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| My Insights after 1 year of self-development https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=25&t=142857 |
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| Author: | *FlaiR* [ Sat Aug 11, 2012 6:14 am ] |
| Post subject: | My Insights after 1 year of self-development |
I'm giving a little glimpse of what I've learned so far... I'm thinking what I could write after 1 year of pushing myself and there's so much stuff it's crazy, so I'll just write some insights that might be helpful for some of you guys and tell you a little bit of my path so far. One thing that just baffles me about this community is the massive failure rate. I see this all the time. Very rarely I can find a good wingman or someone who has a true passion and dedication to this. One problem that I found after meeting lots of people who talk shit but stand in the corner doing nothing is their lack of patience and their desire to immediately get good by learning and memorizing theory/routines. This is one of the worst mindsets you can have. Almost every guy who gave up that I know was lacking patience in achieving skill that can be insanely tough to acquire. I never understood this. I never had this problem. I knew the path that I had to walk...something inside me told me that this wasn't going to be easy. So I took my time and dedicated effort to improve any area that was bringing my success down. I remember how everyone around me gave up after barely 2 months and how I was going out, scared as shit to just approach. When I approached somewhere around 10 sets a night, I would see it as a big success. And I remember how the people around me that were sitting at home eating doritos were sending texts that were mocking me that I wasn't getting any good...I wasn't "closing". I deleted these stupid messages and always went home happy about ANY small progress I made. Any small step meant to me that I'm walking a path to a better future. I knew sometimes I was a pussy, I had terrible nights like everyone has, but I always kept my head up. There was never an option for me to give up. You need to understand that once you made the decision that you're stepping up the quality of your life, there's NO WAY BACK. Now with that being said, some people say that they're stepping up...but let's see...they go out 1 time every month. No wonder you're not improving. If you want to have great control with a soccer ball, you'll have to touch the damn ball every day to have a good feeling of it's surface and master it's direction and force with every kick. Do you want success with women? I'm sorry...you'll have to interact with a lot of them. Like any skill, there's a path to mastery; and the key to success is not theory; it's action. This is one of the things that I learned after I stopped reading seduction material. EXPERIENCE beats the shit out of THEORY. Stop asking questions of "What should I do now? I have a phone number? Should I text her this or this?" Shut the fuck up and learn. Do what you think is good. Don't be afraid to fail. I want you to stop using this word...it means absolutely nothing. Failures are learning lessons. You're increasing your reference experiences in your brain, so that next time, you won't fuck up anymore. Stop the theory. Gather experience! When you're living an experience, it gets printed in your brain...useless words and theory do nothing to you. It's in the ring that the action takes place. So put on a pair of gloves and expect to get hit. After a while, I met people who were much better than me (The Mack & OliverKing). I recommend to anyone to try to have in your social circle people that you can learn from and who're better than you. These guys made me think of something I have never thought since I started the journey: my inner world. And this comes with one my most profound and important things that I've learned after 1 year. Internal reality is much more important than external reality. In other words, if your inner game is very strong, your outer game is almost nothing. When you're grounded in your own reality and you know who the fuck you are...people can't mess with you. You stop looking for approval and guess what...that attracts girls as fuck! How you view the world, how your self-image affects your emotional state and how you let your thoughts dictate what actions you should take can have an amazing impact in your dating life. Here's when the ego comes up in the equation. I recommend to everyone to learn about the ego and it's mechanisms of fucking your life up (Power of Now - Eckhart Toll). The ego is the only thing that keeps you from having that special girl in your arm. It's a false identity created by the mind, that attaches itself to any external circumstances. It's always seeking something to attach and put meaning to it. It's attached to responses from other people, how you look, what you do, what's your "external reputation", etc. Detach your ego from the outcome of how other people behave when you interact with them. This sounds really easy, I know...but it's something that with practice, you become better and better at it. YOU'RE ENOUGH The last insight + this one combined together can make you kill a night like crazy. I always thought when I started the journey, that for hot girls, I had to do or say something different to get them...like they were special human beings or something. Now, 2 months ago, I started having really good nights every time and I started making out - almost pulling some really high quality girls (not a lot of course). Because I was having a good night, I was feeling so good about myself that when I was approaching them I had this vibe about me that exuded value and positive emotions. I made out with one in about 1 min and 30 sec and on the street, in front of a big guy who spent all the night with her and who didn't made a move on her. He wanted to beat the shit out of me...but the point is...I remember how that opened my eyes that I'm enough. I didn't do anything different or a special magic trick to get her...I was confident; I looked her in the eyes without flinching, I grabbed her head and made out. Let me repeat: YOU ARE ENOUGH. When you believe this not with 99.5%, but with 100%...what happens is that you stop thinking about what to say to impress her or to "move the conversation forward" and you start to immediately express cues of dominance that gets her attracted. And that's when the "outer game" or "what you say" is irrelevant. Like reallllyyy irrelevant I can't emphasize this more. I have seen, did and witnessed the most absurd sentences, comebacks that made no sense, yet the girl enjoys it so much it's crazy. HOW is always more important than WHAT. HOW you say a sentence is wayyy more important than WHAT do you say. Girls don't give a fuck about the material content. They're emotional creatures...they never look at the word by word content, but what feelings do they have when you express yourself. I still have so much to say...but I'll stop here. I did my best to try and write some of my insights that came not from reading...but from going out every fucking week for the past year. Every fucking week. With that being said, l have a veryy long road ahead of me; I have so much to improve and I'm excited to keep developing my life in a positive way that can help me and others around me. For real, life is too short to sit around eating chips...get your lazy ass up the fucking chair and start taking action. No one will do it for you. I wish everyone good success and a happy life! FlaiR |
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| Author: | $uave [ Sat Aug 11, 2012 8:25 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
I read this post and overall liked it. I liked the inner game part and about being grounded in your reality and letting other people dictate it to you. Also, yes people who're having a good time are more attractive than those who look grumpy. Still, that alone probably won't be enough for what you want to achieve from PU. |
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| Author: | rhythmic02 [ Sat Aug 11, 2012 10:09 pm ] |
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Inner game is by far the most important thing. The catch is there's not much money in teaching guys inner game. It's more profitable to send guys with no confidence in the field and watch them flounder until they either sink or swim. Quote: I read this post and overall liked it.
I liked the inner game part and about being grounded in your reality and letting other people dictate it to you. Also, yes people who're having a good time are more attractive than those who look grumpy. Still, that alone probably won't be enough for what you want to achieve from PU. |
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| Author: | .Chaos. [ Sun Aug 12, 2012 9:14 pm ] |
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I liked reading this post, thanks for taking the time to write it. I remember listening to a David DeAngelo course and he said it's crucial to work on your inner game and when you get that sorted your outer game will follow naturally. I actually didn't believe it at the time but on further reflection I think this strategy is spot on. We need to build up a tremendous amount of self-confidence and know who we are as a person. I also agree we need to practice practice practice. I try and head out as much as I can but it's difficult sometimes to juggle PUA, work, AFC friends, family, hobbies etc. But I find actually I don't need much motivation to work hard at this. My libido is my motivation! |
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| Author: | Hawke91 [ Mon Aug 13, 2012 9:33 am ] |
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+1 like I think that the most important thought to take away from this post is the practice section. One can learn theoretics all the way til they're stuck in the skull, but it all means nothing without field experience. A lot of it. And field exp is worth notjing if one is not willing to take a chance or two and have some guts to start interacting. Nice post |
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| Author: | *FlaiR* [ Sun Aug 19, 2012 12:14 am ] |
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Quote: The catch is there's not much money in teaching guys inner game. It's more profitable to send guys with no confidence in the field and watch them flounder until they either sink or swim.
It's not more profitable to send guys with no confidence in field. Most guys who pay programs don't have confidence and it actually takes a lot of experience till you get to a certain level. Even with all the insights that I wrote above..let's say that someone explained to me that I'm enough...1 year ago, that would mean nothing, because my brain doesn't have reference experiences to handle that belief / reality. So inner game is not just something you read. It's something that you first read, get a glimpse of a new reality and than with time, by thinking and aligning your actions with that reality, you start to fulfil it deeply and deeply, until you just internalize it 100%.
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| Author: | easel [ Sun Aug 19, 2012 5:19 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Quote: Quote: The catch is there's not much money in teaching guys inner game. It's more profitable to send guys with no confidence in the field and watch them flounder until they either sink or swim.
It's not more profitable to send guys with no confidence in field. Most guys who pay programs don't have confidence and it actually takes a lot of experience till you get to a certain level. Even with all the insights that I wrote above..let's say that someone explained to me that I'm enough...1 year ago, that would mean nothing, because my brain doesn't have reference experiences to handle that belief / reality. So inner game is not just something you read. It's something that you first read, get a glimpse of a new reality and than with time, by thinking and aligning your actions with that reality, you start to fulfil it deeply and deeply, until you just internalize it 100%.It is also the same to other concepts. It meant nothing if someone told me to be confident. Only if I read, think and act for a long time, and then I know what confidence means. |
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| Author: | debovnik [ Sat Aug 25, 2012 8:35 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
game boils down to a few simple things: being confident being able to persist in set being able to open consistently being able to re-open being able to go direct the rest is bullshit |
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| Author: | *FlaiR* [ Sun Aug 26, 2012 8:41 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Quote: game boils down to a few simple things:
Easier said than done...game is a hole lot more than that mate..these are just some basic stuff that if you do, you may have some results here or there..what you want most is to focus on who you become as a man, not what you do to achieve a certain outcome with a girl.
being confident being able to persist in set being able to open consistently being able to re-open being able to go direct the rest is bullshit |
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