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Congruence, looks, natural
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Author:  mi1ooo98 [ Tue Feb 28, 2012 4:06 am ]
Post subject:  Congruence, looks, natural
I notice a sticking point for me is running out of stuff to say, What do I do when I can’t think of anything to say?


Do believe in what's coming out of your mouth when you say it?


What do you mean believe?


How strongly are you convinced that what you’re saying is real and exactly what you feel like saying in the moment? That your reality is strong enough to be certain of what you’re saying and you’re the sex worthy guy, no matter what is coming out of your mouth.


When in my comfort zone I'll be 'myself' which means i'll say stuff with confidence but i'll speak less.
When i'm out of my comfort zone i'll try and think of stuff to say and it'll backfire into chodemode, know what I mean?




Of course.
You're lacking a sense of entitlement.



So, you're saying that a sense of entitlement would result in better conversation skills?


fuck yes, It's everything. It's the very reason you may have trouble talking to a hot chick, but not a fat chick. Simple, but massive.


Right, you know thing is where i live you'll see the WEIRDEST LOOKING MOTHERFUCKERS with the HOTTEST GIRLS ever, and i'm like, well gee.


Looks don't matter. The only reason looks matter is if they matter to you.


That's what i'm saying, I use to be insecure about looks until i saw hundreds of these couples. I'm like, well it's got to be something else.


If you're good looking, you may feel more entitled. Congruence is the foundation of everything you need, in my opinion. Charisma is important,
but, congruence is the foundation
You can't build charisma on not being congruent.
Do people who are chrasimatic everr run out of shit to say? No
You know, i went to a seminar not long ago. And i hear
"MAKE SURE YOU SMILE"
"Big smile:D"

I don't agree with this at all, If you want to smile, smile, if you don't, don't.
It's all about congruence.


I know watcha mean by congruence, but not really how it applies to this.


I went out the other night and i wasn't in state at all, i really wasn't feeling anything, I was tired, But i still tried to force myself to be funny and entertaining, do you think that worked?

Of course not, i ran out of shit to say, I was stuck in my head, all that crap.
So not only was i not being chrismatic but i was also in congruent.
his happened like with 4 sets in a row
And i was like "fuck this"

Just sat down and chilled half asleep like, I saw a girl. talked to the girl next to me, and started talking to her. In the most chilled out way that i felt
I said " yeah i'm actually pretty tired"
everything i said was actually boring
but it was completely congruent
and because i started to be congruent
I also started to be charismatic
After about 5 minutes, when my state started coming in from being congruent. So the intereaction was low energy
Yet, she was highly attracted.

When you think about it, if you just act how you're feeling, and say whatever you feel like saying based off your emotions, and not think you have to be in entertainer mode, you'll always have shit to say.


Makes sense


It's a mind set, a state. It's not a thinking thing(find things to say)
It's just a state that you're in
whenever you're thinking of shit to say, it won't work
"there's something about the clods today that make the sky look like a whole lot of smoke"
First random shit that i just thought of then
Random as, but who cares, it popped in your head, use it
So what happens when you don't feel entitled?
something will come to your head
Because you think the real you isn't good enough
and you need a better you to get this girl
Because being yourself doesn't qualify


Right
Thing is i'm getting into my comfort zone with talking
like i stopped forcing myself to think about what to say
and everything flows smoother.
but the congruency stuff makes sense


You don't have to say what you're thinking, just as long as that's what you feel like doing, so it's congruent. that's why talking is neither good nor bad
The quiet guy that's incongruent gets called a weirdo
The quiet guy that's extremely congruent gets called the cooled out chilled mofo pimp.

The loud guy that's extremely incongruent gets called a try hard and approval seeker
The congruent loud guy gets called the party animal that the chicks are lining up to fuck
loud or quiet, both will get you chicks
it doesn't matter
It's an amazing realisation
that you can actually be yourself
you don't HAVE to pretend you are loving the intereaction
you don't HAVE to pretend anything
you don't have to pretend you're not nervous.

End of the day, all you need to be is real
this kind of shit should make you look forward to tests
Because you can always pass them
and give them what they need to know straight off the bat.
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