she is straight and this is just friendly cuddling because she likes me sooooo much as a friend ;) I don't buy it of course, actions speak louder than words. When she does let me kiss her, she clearly enjoys it and almost lets me kiss her for real, but then she backs out, saying she likes boys and doesn't like me that way. To me it's clear she is feeling confused and scared because of the gay thing, she's denying it turns her on, because I can see it does turn her on. How do I take away that feeling of shame and make it acceptable for her to play with me?
I've been using the line, you're so attractive and hot, I can't help myself around you, to escalate and it does work. What else can I do?

She always responds to texts, phone calls and suggestions to meet positively and has developed an emotional bond with me.

Help if you can, thanks in advance :)

Cheers, Txa
Hi Tx :D, It's been a while. I am glad to see you've returned. I haven't been around for a little while myself, but could not resist saying hello.

From what I've read, it would seem that she is genuinely bi-curious. However, she is still be in a state mind where she associates sex with relationships and dating. The fact that you have developed a strong emotional bond could in fact be what is hindering your advances.

She could be resenting not liking it and hurting your feelings or many other factors.

I suggest slowing down on the emotional connecting and start to create more of a sexual vibe, separate the two.

Focus more on being her friend rather then the girl that "wants to date her" or change her. (Even if you're not that girl it still could be in her thoughts.)

Re-establish your comfort and bond as "Friends". And from that point on do not associate any intimate touching with your emotional bond. When you do talk about sex, make it raw and passionate, dirty and sexual, with no emotional investment.



Hopefully this will trigger her natural sexuality and genuine curiosity without the fear or guilt. When you do make any sexual advances. Keep it in the raw, naughty and passionate state.

Even if your intentions are to get her to switch teams, rocking her world first can definitely help. ;)
Author:  kasabi [ Sun Oct 07, 2012 8:34 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Taking her feeling of guilt and shame away
Wow, so telling her that you're really, really horny + clawing away at her didn't help take her feeling of guilt and shame away? I'm shocked. . . Alright that's a joke. . .

^Isn't this the type of shit that guys did that turned you into a lesbian in the first place? - Har, har . . . that was a joke too. . .

I'm just poking fun because I thought it was usually the female members who try to calm the horny guys down and teach them to think in the prospective of the girl. You do this to her and you do that to her. She let's you do this to her and that to her. Jeeze lady, other than doing the blow-up fuck doll act, what's in it for her?

Let it go . . . let me please you . . . let me take care of you. . . .this is between you and me. . . .

is better than

I'm horny, I'm horny, I'm horny, said 3 different ways.

Putting her hand on your breast while staring into her eyes and nodding OK . . .

is better than

Clawing away at her fun buttons.
Author:  Txacoli [ Mon Oct 08, 2012 1:49 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Taking her feeling of guilt and shame away
Thanks for your answer SA!

Kasabi, yes, you're absolutely right.
Quote:
what's in it for her?
I do try to make it about her, it's not like it's just sex for me without emotions, I treat her really well, I focus on her, on her pleasure, but I'm wondering how can I make her see that there's nothing wrong with her if she enjoys it. She denies that she derives pleasure from our encounters, although she clearly is, and it's gentle, with emotion, she's just in denial. She reciprocates the touch and it's also filled with emotion, not just sensual, but really loving.
Quote:
Let it go . . . let me please you . . . let me take care of you. . . .this is between you and me. . . .
Yes, you are absolutely right. Thanks for this. I'm seeing her in two days, I'll see how things go. We've been in touch and shared intimate stuff etc.
Author:  snillaheart [ Mon Oct 08, 2012 3:47 am ]
Post subject: 
i believe you have to rationalize her every objection in doing stuff with you, just like spin the bottle rationalizes guys openly kissing girls. your game has to be smooth too have a good escalation ladder and investment ladder.

rationalize escalation as you escalate not after!

ex: this is between me and you, this is all a dream, adventure, let me show you a massaging technique just real quick 5 sec

thats only one componenet

gaming girls as a guy is different when gaming girls as a girl
as a dude i also have to be the selector in an interaction which means i have to disqualify them if im denied escalation or use empathy depending on the situation.

another thing is you should engage women emotioanlly whenever they reject you
dont ever try to rationaly convince them to be open to escalation.

good luck txacoli
Author:  Txacoli [ Mon Oct 08, 2012 4:05 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thank you for your answer snillaheart, I like the way you think, especially the bit about engaging emotionally after rejection, I'll try to keep that in mind!
Author:  Txacoli [ Tue Oct 09, 2012 10:33 pm ]
Post subject: 
Just to let you know, we've made nice progress, thanks for all the answers, in the end it was a combination of a little push-pull, making her feel I want to please her and she's important to me. I've also managed her expectations properly, which is a big deal for me, it has always been a sticking point. Thanks again to all the posters.

Cheers and a happy good night from me :)
Author:  MrBen [ Wed Oct 10, 2012 1:16 pm ]
Post subject: 
get. her. drunk.
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