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Dealing with not "Winning" (even when you're not i
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Author:  YouWish99 [ Sun Jul 29, 2012 10:00 am ]
Post subject:  Dealing with not "Winning" (even when you're not interested)
So, I have an issue. Not really a big issue, but one that has been bothering me.

The Issue: Not winning winnable scenarios because you decided you don't find the outcome desirable, but still feeling a vague sense of failure because you didn't just win because you could.

Specifically it's an issue of putting yourself in a position with a scene that isn't your scene and placing yourself in the midst of women/people who are all wrong simply out of having a temporary lack of better options.

Anyone else having this problem and if so what did you do about it?
Author:  DEW [ Tue Aug 07, 2012 3:56 pm ]
Post subject: 
I enjoy getting out of my usual "crowd". I believe that getting out of your crowd and talking to many different types of people teaches you how to calibrate more smoothly and how to reframe quickly. Controlling the frame is difficult with people that you just met, so it's a nice challenge.
Author:  kasabi [ Tue Aug 07, 2012 5:08 pm ]
Post subject: 
"Challenge" is part of our DNA. A good level of it keeps our brains functioning and healthy. It's also essential for our emotional and spiritual health. You'll find that most people who live the longest do so not because they lived comfortable lives of leisure but because they felt that there were challenges and things to accomplish.

Interestingly, people who do not have any real challenges in their lives will artificially create challenges because as mentioned, there is a need for us to face these things. . . it's what makes us human.

Having said ^this, what does "winning" and "losing" have to do with hanging around and socializing with a bunch of folks? You're creating silly over-dramatized scenarios in your head because your brain is starving for some real stimulation. The kids that work so hard to put everybody else down in social environments do so because they do not experience success in their real Worlds. People who watch a ton of TV do so because they experience little social interaction in the real Worlds.

Go find your life. There are challenges for you take. There are plenty desirable outcomes that will drive you. You just need to accept them.
Author:  MrBreeze [ Tue Aug 07, 2012 6:17 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:

Having said ^this, what does "winning" and "losing" have to do with hanging around and socializing with a bunch of folks? You're creating silly over-dramatized scenarios in your head because your brain is starving for some real stimulation. The kids that work so hard to put everybody else down in social environments do so because they do not experience success in their real Worlds. People who watch a ton of TV do so because they experience little social interaction in the real Worlds.

Go find your life. There are challenges for you take. There are plenty desirable outcomes that will drive you. You just need to accept them.
I like this man!

I dont like the bars and night scene... been there and just over it. I still force myself into the situation sometimes but find myself "losing" because I just dont care or feel comfortable. This is normal. I wouldnt set up expectations for yourself to win or lose... just be and experience. Hope this helps brother!
Author:  YouWish99 [ Wed Aug 08, 2012 12:44 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thanks guys. I've distracted myself for now by taking up online dating as a hobby. It has been a while and I figure the abundance will keep me from focusing on other situations that in the grand scheme of things not all that important.
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