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| Issue with lack of friends (limiting beliefs?) https://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=25&t=127518 |
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| Author: | peel [ Tue Jan 31, 2012 8:17 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Issue with lack of friends (limiting beliefs?) |
Im posting this here because you guys talk a lot about limiting beliefs. I want to know if my appearance , personality or something else may be influencing this. My personal opinion is ,that to a degree, yes, because people are superficial and they are biased on looks a bit. The more good looking you are and the more normal and cool you are as a person, statistically you see they tend to have more friends. And no, because if you look at Sean Stephenenson, he has a good life, a great personality, and has lots of friends and has dated lots of girls (honestly this is really hearsay and based on a couple videos only so no guarantees) Im not looking for a ton of friends. But I feel somewhat lonely at times. I partially push away some because I fear they will interfere with my studies and life but I dont think thats the real reason as I have made friends that I dont push away. My lifestyle consists of me attending college classes basically and the rest in my dorm just relaxing and studying. Is it due to a lack of trying? I guess what I do is, I try to talk to people in class and introduce myself and stuff. But often I get really scared. Im scared they will not like me, and often time they are pretty cold to me. i.e. once in class, I talked to this girl and was simply trying to be friendly. I tried to talk about small talk but she started to give small, curt replies, and act really cold to me. She wasnt even good looking at all and in my head I was going "you are not even good looking in the slightest! I was just trying to be friendly and you are acting like a total *****. **** you" But afterwards, I felt kind of rejected and I have this fear of stuff happening like that again. Also, there's this guy this morning, he used to be in my choir class. I thought things were going pretty well but then I seemed to sense coldness from him when I saw him around. Once in class, I tried to talk to him and asked himm if he could help with something but he kind of ignored me and said I'll do it later. Anyhow, this morning I saw him again and I know we never hung out and I felt he didnt like me for whatever reason but I tried to be nice and said 'good morning' as I passed and he just grunted out a 'hey' and it seemed he had this cold expression on his face. Inside I was like 'what the f did I do to you to deserve this?' Am I reading too deep into this? I feel I may be too antsy and sensitive about it but I cant help it sometimes. |
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| Author: | Morpheo [ Tue Jan 31, 2012 9:57 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
You just gotta chat with more people. Keep it light. Practice chatting with everyone you see, especially store clerks, waitresses, etc. They're always nice and will build up your confidence. |
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| Author: | LEF2226 [ Wed Feb 01, 2012 1:23 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
I've had similar experiences like this before on campus. To be honest, it's probably nothing you've done personally. Some people are just socially awkward. Plus, you have to deal with the whole social circle dynamics of college. For example, people are stuck up (just like high school) and don't talk to random people that often. So, don't let these incidents discourage you. It's the other person's problem if they are acting that way - not yours. |
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| Author: | package [ Wed Feb 01, 2012 6:03 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Find Pua guys in your area. They make the best friends. They know what you are going through. And I found they do not tend to have the bad traits normal guys have. No amogs, no cliche behaviour. |
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| Author: | peel [ Wed Feb 01, 2012 7:44 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
@package Im kind of scared to meet another pua unless hes like really good because I feel like novices are going to be stuck-up superficial robots that will backstab their friends and become a complete douche when they see a good looking girl. Im exaggerating of course but I feel like Ive met enough of people like that these days and Im tryna stay away from that. Either its that or im just being paranoid a bit and thats why i may be pushing people away. I think I started to become a little like this before I caught myself and thats why |
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| Author: | GWhizz [ Wed Feb 01, 2012 8:02 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
DUDE WTF? you sound like a chick. Be a fucking man, man. You shouldn't care if autistic people act strange/distant around you. If they do, FUCK FUCK FUCK them. People respect people that do their own thing, that don't need approvals. Just be cool man! If you want girls, go to another city and just approach any girl you see! Or search for jobs at restaurants/bars where there are lots of female employees. But, most importantly, DON'T BE SO GODDAMN INSECURE! You're a man, you don't need anyone's approval, nobody NEEDS to like you. Needy is very repellent. -pardon me if this is too harsh, but you're a MAN! |
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| Author: | Vietman100 [ Thu Feb 02, 2012 2:03 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Don't beat yourself up. Those people you chose to talk could have just been having a bad day. I know when I'm in a bad mood I try not to talk until I get over it. However if you're starting to see a trend with everyone you're speaking to, then you may need to evaluate your communication skills. |
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| Author: | samex [ Thu Feb 09, 2012 5:37 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Hey peel, The issue that lies here is that you are looking for a connection to make with people. It's hard when you try to "look" because your not being yourself and people sense that(especially girls). What I recommend is that since your in college/university, you should take the opportunity to join clubs/activities that take place, more specifically, that INTEREST YOU. When you find out more about what YOU enjoy and what YOU like, you will slowly begin to see people that might have the same interests as you, and the connection to becoming friends will be ALOT easier. The emphasis here is YOUR INTERESTS...be honest with yourself, if you like ballroom dancing, or collecting playdough, whatever it is, if it REALLY interests YOU, than pursue it. As you get in-depth into whatever your doing, you'll be able to take on the next step, relating to people. Your realize that things like dancing and martial arts, two different subjects, actually have a lot in common, and you will be able to relate that and build on that...but I digress If you really want to take it a step further, their is a book called "How to win friends and influence people," by Dale Carnegie. I know the title sounds like somethings for losers, however, I can honestly say that this book has single handily changed the way I view people. It will give you step by step instructions to making friends and influencing people(hence the title lol). I am giving you MY WORD that this will help you with the process. Hope this helps, Samex |
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