PUA Forum :: How to get served at the bar. This has so many advantages!

Are you guys mad?

Call him dude, pal or whatever you use. Don't do it in an annoying way obviously. If you say mate, call him mate. The difference between a good interaction and a bad one is a good one you speak to them like they are a real person not some service. Using 'mate' and its variations doesn't elicit respect it is EMPATHY and rapport. You show them you know they're a person who has had a bad/good day with a life.

Im always with friends that are rude and don;t even look at the person, throw the money literally and speak in a sharp condescending tone. Then i always make it up to the person by cracking a joke and asking about their day and we have fun, he doesn't.
One thing i like to do is if they say "meh" to how their night is (and it usually is considering they serve annoying drunks all night) I'll usually pull a playful look or giev them a smile, they smile back. You've made their night.

The tip, maybe because Im british but putting a big tip is pretty much against all that this forum teaches. Tip them normally, let your personality be the thing that gets them.

Seriously, speak to them, smile, eye contact, ask about their day or something to lighten it up and you'll be remembered.

Credit Tim: Shout your name when they come to you. having a human remember who you are isn't really a big thing.

Note: I worked in a shop for 4 years (16-20) and I liked being called boss/mate/buddy/pal. And generally just cool conversation and respecting my time was all that was ever needed (and for anybody else I know too)

Quote:

I'm from the uk too man. Tipping will instantly make them remember you. You see these guys earn their living off tips, not their wages. When you get a bit older and start to drink in nicer bars you might realise that calling him 'mate' or 'boss' is not ideal.

Ever been to a smart bar or restaurant with your parents? You wouldn't hear your dad calling the manager 'mate'. You'd hear him say: 'hey John, how have you been?'
Now obviously I think it depends on where in the uk you are from. As regions have there own normalities. But from where I'm from calling a manager /bartender a 'mate', he will think of you as a kid. Not a gentleman. If you are from Birmingham though!? Haha mate is in every sentence!

You're talking about class and the specific venue, if you wanted to do a post about high class venues then maybe. . .

But I think you're either making this all up from what you THINK it would be like or you have some rigid beliefs about how you should go about speaking to people.

Where are you from?

Ever been to a smart bar or restaurant with your parents? You wouldn't hear your dad calling the manager 'mate'. You'd hear him say: 'hey John, how have you been?'
Now obviously I think it depends on where in the uk you are from. As regions have there own normalities. But from where I'm from calling a manager /bartender a 'mate', he will think of you as a kid. Not a gentleman. If you are from Birmingham though!? Haha mate is in every sentence!

Quote:

As a heads up, I do occasional shifts in one of the most up-market cocktail bars in an oil city. "Mate" is perfectly fine. All depends on the mood of the venue.

Author:	hero99 [ Tue May 15, 2012 6:19 pm ]
Post subject:	How to get served at the bar. This has so many advantages!
Have a read. It will help you out. When I was sitting down a few months ago I asked myself how I could improve my social status in a bar/social situation. I was thinking how bartenders work.. Do they just start at one end of the bar and work their way down? Does a regular get served before someone they don’t know? Do friends take precedence? Or do they just serve the loudest guy first, in an effort to get him to shut his trap? After talking to a few bartenders and trying various methods, I think I’ve got it down to a few key concepts. 1. Always, always, tip. An elephant never forgets. Neither does a bartender (or waiter, for that matter). If you don’t tip well, or at all, you are automatically on the bottom of the list. And don’t play games with your tipping, either. If you pay cash each round, tip with your change. Don’t pull it all back and then tip at the end of the night. Tipping is expected, no matter how much you think of it as “extra.” If you start a tab, tip when you pay at the end of the night, or when you get your rounds with whatever cash you happen to have. Either will do! Both! Let’s be honest: if you don’t have money to tip, go to a liquor store, buy your favorites, and watch the game at home. If you don’t have money to tip, you don’t have money to go out in the first place. Here’s a tip: tip big on the very first round. This is now a staple for my night out. I always leave the guy around 30% of my first drink bill. This will make him look after you for the rest of the night. There is nothing better than a bartender serving you first, coming over and topping you up even though you didn't ask. This differentiates yourself from 95% of other people in the bar. Girls and other guys see that you are getting preferential SPAM and they don't really know why. If the bartender doesn't look after you after giving a big tip then you need a new drinking place. All respected bars will look after there good customers. It will save you money in the long run as I now get free drinks and I get asked to try out new cocktails they have designed free of charge. RESULT! And guys, your phone number is not a tip. Give my female bartenders out there a break. 2. Know what you’re going to order before you start yelling for service. If it’s super busy and you’ve finally gotten the bartender over to take your order, KNOW WHAT YOU WANT. There is nothing worse than knowing what you are ordering. I can’t stress this enough. IT PISSES THEM OFF AND THEY WILL HATE YOU. 3. Chief, Boss, Bro, Scout, Partner, Dude… The list goes on. Don’t use them. For bartenders they’re the equivalent of nails on a chalkboard. The key is not the names, but what they represent: respect. Like it or not, the bartender is in charge of the bar. You are in his territory. Waiters come to YOUR table, but you have entered the bartender’s area. Treat it, and him, with respect, and you’ll both have a good time. 4. Don’t stand at the server station. If the bar has a station where servers come to pick up drinks, it’s a bad idea to try to stand there to get one. You’ll get mad because the bartender is there 50% of the time, yet he’s ignoring you, and he’ll ignore you because you’re not supposed to be there in the first place, so he’s hoping you’ll get the idea and move. 5. Be a regular. Find a bar you like. Go there as often as you can. If they serve food and it’s good, eat there on a slow night. Talk to the bartender when he’s not busy. Get to know about him and let him know about you. Create a rapport. When he sees you on a busy night, he’ll make steps to make sure you’re having a good time and getting taken care of. Unless you’re the creepy jerk regular that only tips with phone numbers given to the waitresses! Now what does this achieve in the long run? 1)You make a new contact: a bartender 2)You will 100% get better SPAM by the bar staff if you follow the rules above 3)You will differentiate yourself from all the other chumps 4)You will instantly have a bigger and better social status in the bar 5)Don't tell people about how you tipped big. Act sly about it. Bragging will lower status. 6)ENJOY BEING IMPORTANT. IMPORTANCE MEANS ATTENTION AND WITH THE RIGHT GAME ATTENTION MEANS RESULTS. Please feel free to leave feedback! It took me a while! haha

Author:	Redlight [ Tue May 15, 2012 8:34 pm ]
Post subject:
Great post, man we all appreciate it... In loud & busy clubs I go one up and use the bartenders as social proofs, high-fiving them and leaving the girls' purses behind the counter (always a problem what to do with the purse, gets in the way of dancing and kino-ing)... And yeah, tipping big gets you that extra attention... Not being a big drinker (max 2-3 glasses of liquor and 2-3 Red Bulls) even by tipping 20 - 30% it only adds like 10 - 15$ to the bill... not much indeed...

Author:	Cornishman [ Tue May 15, 2012 9:50 pm ]
Post subject:
Are you guys mad? Call him dude, pal or whatever you use. Don't do it in an annoying way obviously. If you say mate, call him mate. The difference between a good interaction and a bad one is a good one you speak to them like they are a real person not some service. Using 'mate' and its variations doesn't elicit respect it is EMPATHY and rapport. You show them you know they're a person who has had a bad/good day with a life. Im always with friends that are rude and don;t even look at the person, throw the money literally and speak in a sharp condescending tone. Then i always make it up to the person by cracking a joke and asking about their day and we have fun, he doesn't. One thing i like to do is if they say "meh" to how their night is (and it usually is considering they serve annoying drunks all night) I'll usually pull a playful look or giev them a smile, they smile back. You've made their night. The tip, maybe because Im british but putting a big tip is pretty much against all that this forum teaches. Tip them normally, let your personality be the thing that gets them. Seriously, speak to them, smile, eye contact, ask about their day or something to lighten it up and you'll be remembered. Credit Tim: Shout your name when they come to you. having a human remember who you are isn't really a big thing. Note: I worked in a shop for 4 years (16-20) and I liked being called boss/mate/buddy/pal. And generally just cool conversation and respecting my time was all that was ever needed (and for anybody else I know too)

Author:	hero99 [ Wed May 16, 2012 7:31 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: Are you guys mad? Call him dude, pal or whatever you use. Don't do it in an annoying way obviously. If you say mate, call him mate. The difference between a good interaction and a bad one is a good one you speak to them like they are a real person not some service. Using 'mate' and its variations doesn't elicit respect it is EMPATHY and rapport. You show them you know they're a person who has had a bad/good day with a life. Im always with friends that are rude and don;t even look at the person, throw the money literally and speak in a sharp condescending tone. Then i always make it up to the person by cracking a joke and asking about their day and we have fun, he doesn't. One thing i like to do is if they say "meh" to how their night is (and it usually is considering they serve annoying drunks all night) I'll usually pull a playful look or giev them a smile, they smile back. You've made their night. The tip, maybe because Im british but putting a big tip is pretty much against all that this forum teaches. Tip them normally, let your personality be the thing that gets them. Seriously, speak to them, smile, eye contact, ask about their day or something to lighten it up and you'll be remembered. Credit Tim: Shout your name when they come to you. having a human remember who you are isn't really a big thing. Note: I worked in a shop for 4 years (16-20) and I liked being called boss/mate/buddy/pal. And generally just cool conversation and respecting my time was all that was ever needed (and for anybody else I know too) I'm from the uk too man. Tipping will instantly make them remember you. You see these guys earn their living off tips, not their wages. When you get a bit older and start to drink in nicer bars you might realise that calling him 'mate' or 'boss' is not ideal. Ever been to a smart bar or restaurant with your parents? You wouldn't hear your dad calling the manager 'mate'. You'd hear him say: 'hey John, how have you been?' Now obviously I think it depends on where in the uk you are from. As regions have there own normalities. But from where I'm from calling a manager /bartender a 'mate', he will think of you as a kid. Not a gentleman. If you are from Birmingham though!? Haha mate is in every sentence!

Author:	Cornishman [ Wed May 16, 2012 2:59 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Quote: Are you guys mad? Call him dude, pal or whatever you use. Don't do it in an annoying way obviously. If you say mate, call him mate. The difference between a good interaction and a bad one is a good one you speak to them like they are a real person not some service. Using 'mate' and its variations doesn't elicit respect it is EMPATHY and rapport. You show them you know they're a person who has had a bad/good day with a life. Im always with friends that are rude and don;t even look at the person, throw the money literally and speak in a sharp condescending tone. Then i always make it up to the person by cracking a joke and asking about their day and we have fun, he doesn't. One thing i like to do is if they say "meh" to how their night is (and it usually is considering they serve annoying drunks all night) I'll usually pull a playful look or giev them a smile, they smile back. You've made their night. The tip, maybe because Im british but putting a big tip is pretty much against all that this forum teaches. Tip them normally, let your personality be the thing that gets them. Seriously, speak to them, smile, eye contact, ask about their day or something to lighten it up and you'll be remembered. Credit Tim: Shout your name when they come to you. having a human remember who you are isn't really a big thing. Note: I worked in a shop for 4 years (16-20) and I liked being called boss/mate/buddy/pal. And generally just cool conversation and respecting my time was all that was ever needed (and for anybody else I know too) I'm from the uk too man. Tipping will instantly make them remember you. You see these guys earn their living off tips, not their wages. When you get a bit older and start to drink in nicer bars you might realise that calling him 'mate' or 'boss' is not ideal. Ever been to a smart bar or restaurant with your parents? You wouldn't hear your dad calling the manager 'mate'. You'd hear him say: 'hey John, how have you been?' Now obviously I think it depends on where in the uk you are from. As regions have there own normalities. But from where I'm from calling a manager /bartender a 'mate', he will think of you as a kid. Not a gentleman. If you are from Birmingham though!? Haha mate is in every sentence! You're talking about class and the specific venue, if you wanted to do a post about high class venues then maybe. . . But I think you're either making this all up from what you THINK it would be like or you have some rigid beliefs about how you should go about speaking to people. Where are you from?

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How to get served at the bar. This has so many advantages! https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=25&t=135981	Page 1 of 1

Author:	hero99 [ Wed May 16, 2012 7:09 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: You're talking about class and the specific venue, if you wanted to do a post about high class venues then maybe. . . But I think you're either making this all up from what you THINK it would be like or you have some rigid beliefs about how you should go about speaking to people. Where are you from? Yeah I understand this probably wouldn't be too good in a hectic club or mabye if the bartenders are some young guys who don't know the rules. This works in upper-end bars and could work in other places too but only in the right situation. I'm from Aberdeen up north. Yourself?

Author:	Slipps [ Wed May 16, 2012 7:59 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Ever been to a smart bar or restaurant with your parents? You wouldn't hear your dad calling the manager 'mate'. You'd hear him say: 'hey John, how have you been?' Now obviously I think it depends on where in the uk you are from. As regions have there own normalities. But from where I'm from calling a manager /bartender a 'mate', he will think of you as a kid. Not a gentleman. If you are from Birmingham though!? Haha mate is in every sentence! As a heads up, I do occasional shifts in one of the most up-market cocktail bars in an oil city. "Mate" is perfectly fine. All depends on the mood of the venue.

Author:	Techgame [ Wed May 16, 2012 8:18 pm ]
Post subject:
Yeah, all good tips. I think the pal/buddy/bro tips is especially good because I know when someone calls me buddy or pal, I want to kick him in the teeth. Getting fast service also means you don't have to have lag time between ordering and gaming. The other thing I'd say to do is to take a few seconds to get a basic idea of the bartender's personality and be chummy with them in a way that suits that personality. I usually do give lots of quick compliments and jokes and after a few of those, service speeds up notably.

Author:	hero99 [ Wed May 16, 2012 9:02 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Quote: Ever been to a smart bar or restaurant with your parents? You wouldn't hear your dad calling the manager 'mate'. You'd hear him say: 'hey John, how have you been?' Now obviously I think it depends on where in the uk you are from. As regions have there own normalities. But from where I'm from calling a manager /bartender a 'mate', he will think of you as a kid. Not a gentleman. If you are from Birmingham though!? Haha mate is in every sentence! As a heads up, I do occasional shifts in one of the most up-market cocktail bars in an oil city. "Mate" is perfectly fine. All depends on the mood of the venue. In an oil city? Aberdeen? Houston? lol You have to admit though, calling someone by the first name is better. Especially since we are adults.

Author:	RetiredRodeo [ Wed May 16, 2012 9:14 pm ]
Post subject:
Hero... Great read. Spot on.

Author:	skills360 [ Thu May 17, 2012 2:03 pm ]
Post subject:
here is by sexaddict 911: The game is different based on whether or not you plan to visit this club again. I usually always assume i will be back ( unless it is far out of town or I am on vacation) I do not have any outlines or model of what I do, but I do have some rituals that I tend to follow. If you arrive at the club early, it is a good idea to spend some time with the staff. Being very polite and friendly can help you later on in the night. Even before entering, talk to the door man establish a good rapport with him, get his name. Be extremely friendly. Try to be memorable. ( this can help you in the future if you frequent the club again) I usually always look for an attractive bartender, ( male or female) I will order a drink and then offer a very big tip 5-10$ I will then say to them, I am giving you this tip now to ensure great service from you, there will be another big tip at the end of the night. This usually gets you served first approaching the bar when crowded. The reason I look for the most attractive is because they usually have the most eyes on them when it becomes packed.( while customers are waiting for drinks) So when you come to the bar to order another drink and they serve you first, it usually makes others wonder, what is so special about you. Talk to the bouncers, establish a friendly rapport, get their names and remember them. You never know when you may need their help. ( being seen with bouncers can often help you establish a sort of don't mess with this guy attitude from other alpha males in the club) After I have successfully worked the staff, I will then seek out a spot in the bar where I can see the most. I spend the next 30-60 minutes observing ( I will rarely work game right away unless it presents itself to me) I will also do many laps of the club getting myself seen and trying to establish eye contact with as many beautiful woman as possible. When eye contact is established as I walk by, I will usually smile or make some sort of positive gesture then keep walking. ( I am not approaching anyone at this time) What I am looking for is simple tells, wedding bands/engagement rings, boyfriends, signs of interest- extended looks, smiles, smirks, attention, positive energy, dancing style, drunkiness ( too drunk is no good for my game) cock blockers...etc etc. All of these things are observed when trying to find a mark. I will only pick one mark at a time, sure there may be 10 girls i want to work on, but i will only focus on one at a time. A very important element in a club setting is your comfort around other alpha males. It is wise to always find friendly ones, based on over heard conversation etc. A very easy way to establish a friendship with them is to show your interest in the women in the club. ( As a hot woman walks by, observe her then look at the other guys observing her, then as she is gone, comment on how hot she was to the other men and what you would like to do to her) It's a form of mutual bonding, as all of you have the same intentions. Never address a group of men, usually one or two men at once. Groups tend to have a group mentality and you can often be seen unconsciously as an intruder but by talking to one or two members of the group can easily bring you into general acceptance. Easiest way to get respect from guys in a club, is to be good at dancing. Dancing is the best possible tool to have in a club setting, the better you are, the more respect you will garner. ( If you are not in anyway an alpha male, i suggest you learn to dance well) It also sets you apart from the rest. Almost any dance floor in any club anywhere in the world is usually 80-90% women. Then out of the 10-20% of men on the dance floor, how many are dancing well or even dancing period. If you are on the dance floor dancing well, you become a very small percentile, thus making you unique. Becoming comfortable in your present setting is essential to starting your game in the right mind set. The better your mindset, the better your game.

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